Castles in the Sky

He finished his cup of tea with his maudlin daydreaming and checked himself out in front of the mirror. He pulled a face to make sure there was nothing caught between his teeth. Move his fringe around until it looked as he wanted and then stepped away. He saw his phone on the table and from habit picked it up to put it in his pocket.

He opened it and called his wife.

'Hey Lulu, sorry to skip off. I got a call and needed to get up here to resolve it.'

'Hey Honey, thanks for the call. Were you able to sort it?'

'No, it's a bit bigger than I thought. I'm not going to be back until Friday.'

He could hear a cluck of disappointment at his words.

'Sorry babe. We'll take a rain check on dinner.'

'I'll hold you to that, Mister. Take care and remember I love you. Speak soon.'

'Bye.'

He put the phone in his pocket, picked up his coat off the chair as he walked past and made his way outside. In less than a minute, Nita joined him. She was in jeans, sweater and trainers, her hair up in a ponytail. She looked as good as ever. He smiled as he saw her.

'Can we keep the conversation away from what's going on? I know we might stray into it a bit, but I'd rather not talk too much about it. I need to get my head together first.'

'Is that how I best help?'

He nodded at her. 'I've got until Thursday to wrap my swede around this and work out what to do. Give me some space to process it, then we can chew it over. I'd value your thoughts.'

He saw her look thoughtful then nod.

'Your car or mine?'

Chapter Two -- Reflections on a marriage

Wednesday night already. Tomorrow was Thursday and usually on Thursday he would make the drive home. Work from home on the Friday whilst Louise was at school and then their weekend would start. He'd leave Letchworth around midday on Monday. Sometimes he'd go on a Sunday night, but usually he would stay long enough to see her leave for work on a Monday before he departed.

He had to make some decisions. He'd called her each night. The calls were brief compared to usual. There was no phone sex, an occasional treat that they both enjoyed. He'd not felt like giving her that kind of attention. She's seemed the same as usual. Nothing seemed different. She was a polished liar. For him it was surreal, trying to talk to her knowing that she was sharing her bed with Briony whilst he was gone.

He'd thought about not going home. About staying in Manchester, either for good or to give himself more time. But it was a poor tactic. He needed to act, not sit around. Waiting wouldn't make a positive difference to this situation. He'd avoided talking to Nita about the situation. He wanted to get his head around it first. So far though, he hadn't made much progress.

He loved her. He was quite confident of that. He loved their marriage. But he was torn. His marriage had always been a bit different. They lived their lives half together and half apart. It worked for them both. It suited him and it always seem to suit her as well.

With this arrangement, he could be with her when he was at home. With her one hundred per cent. Not be distracted and their marriage benefitted from that split in his focus. It seemed to work for her as well. She'd never complained about his absence. She understood and accepted the sacrifice to their living arrangements. She made sure that her work was done so that when he was at home, she didn't have lesson plans or marking to do.

It wasn't all fake. The more he thought about it, the more he dug into it, the more confident he was. She did love him. She committed to him and her words, her vows were important to her. So damn important that she had a copy of their vows on the kitchen wall. Framed. That's how important they were. He couldn't believe that she wanted the marriage to come to an end.

Hell, she was demanding children. She wanted him to be the father to her children. She'd told him that a hundred times. He was the one that had been dithering about the children, reluctant to start the family they both wanted. The reluctance driven by the amount of time they spent apart and her intransigence about visiting Manchester. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure she was genuine in her feelings. So why was she cheating on him?

He knew it was a double standard, but it being Briony did change his feelings around her infidelity. If it had been a guy, he would have had a rapid and rather extreme reaction. But with a girl. Part of him did wonder if it was a big deal at all. He hadn't worked out quite what his feelings were. He was calmer now.

Their relationship wasn't perfect. She didn't share his love of Manchester. She had a snobby dislike of the town. Seeing it as it was in the 1990's, not appreciating how much it had changed over the subsequent decades. She'd came up once in the early days of their relationship. It had been a rainy weekend, grey and drab. She'd not enjoyed the experience. She'd moaned and complained and it cemented her prejudice towards the city. It was a source of friction between the two of them on the rare occasion that they squabbled.

