Catharsis under Lockdown

After I'd finished cleaning up the room, I slipped a robe on and joined her in the kitchen, where she was preparing coffee and breakfast.

"What have you planned for today?" I asked.

"We have lots to do today. We have to record some more of your life's journey. Your first marriage was over, so what happens next? No, don't tell me yet, wait till we've eaten and I have the recorder going. Grab your breakfast and I'll meet you on the deck."

She took her breakfast outside onto the sunlit deck as I added milk to my coffee and muesli, then followed her. It was warm in the sun so she'd opened the front of her gown, sitting almost naked as the sun warmed her tanned skin. I did the same, feeling the warm caress on my skin. She eyed me critically, then reached over and gave my semi-hard cock a quick squeeze.

"Feeling frustrated?" she asked with a grin.

"You better believe it," I replied.

"Well, if you're good, I'll see what treat I can find for him," she replied, taking a bite of toast.

After a leisurely breakfast, we tidied up and returned to the main focus of our time together. Skyla set up her recorder and we were ready to go, almost the same as we had yesterday, except yesterday we were new friends, now we were new lovers, sitting together, almost naked, as she asked me about my life.

"Now, we'd just got to the part where you'd come home to find a note after your wife had left with the kids. What happened then?"

I was quiet for a few seconds, collecting my thoughts. Finally, I knew how to continue.

"Well, I should have guessed this was coming, I suppose. A few weeks before that, at Christmas, we had gone to stay at a friend's place about an hour's drive away. I did not know these people; Elise had met him somehow, sometime, I don't know when or where, didn't ask. He was quite a bit older than her and was in a marriage that was about as stable as ours. Elise spent a lot of time with him, while his wife tried unsuccessfully to seduce me. I had more things on my mind than an affair, especially as I didn't particularly like her, and I also had to look after our three kids because Elise effectively abandoned them. After a couple of days, it was time to go home and Elise and I had a rip-snorting argument, resulting in her walking out and starting to hitch a ride back home. I thanked our hosts, packed everything into the car, including the kids, and drove home. We passed Elise as she was climbing into a truck a few miles from home, so she arrived shortly after we did. It was a few weeks after that when I came home to the note and empty house."

I paused for a few minutes, thinking back to that time, before continuing.

"We had to have marriage guidance counselling, which started with us both sitting in front of the counsellor and telling her what had happened from our own point of view. After maybe ten minutes, she sent me out of the room so she could hear Elise's side of the story in more detail. When I was let back into the room, the counsellor's attitude to me was very different. She glared at me, told me she didn't blame my wife for leaving, told me I should be ashamed of myself and no, she didn't want to hear my side of the story. Not a particularly satisfactory outcome.

"The research facility at which I worked had an attached hostel for single workers so I talked with the personnel manager and yes, they had a vacancy and yes, I could stay there. This overcame the problem that I had of allowing my children to live in their home, as Elise said categorically that she would not return while I was still there. So, I moved out, packing my life into a few boxes in the back of my car, and drove away, never to return. That was certainly the best solution I could think of at the time, and certainly one I would make again even with the benefit of hindsight. However, it was held against me on many occasions as Elise claimed that I had abandoned her and the children, despite that fact that she, not I, had left first.

"A week or so after I had moved into the hostel, there was a holiday weekend and I visited my parents at their beach house. They immediately sensed there was something wrong and eventually I told them, which at least put them in the picture even though there was nothing whatsoever they could do. I don't remember much of that weekend except I went for a long walk alone on the beach, giving me time to think lots of thoughts, but not enabling me to make any decisions.

"Returning to my new reality, I now had to integrate solicitor's meetings and coming to terms with the situation, making new friends in the hostel and my unsatiated urge for sexual release with my existing laboratory work. The alcohol culture of the young males in the hostel fitted perfectly with my own perceived needs at that time. Every night (except Sunday) was spent at the local bar, drinking until closing time, then sleeping it off to work the following day. Unfortunately, I worked alone in my own small laboratory and had unlimited access to ethanol. I would therefore pour myself half a beaker of alcohol, dilute it with an equal volume of water, and that lasted me until part way through the morning. I would consume three of these potent drinks a day, then back to the bar for the evening. Sober? What was that?

