Carnal Desire Ch. 11-17

Most people in a situation such as this would immediately get offended and want to start an argument or show the unwanted intruder their possessive nature, and admittedly, I used to be one of those people when it came to Sydney. However, I have come to learn that I needed to do no such action. Sydney leaned forward seemingly interested. "No. Actually, this is my first time here." She gave him an endearing smile; one he wouldn't know was fake. Putting her daiquiri closer to her mouth, seductively wrapping her lips around the straw and sipped her drink.

I glanced at the mirror behind the bar and seen the wannabe Lothario gulp and loosen his tie. He quickly recovered, "Can I buy you a drink?" He tried to ask smoothly.

"Well, that depends." Sydney replied while circling her fingers around the rim of her glass. I took the first cue, getting the bartenders attention then ordered us both another drink.

"On what?" Lothario wannabe asked curiously, his gaze fixed on Sydney's delicate fingers.

"On if you can answer three simple questions." She replied nonchalantly.

This seemed to pique the guy's interest.

"Okay. Sounds easy enough." Lothario said cockily, earning a smirk from Sydney.

I knew his cockiness would be his downfall. I had seen her do this before. I was a little excited to see what the questions were going to be this time. The first two would often differ, most of the time, but the last question was always the same. It may seem mean to those on the outside looking in, but it's a cat and mouse game that sort of just happened one night when we were clearly on a date. "Alright then, all you have to do is answer honestly." She stated her only stipulation while breaking me of my reminiscent thoughts.

"Fair enough." He agreed arrogantly.

She smiled sweetly then launched into her first question. "Do you find me attractive?" She asked arching an eyebrow.

"Absolutely." He replied without hesitation, his interest evermore piqued.

"Do you want to fuck me?" She queried seductively, batting her eyelashes. Lothario appeared like he didn't know what to say or do. Evidently caught off guard by the forward question. Unsure of how to answer, all he could do was nod his head in response.

Just then the bartender came with our drinks. Perfect timing really. Sydney snuck a glance in my direction through the mirror. I took this as my next cue, lifting myself casually from the bar. "Now remember, answer honestly." She reminded him, he nodded his head again. Sydney leaned in close and whispered into his ear, just barely loud enough for me to hear. "How deep can you go?" Her voice seductive, that it even made me shiver. Yet, I knew it was a part of the game for her. She leaned back slightly, awaiting his reply.

Lothario took a moment; most likely consider his answer. "Seven inches." He said proudly.

Sydney smirked as I came up beside her handing her a drink. She took a sip of it as I slipped my arms around her waist, setting her drink down, she began to relax into me. "Hey baby, is this man bothering you?" I asked as I looked to the guy in front of me then taking in the sight of the beautiful woman I was holding.

"No. I believe he was just leaving." She said with a dismissive wave as she turned to embrace me, giving me her full attention. With one last glance at Lothario who had a stunned expression of disbelief and then realizing the rejection dawned on him. I can hardly feel bad for the guy, he did arrogantly try to pick her up. Treating Sydney as a sexual object instead of a real lady.

If there's one thing I learned about Sydney, it's that arrogance will get you nowhere with her. I kissed the crook of her neck, she let out a soft moan of approval. The guy scowled at me then turned and made his way through the crowded club.

"Let's go dance." I said placing another soft kiss, this time next to her ear. I held my hand out, which she immediately took. I guided us through the thicket of the crowd, finding a nice spot in the middle of the dance floor.

We danced for a good hour, grinding on each other to the rhythm of the upbeat tempo. Enjoying the feeling of being free and letting go of any worries or concerns for the time being. It was hard to keep from smiling as I watched Sydney dancing carefree, I was happy knowing that I was the one who could bring this out in her. As our bodies pressed close together and not just because there were people around, but because it was hard to keep our hands off of each other.

I felt more alive with Sydney than I ever did with anyone else. I could only hope that I made her feel the same way. My breath would hitch every time I would catch a glimpse of her eyes, they were brightening up my insides. Metaphorically causing me to glow with anticipation. For what? I don't know. I just knew I didn't want things with us to end. Just then, the DJ decided to slow things down. I placed my right hand on the small of her back while she put hers on my shoulders, then I took her other hand in mine. Everyone else faded into the background, until it was just us on the dance floor in that moment of pure bliss.