He wanted her to come up; show an interest in what he was doing, where he lived, the company and she steadfast resisted. Give the place a real chance. He'd nag each time there was a school holiday or a half term for her to come up. But always she turned him down, preferring to stay in Letchworth or visit her family. She was tight with her family, spending time with them each half-term and holiday when they weren't away.

Her friendship with Briony caused occasional problems. Briony could be a bit moody from time to time. Could be a bit intrusive, spending time with Louise whilst he was at home. She was close enough for her to be the irritating sister he never had. Briony was beautiful, clever, athletic and, usually, a hell of a lot of fun. She could crack him up with her view of the world and the people that occupied it. But she could also be condescending, frustrating and an unwanted obstruction blocking him from spending time with Louise. In fairness, this wasn't new, she'd been like it from the start.

He'd met Louise when he'd gone on a Stag weekend with an old friend. She'd been out partying with a group of school friends. She was home for summer from university. He'd met Briony, her roommate, that first night. They'd danced, he thought she was attractive, but nothing more. The next day, one of his group had hooked up with one of Louise's friends and the two groups spent the day together.

A day having fun followed by a meal and then meeting up again in the evening. He'd spent time with the different girls in the group and he found that he enjoyed Louise's company. She was attractive, knew how to have fun and had a nice butt. He wasn't looking for anything serious. She lived on the South Coast with her parents, studied in London. He lived in Letchworth part time and had a house in Manchester he'd recently bought. She was studying to be a teacher and was friends with teachers, hung out with teachers. He was an entrepreneur, a chancer, trying to make a small business financially stable when half the time he didn't know what he was doing. It wasn't an obvious match.

He gave her his number when she asked and took hers. He hadn't thought much of it. The geography meant their relationship would be a challenge and he was busy with work. He knew her friend Briony hadn't liked him much and he hadn't got much invested. She'd been fun to talk to, good to look at and could keep up with him on the dance floor. She'd laughed at his jokes, but he struggled to see anything more coming from it. There hadn't been the connection.

Incredibly, the two people that hooked up went the distance. On their first anniversary, they got as many people together as they could from their two friendship groups. James had gone along. He didn't have a lot of friends and he needed a bit of a lift after the death of his parents. They'd died a few months after he'd met Louise and he missed them a lot. He'd thrown himself into his work and the effort was starting to pay off. He was still small beer, but he was getting a good reputation for his flavours and the online side of his business was flourishing. This was a good excuse for a break away with different faces.

Louise and Briony had recognised him and clearly word of his loss had been passed across. They spent time with him, and he enjoyed their company. This time they were a bit flirtier, a laugh here and there, a touch from Louise on his arm. He took another look at the two of them. Both were good looking, but he preferred Louise, the blonde. She seemed calmer, more self-knowing and assured in who she was. He was getting a positive vibe from her, and he was liking it.

She called him the following week. Just to talk. It was just to talk, but the talking slowly built into a friendship and he began to travel down to see her. He saw a bit of Briony here and there. But he was there to see Louise and their friendship began to move into a different relationship. He didn't put pressure on her for sex. He was patient. He wanted a relationship, a long-term relationship, not a quick fling. She reciprocated. He met her family and he got on with them well.

When her course finished, she was happy to move in with him in Letchworth. She got a job at a local primary school and Briony got a job at a secondary school in Hitchin, a small town a few miles from Letchworth. James let her use his old flat as a place to stay. It worked well for all of them.

James had the peace of mind when he was away that Louise wasn't alone, she was safe. There was company for her. That stopped him from worrying. All of them benefitted from the arrangement and it endured. James proposed to Louise, and she accepted. They got married and their arrangement continued. James got to meet Briony's family. They were like Louise's in-laws. She'd known them for years having grown up with Briony. They were kind, friendly and adopted him as quickly and easily as his own in-laws had.

The arrangement worked. It endured. Right up to the moment that the scales fell from his eyes and he realised what a mug he was being played for.

He knew he was going to have to go home soon, but he didn't feel ready. He didn't have a plan. He needed a plan. That was the whole point of getting away, time to put together a response. Time to work out what the hell to do. Trouble was, despite that time, he still didn't really know.

