by Frederick Carol
Losing steam in the story. I understand being polite but it's being taken a tad too far. No heat involved in the sex scenes. "Yes please " & so on. More "Yes baby, take it, it's yours tonight, fuck me baby. Claim it as yours tonight." Even between family members. Give more detailed descriptions of the sex acts. Show more enthusiasm & excitement, even talking dirty. Also a lot of unnecessary meaningless dialogue. Good storyline but turn up the heat & let them get a little more nasty. Their doing this for the fun but it sounds more like a school assignment. JMO. Only 3☆