All Comments on 'Cassie 01'

That took less effort than I did time to read it. Poor story.

Way too fast, no buildup

Came across as a tender moment; well crafted.

If you're truly a highly paid attorney, which I doubt but we'll go with that, then you need to stick to the courtroom. Find yourself a good editor. Some of your stories have a good premise, but the delivery is awful. Your scores bear this out. Look for an editor, and you should see improvement. Good luck.

Dewey Cheatham

I understand why you only manage to almost get 2 people to follow you for each submission. I'm not going to call them stories or writing because they're neither.

With 77 submissions, you should have enough practice that if you have the ability to actually write something, you'd know how by now, so I suggest you take your vomit off the site. You're wasting valuable server space.

Tough to get past the second sentence...okay, you state she is visiting universities...then the subject shifts to her height.

Huh?

The entire first paragraph is choppy...

The plot isn't bad, but try to develop a flow in telling your story.

A couple of unwarranted reviews have been noted.

This story is an immediate telling of a tryst building quickly, something that has percolated for quite some time. These are not long drawn out sessions. Those come later, l anguishing in bed with space and no inhibitions.

Well structured, immediate as it would have been and beautifully related with we readers.

Run on sentences all over the place. Grammar is not your strong suit! You need an editor and a creative writing course. The structure is not good at all.

I hope you enjoy reading my stories but I'm offering my erotic tales for free, sharing intimate thoughts and feelings, If my spelling errors upset you don't read me again, simple, acting superior correcting small errors says more about you then me. They are not a book report constructed so every word is perfect, I have a tumbling out style writing from emotion. I love feedback even the harsh comments from the grammar police "English must be your second Language" being the most cruel/funny. What would be helpful to acknowledge though is not only are some of these rules the grammar police hold so dear incredibly capricious, they're also constantly changing. The thing that is oft overlooked is that as language changes, as it naturally does over time, the rules that govern it should change as well...

Yes, grammar rules change, usually over decades, but most of what changes is word usage. Structure changes slower, and less frequently than any other part of languages.

You picked spelling errors to bring up for what we should ignore. YOU are the only one in this comment string to mention spelling errors.

The fact that you fail miserably in successfully constructing actual sentences is enough to convince us that you are NOT what you claim to be in your bio. Nearly any judge in this country would laugh you out of the courtroom with instructions to return when you learn how to write if you turned in any kind of filing that was filled with even a few failed sentences, let alone most of the ones you tried to construct.

I've never seen anyone use the term "grammar police" in defense of theirs, or anyone else's writing who actually knew enough about grammar to use it properly.

Your scores and the number of followers you have do reinforce that you do not entertain many people with your submissions here.

I like how this one got right to the point. Nice job 👍