He heard a knock at the front door and got up to answer it.

'I'm going to get you your own key.' He told a grinning Nita as she walked past him and sauntered on down the hall.

'If you're expecting me to complain about that idea, forget it.' She hollered back over her shoulder. He followed her swaying butt, enjoying the movement of her toned cheeks as she walked.

'You want my key, ask Jimolene. I've a copy already cut for you.'

'I wouldn't want to invade your privacy.'

'Pussy!'

He sat down at the table and watched as she made herself a cup of tea before joining him.

'Any biscuits?'

He shook his head as she sat down opposite him.

'You are not going to desecrate a digestive in this house, Madam.'

'Jim, you suck as a host. Right, tomorrow you go home, what's the plan?'

He shrugged. He didn't have one.

'Right. I've given you space. You've had the chance to wallow, eat ice cream and cry your eyes out to Mama Mia. Now it's time to man up and work this one through. Have you made a plan yet?'

'Nope. I've got past my first emotional response. But I'm scratching my head.'

'Jimston Churchill you are not. Let's work on it now, get you a plan. Let's win this war.'

'Nita, it's not that simple.'

He watched as she got up and fetched a piece of paper and a pen.

'It is. It's exactly that simple. We're going to approach this like it's a problem at work. Work this through, step by step. Do you want to stay married to her?'

'I don't know.' He paused for a moment thinking. 'I don't know if she wants to be with me.'

'Two different things. One is under your control, the other isn't. Do you want to stay with her?'

He nodded.

'OK, one down. Now, let's work out whether she wants to stay with you. Has this fling, affair, liaison between them been going on a while?'

He shrugged. 'I don't know.'

'Yeah, you do. Think about it. What's your gut telling you?'

'It's been going on a while. They've known each other all their lives, roommates at Uni. It's not new.'

'OK. Then she could've left you any time. Like, any time. But she hasn't. That tells you she's invested. She doesn't want to bring your marriage to an end.'

'Or she's waiting for something and then'll pull the trigger.'

She paused for a moment, thinking.

'True that. She's got the best of both worlds, hasn't she? A husband who loves her and sees her four days a week and a lover who shares her life for the other three. Both the people she loves and cares for under the same roof with her. Sure, there's a bit of deception going on, but she's got it good.'

'I guess.' He replied.

'Does she love you?'

'I thought she did. I thought we had a strong marriage. We talk, we spend time together, our sex life is active. And she's always stressed that our marriage vows are meaningful, something she wouldn't break.'

'What were your vows? Didn't you have the traditional ones?'

He shook his head. 'I did, she wrote her own, but I'm sure there was stuff in them about cheating.'

'Can you find out what she vowed?'

'Yeah, They're on the kitchen wall in a frame. Both our vows. Why?'

'Tells you if they were together before you got married. Didn't you say Briony was part of the wedding party?'

'Briony? Maid of Honour, yeah.'

He thought for a moment. 'I'll check them out. Write them down.'

Nita wrote down on the piece of paper -- find out what her vows were.

'She might not be cheating, you realise.'

'What?'

'If she was careful with her vows, she might not be cheating on you.'

James thought for a moment. That was a possibility. She was emphatic about how she felt about their marriage vows. Binding was the word she'd used. He snorted; it'd be worth reading them carefully given what he'd discovered.

'Jimmer, she's not going to leave you. She could've done, she's had opportunity, but she's stayed with you. She didn't have to marry you. She was probably with Briony first. She might be waiting for something to happen then leave, but she isn't going to walk out the door tomorrow. You don't want a divorce. You just have to work out how to get past this.'

'This is where I keep getting stuck, I don't want a divorce. I do genuinely love her and think she loves me. I think we've got a good marriage. But if it's that good, why has she got someone on the side? Why aren't I enough? I should be enough. I'm not a bad catch.'

'You're a damn good catch.'

He looked at her and saw her face flush.

'Thanks. But if that was the case, why does she need Briony?'

Nita shrugged 'Buggered if I know. If she was seeing a bloke ....'