It felt like we were the only two people in the world. As if God created the universe just for the two of us to exist. I have never felt this way about anyone, ever. It was the briefest of moments, one that I will never forget and the only thing that broke us of trance was someone nudging us to get passed us. "Let's get out of here." I suggested, she nodded in agreement. I grabbed Sydney's hand and led her off the dance floor, then through the main doors. As we waited for Leo to drive around front, I held Sydney in my arms. Trying my best to shield her from the nip in the air, the slight howling of the wind caused Sydney to shiver.

I basked in the closeness of her, intoxicated by her perfume. Trying to commit this moment to memory, the feeling, the warmness of her touch, her lavender scented shampoo. As sappy as it all sounds, I didn't want to forget a single thing about her with summer being halfway over. I didn't want to take any chances; I am not going to take being with her for granted. So, rather than thinking about the summer ending and worrying about whether or not we'll see each other, I plan to make as many fond memories of her as I possibly can.

"What's wrong, baby?" Sydney asked while looking up at me. Pressing her body tighter against mine. "You look a thousand miles away. What's going on in that magnificent brain of yours?" I hadn't realized my thoughts had been so far away.

"Nothing to be concerned about." Sydney gave me a look like she wasn't buying it. "I'm serious." I said with a chuckle. "All I was thinking about was you and how I don't want to take what we have for granted. That's all." I said trying my best to reassure her.

Sydney's eyes softened a little more, then a flash of concern replaced it. "Jordan, I have to tell you something." The lighthearted feeling in the air dissipated as soon as the words were spoken.

Now it was my time to worry. I shot her a questioning look. "What is it? Is everything ok?" The worry in my voice couldn't be missed. I could see in her eyes the inner battle she was having with herself. I needed her to know she could trust me with anything. I didn't know or want whatever was causing this worried look she had to ever be a problem for her. "You can trust me; you know that don't you?"

"Yes of course, I know that. It's not a matter of trust. It has more to do with --" Before Sydney could finish her sentence we were interrupted.

"Well look at what we have here, boys." Sydney and I both turned in the direction of the voice. "Ain't this sweet." I should have guessed this douchebag would be a problem. With arrogance like his, he was bound to have an even bigger ego.

"Not tonight fellas. Now is definitely not the time to --" I gestured waving my hand pointing between me, Lothario and his goons. "Whatever this is."

Lothario looked between me and his goons and let out a raucous laugh, his boys joining in on the unmade joke. "You hear that boys? Hotshot here thinks she has a choice." All of them smirking, anticipating what's to come as I inwardly rolled my eyes.

Just like a man to think all women are defenseless. Looks like this night just got a lot more interesting. And what's with the stupid name? "Come on, really? Hotshot? What is this, the eighties? You can do better than that." I criticized condescendingly. When in fact I was more than irritated by the intrusion. A few of his goons snickered in the background, he shot them each a look.

Lothario facing me again. "You're really gonna wish you hadn't said that." An evil smirk appeared on his face. Making Sydney sidestep behind me, grabbing my right arm to steady her nerves. Just then a car pulled up behind me and Sydney. I glanced in the direction of the noise as the car came to a stop. Leo got out of the car. "Is everything alright here, boss?" He asked as he rounded the vehicle. Leo knew that everything was not alright.

"Everything's fine. These boys and I were just having, 'a little chat', aint that right boys?" Lothario and his goons looked at me, then glanced at Leo. I could see in my peripheral Leo flash his gun, which caused the men to slowly back away.

"Yeah, we were just having a little chat is all." Lothario said, putting his hands in the air while backing up.

"Come on Syd. Let's get you home." I said as I guided her to the car, opening up the door for her to get in. Once she was in, I looked at Leo, "Thanks Leo. I appreciate the help." I said as the worry for Sydney's safety had been dissolved.