"In those days, bars were closed on Sunday so Sunday nights were spent sitting in the hostel lounge, listening to music and chatting with other residents. While the majority of residents were single males, there were several single females who often flirted with and dated the men. The fact that I was married and separated spread quickly but was often more an incentive than a turn off for the younger females, who, to me, seemed really immature. There were a couple of more mature girls there, one who had a steady boyfriend, another, Wendy, who enjoyed knitting each evening. As fate would have it, she had just bought a motor cycle and did not know how to ride. I had a motor cycle, so she asked me to teach her to ride, which I did.

"Every couple of weeks there was an organized trip to see a movie. I went along with the group a few times and, although I was totally oblivious to her attention, my married status hadn't deterred Wendy, who arranged to sit beside me in the theatre. We chatted during intermission, but apart from that nothing happened, although the ice was broken. What did start our romantic progress was when fall turned to winter and I was short of warm clothes.

"'Is that for me?' I asked Wendy casually one evening as she was sewing up her finished knitting.

"'No, but I'll make you one if you like,' she replied.

"'Yes, please,' I enthusiastically replied.

"'It'll cost you,' she said with a twinkle in her eye.

"'What will it cost?' I asked, not having a great deal of money now most of it was going to my wife to feed the kids.

"'A night out,' she replied.

"I remember that I had very mixed feelings. Here was I, a reject alcoholic, effectively being asked to take out a young (18), lively and caring woman. What could I do but agree? I needed that sweater.

"The next day we went out and bought the wool, then I watched it take shape each evening, her deft hands quickly completing front, back, sleeves and collar, then sewing them together, all in a period of a few weeks. I found that I no longer wanted or needed to go drinking each evening; talking with Wendy filled that lonely space into which I'd previously poured liquor. The night it was finished was frosty, the coldest night that year so far, the perfect night to go for a walk and test the sweater out. Wendy and I walked along farm tracks near the hostel in the cold and I stayed wonderfully warm. I was extremely grateful and that sweater lasted me many years.

"The following Saturday night I took Wendy out to a moderately posh dine and dance establishment. She was overawed, never having been to such a place before. I didn't know it before, but she adored dancing. She told me later that it was the poshest restaurant she had ever visited, and even 50 years later we still recall that night with fondness. After the restaurant closed, we didn't want to simply head back to our single rooms, so I took her to a romantic spot beside a river and we made out for a long time. We enjoyed kissing, tongue wrestling, and caressing each other through our clothing as we talked about our lives so far. Eventually we had to return to the hostel and we kissed passionately before heading to our separate rooms.

"The next morning, Wendy told me she'd found an angry note from her would-be boyfriend, berating her for staying out so late. He was extremely possessive and although Wendy had tried many times to tell him that their relationship was over, he still persisted. However, with time and patience, Wendy managed to convey her message to him."

"It's a pity that some guys just don't get it," commented Skyla.

"Yes, although the three of us did have one interesting weekend away staying in the cabin I had used when younger for outdoor activities. For beds, this cabin had wide bunks about twelve feet wide, six feet long, covered in mattresses. So, the three of us slept on those, Wendy between her ex and me. Hilarious to look back on, but very frustrating at the time.

"Time went by and Wendy and I became lovers. One night I heard a tap on my door after I was in bed and when I opened it, Wendy was standing there, glancing nervously each way along the corridor in case she was seen visiting in the middle of the night in the guys' wing of the hostel. She quickly entered and we kissed, then she pushed me back on the bed and removed the towel I'd wrapped around my waist, then lay beside me, her fully clad body next to my nakedness.

"'Strip me, darling,' she murmured in my ear.

"I needed no second invitation. Very quickly she was naked alongside me, my cock responding automatically as we hugged, caressed and kissed each other.

"'Do you have a condom?' she asked. 'I'm not on birth control.'

"I did have, strange as it may seem, and quickly found one and pulled it onto my rock hard cock. She was wet and ready, and I entered her quickly, moving in and out for a short time, then spurting my cum into the condom. It was wonderful. However, Wendy was not satisfied. At that time, I had absolutely no knowledge of female orgasms; I thought only males had those. I didn't know that females needed release as well, and I don't know whether Wendy knew or not. Either way, I felt wonderful, she not so much. I carefully removed the condom and we cuddled before sleeping, close together, in the single bed. She dressed and tiptoed back to her room before dawn.