'If she was seeing a bloke, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I'd have beaten the ever-living fuck out of him. She'd be living with her parents and my lawyer would be double fucking busy.'

'But she's not sleeping with another bloke. She's sleeping with Briony, who let's be honest, can give her something that you can't.'

'What? Pussy?' James paused, thinking before continuing. 'That doesn't feel right, Nita. It's just not her. She told me ages back I was the first man she'd slept with. The only one. She needed to feel the love, feel valued, like it meant something before she was willing to jump into bed. She'd had boyfriends before but never taken that step.'

'I love it, a lady of principle.'

James laughed. 'One day you're going to run out of sarcasm. I fucking hope I am there to see it. No, she's loyal to me and she's loyal to Briony. I don't buy that it's just a sex thing with Briony, look how long they've been together. She's in a committed relationship with both of us.'

'Can you be in a committed relationship with two people? Isn't that a contradiction or whatever they call it?'

'An oxymoron?'

'No, you're the moron.' James rolled his eyes as she continued. 'She loves you, married you, wants children and a future with you. Sounds right, doesn't it?'

'Yes, but ...'

'But she also loves Briony. She loves her, wants her in her life, wants to continue being with her. Yeah?'

James nodded. 'I think so. She was with Briony first but Briony can't give her all I could.'

'Thinking legitimacy, children, a future together?'

'Yeah, and she wants all that.'

She paused thinking, before continuing. 'That's it isn't it? That's why you're struggling. Briony's not a threat to your marriage.'

'No. No, she's not. Not in terms of ending it. If that was her game, she'd have done it by now. I don't get that sense of hostility from her. I think Briony wants things to stay as they are. What she has works for her.'

'Exactly. Louise's not going to leave you for Briony. But she'd like you as her husband and have Briony on the side. She gets some things she needs from you and some from Briony.'

'Little bit of spice?'

Nita shook her head. 'I'm the only little bit of spice around here. But I don't think so. I think it's an emotional connection, as well as a sexual thing. I think you're right about being in two committed relationships. Ones that work together alongside each other.'

'Work together with Briony knowing all about it, but me in the dark.'

'Yeah.'

James could see that Nita had drifted off into a world of her own. But her words resonated.

'That's why I'm struggling with the divorce question. She's having extra on the side, but with someone who doesn't threaten our marriage. She doesn't want to leave me or break up what we have.'

'Earth to Nita.'

'Sorry, a thought crossed my mind.'

She made a few notes, scribbling quickly on the paper in front of her.

'Another question for you. I should've asked this a lot earlier. Are you sure about this? Like really, really sure. No chance it could be a mistake?'

'I don't think so. I saw them kiss from a window. It wasn't a friendship kiss.'

'One hundred per cent sure?'

'Ninety comfortably.'

'Double check. You could be getting your panties in a bunch over nothing. You need confirmation that there is something between them and you haven't just got carried away.'

He pulled a face at her words, but she wasn't paying attention. As she spoke, she noted down for him to make sure she was cheating.

'Right, back to these vows of yours then. If she isn't breaking her vows, is she cheating on you? Does it matter at all?'

He paused for a moment to consider how he felt about her words.

'She might not be cheating technically. But even if what she's doing isn't breaking her vows, it's still not something I'm happy about. Even if it doesn't threaten my marriage. Cheating or not, a relationship with Briony is a gamechanger for me.'

'Fair point. She might not be cheating. However, at the very least she's getting extra you're not.'

'Make a note of that, Nita. Then underline it.'

Nita looked at him as he sat there pondering what she said and why it felt significant.

'She has all of me in our marriage and a little more on the side. I have her. I don't feel threatened by Briony, but I'm not happy that she's getting more on the side. Not so unhappy I want a divorce, but I'm pissed.'

'If she was to end it with Briony. Genuinely end it, how would you feel?'

'I'd still feel the same. She's pulled the wool over my eyes. I'm pissed. I don't trust her. That's another issue. If she said she was giving up Briony, I wouldn't trust her and that's a shit thing to say.'

'OK. What if she was to open up the marriage. Say to you that you could have her and Briony as well.'