All Comments on 'Carol's Condition - Lisa's Story'

Nicely done! Looking forward to Kevin's Birthday Party!

WAY TOO FRAGMENTED FOR ME!

Too bad, it was going good(for me)

POV changes made an already hard to follow story even more problematic. Learn to use third person, and make it readable to someone that doesn't already know what you're trying to convey to them.

Fragmented may be, good story and from all POV.

I could follow the process -progress.

I for one *love* POV changes - they let me into multiple characters' heads. What made them feel a bit off was that they're in a chapter called "Lisa's Story", which led me to expect that it would all be from Lisa's POV, just as "Kevin's Story" is all from Kevin's POV.

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But other than that, awesome work. Can't wait to see where things go from here.