"No problem boss. But you and I both know you could have handled that alone." He said giving me a playful nudge.

"And what? Risk how she feels about me?" I said nodding in Sydney's direction.

"Not a chance." I said with a smile.

The ride to Sydney's didn't take long. Once we made it safely into her apartment, I locked the doors while she went into her bedroom. I knew she had to be a little shaken up by what just happened. I was worried for her safety when everything happened, the only thing that kept me from really losing myself control was knowing that Leo was on his way. I couldn't bear the thought of what could have happened if it were just Sydney and I. Leo was right, I could have taken care of the situation myself. The only problem with that scenario would have been some type of fallout between me and Sydney.

She's the one person I don't want to think less of me. Losing her would be detrimental to my own self-worth, or I should say, self-loathing. I couldn't take the chance of losing her, not when I just found her.

There's no possible way for me to stop these strong feelings I have inside for her. At least for now, we deserve a chance. For as long as I can have her, for as long as time will allow, I'm determined to make the best of what we have.

And right now, her well-being is the only thing that matters to me. I steeled myself as I walked into her room, readying myself for what may come. Hoping that I could find the right words to soothe her worries. Stepping through the threshold of her bedroom, I glanced around the spacious modern room. Only to see it empty.

Further observing my surroundings, taking notice of the smallest of details, the room was devoid of any real color. Everything in here was white, the walls, the plush white carpet, even her goose down comforter was white, along with all of her linens that fit her king-sized platform canopy bed.

Which was placed by the floor to ceiling windows that spread on the two walls opposite of the bedroom door. I asked her one time why she put the bed in that specific spot, all she said was that it gave her a sense of freedom. I remember thinking at the time, how it revealed the sense of adventure she had.

Upon continuing my observations, the only signs of color were her mahogany bedside tables and matching vanity which was next to her bathroom door to the left of where I remained in the doorway. I heard the faucet running, that's when I noticed the bathroom door was slightly ajar. I didn't want to chance peeking in on her, I still hadn't had time to ask her anything. I didn't even know how to broach the subject in the car.

Just then she came into the room and started taking off her earrings, not even sparing a look in my direction. I watched her as she put them in her jewelry box that was on her vanity. She then made her way to her closet, bustling past me in the process. Opening her closet door, only to disappear a moment later. Even from where I was standing the tension in the air was palpable, I didn't know what to do with myself. I worriedly walked to the closet and stood in the doorway, trying to find the words. "Do you want to talk about what happened?" I asked trying to break the tension.

Sydney didn't look in my direction. She just kept searching her closet. I waited for her to say something, anything. I could feel her slipping away from me and that feeling terrified me more than anything. All I could think to do was walk up behind her, so I did. I gently grabbed her arms and put them at her sides, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Syd, please talk to me." I begged practically in a whisper, sounding almost desperate.

I heard her intake of breath, then she calmly exhaled. "Jordan, why did you have to do that?" She asked calmly, which kind of took me surprise. She's usually one to argue and put up a big fight.

"What did I do, Syd?" I asked, with a furrowed brow. I was more than a little confused.

She turned to face me, pulling herself away from me. A look of concern etched on her beautiful face. "Why did you have to antagonize that whole situation?" Well now I feel like an idiot. I hadn't thought of how she would view the situation. At least in that context. I'm used to not having to explain myself or my actions, since most of the people I know are used to this kind of thing.

"That's not what I was trying to do." I stated in my defense.

"Then what exactly were you trying to do, Jordan?" I could see the anger within her about to erupt. I had to try to diffuse this as quick as possible.

I took a deep breath, readying myself for my explanation. I knew she was at her breaking point, but I knew getting angry in return wouldn't help matters. It would only make it worse. "I was trying to buy us enough time for Leo to show up. I knew what those men wanted, and it wasn't going to end with them just letting us go. Those men, they were looking for a fight. I also knew that Leo would take care of it, calmly, making sure no one got hurt." I explained, hoping she would see it from my point of view.

Realization dawning on her. The end of the nights events quickly replaying in her mind. "Syd, I would never intentionally put you in harm's way." I declared as I grabbed both of her hands, pulling her closer to me. I was a little relieved when she didn't resist. "I was only doing what I thought best to protect you. I hope you know that." She nodded her head after taking a moment to think about it.

"I do know that. I'm sorry for being mad at you." She said as she leaned in closer to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I was finally able to breathe a real sigh of relief. Thankfully tonight wouldn't end in another argument.

"It's ok. I would be mad at me too if I were you. I'm sorry for not explaining myself sooner. I should have known you would feel that way." I admitted my thoughts from a few moments ago.

"It's fine. I forgive you." She leaned in further, prolonging the inevitable until I couldn't take it any longer. I kissed her, making her relax into me.

Before the kiss could get more passionate, I pulled away from her. "How about we go to bed. It's late and we had a long eventful night." I could see a flash of disappointment in her eyes. It's not that I didn't want to do anything with her because I did. I mean seriously, you have no idea how difficult it was for me to stop, but I've never been a person to prey on a woman's vulnerabilities. Sydney nodded in agreement after only a few moments.

While Sydney finished changing into her bright pink silk camisole and matching shorts, I opted for my usual boxers and sports bra. I waited by the light switch for Sydney to climb into bed, then switched the light off. Letting my eyes adjust to the dim light just outside. Climbing into to bed next to Sydney, automatically letting her rest her head comfortably in my arms. I placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Goodnight Syd."

"Goodnight baby." She said dreamily. A moment later I heard her breathing relax and I knew she fell asleep. Closing my eyes, I did the same.

*****^^^^^*****

I awoke just as the sun was rising. I looked down and seen a lovely sleeping Sydney still in my arms. Brushing a strand of hair from her face, I watched as her even breathing was going at a steady pace. In that moment all I could think of was how much she means to me. I thought back to the day we met and how she made me feel. How every day since then has filled me with something more than I could have ever hoped or expected. I hadn't left that day looking for anything or anyone special. Yet, someone special found me.

This feeling that used to seem so foreign now seems like my safe haven. Having her in my arms makes me wonder how I was able to function these past eighteen years without her. How did I survive without her in my life. I know it might seem like everything between has happened so quickly, but I can't stop this unstoppable force any more than I could stop the sun from rising.

My continued gaze at the woman lying next to me couldn't be helped. It's hard to look away from something so beautiful. Why she's with me will forever be a mystery to me. I never once thought of myself as someone even remotely special, well, aside from the obvious appendage. But even then, I used to think of it as some character defect. It wasn't until my friendship with Kennedy and Cole that I was able to come out of my shell. Once they found out and I realized they accepted me for who I was there was no going back.

It was up to me to accept myself for who I am. Which brings me to why I feel it's best if people know about me from the beginning. Especially if they want to form a friendship with me, why hide it. I would rather they make their reservations about me in the beginning then be angry at me for not telling them later. And once I was able to accept myself, I learned that more often than not, people respect me more for having said something. I realized at a young age not to be ashamed of who you are, I was lucky in that way. Learning something that can take some people a lifetime to figure out.

What others think about me, doesn't matter to me anymore. Just as long as I have Sydney in my life. For as long as I have her, I know nothing else matters. I guess for now, me and her will just have to live in the moment.

"Why so serious?" A welcomed voice pulling me from my thoughts. I turned to see emerald orbs staring at me. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't even hear or notice her stir.

"I don't know. Just deep early AM thoughts, I guess." I admitted, sighing out a long breath. Unsure of how much I should reveal.

"Oh really? What about?" She inquired as she made herself more comfortable, half of her body now laying on my chest.

"Us." I answered honestly.

"Hmm." I could feel her light breathing as she laid her head in the crook of my neck, the beating of her heart against my own. "Come to any conclusions?" Sydney lifted her head to look at me. Staring at me intently.

"Yeah. Just one." I replied cryptically. Knowing how suspense makes her feel. At this point I was just doing it to playfully torture her, letting the words hang in the air. I tried to remain as indifferent as I possibly could, even though all I wanted to do was laugh.