"The second time she visited me was a few nights later. We'd talked about the first time and discussed her lack of satisfaction, so I told her I'd try to hold off for longer and would continue after I came. She thought the main problem may have been the condom, so she decided that she'd go onto the pill as soon as possible. So, the second time she arrived we again made love with a condom, but after I'd recovered from my orgasm, I continued to make love to her. Again, she didn't cum, but told me that it felt really nice. However, our pleasure was to be short lived; when I withdrew from her, the condom was in tatters.

"Quickly she did some calculations and worked out that it was right in the middle of the fertile time of her cycle. We had quiet discussions of the implications, looking at options as we were both overwhelmed with guilt and dread of what would happen if she was pregnant to a married man. She had a strong and large family, who I had yet to meet but who reputedly were very concerned because she was going out with a married man, so having her pregnant would have been the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen.

"The following day we attended a work seminar together. We were both so focused on the possibility of her pregnancy that neither of us now can remember anything of the seminar, not even the topic under discussion. Wendy went on the pill the following day, and two weeks later her period arrived, so we both breathed sighs of relief.

"Wendy was raised on a dairy farm and I had always wanted to go farming even though I was raised in the city. We decided that it could be a good idea if we each worked on farms for a while. So, we left our laboratory jobs and worked on separate farms, which I found interesting and she found enjoyable. The only downside was that the farms were located about an hour drive apart and we only had Sundays off work, except when it was hay baling time, when it was all hands on deck. This meant that we saw each other a maximum of one day a week, and had absolutely no opportunities to make love together. Highly frustrating for us both.

"It was on one of those Sundays as we sat beside the river where we had made out on our first date, that Wendy suggested we go teaching. Long story short, we applied and were accepted into college and started the following intake. We both lived in the college hostel, which also had separate male and female quarters, but at least we could see each other every day and could sleep together occasionally."

"You hungry yet?" broke in Skyla, pausing the recording.

I realized that I was. "Yes, good time for a break," I agreed.

We stood and she approached me, our robes hanging unfastened, our bodies pressing together as we kissed. She looked down at my cock, hard and ready for action, then grinned, grasped it and led me to the kitchen, where we prepared lunch before taking it to the sunny deck, stripping off our robes, and lying naked under the sun as we ate lunch. We chatted about my experiences from the past and Skyla mentioned a few times she'd had interesting experiences with past boyfriends.

"One of my boyfriends was right into bdsm," she commented, "I learnt quite a lot from him and really enjoy mild pain and being restrained. You into that at all?"

"No, I have only done a little bondage on myself, but Wendy doesn't even like the idea of it. As a teen I used to go to sleep dreaming of a place I'd made up where people gained rank by various painful means. Possibly that was why many of the stories I wrote have included some elements of bdsm. However, if you want, we could experiment and you could teach me maybe?"

Skyla grinned. "Sure thing, I'm always interested in teaching a willing student. Tonight would be good."

"It's a date," I replied.

We turned towards each other on the wide mattress and cuddled together, kissing gently and lovingly. I felt her hand moving between our bodies towards my crotch and was not surprised when she first held my hard cock, then reached down and began fondling my balls.

"Guys are so lucky to have these toys," she said as she grinned while her hand caressed them gently. "However, they do have some disadvantages because they are such fun to play with and make it so easy to inflict pain."

Before I could react, she squeezed them hard together in her hand, causing me to let out a yelp as pain rocketed from my groin through my belly. It was over quickly; her hand relaxed and once again she was caressing them, grinning at me before reaching forward and kissing me sweetly as though nothing had happened.

"Maybe we could have some more fun tonight," she whispered into my ear.

While I was certain that Wendy had engaged in affairs with her clients while away, apart from the previous night I had never been unfaithful to her. The previous night could be just a one-off without too much guilt, but taking it further needed more thought. I didn't know if I wanted to go there yet.

"Hmmm, maybe; sounds tempting," I replied.

"Deal," she replied, "At least it's not a definite 'No'". She grinned at me as she stood up, then straddled me, legs wide apart, deliberately exposing her pussy to my gaze before bending at the waist to pick up her gown, spending far longer than necessary with her damp, slightly open pussy lips on display above my head. She then went inside. I followed a few moments later and dressed again in my room, meeting her in the lounge a short time later. I noticed that she was wearing a very brief bikini, so it appeared that this was her choice of arousing business attire for our next recording session.

"So, you and Wendy had just started college. Where to from here?" she prompted once we were comfortable. I couldn't help but notice that she was seated cross legged on a padded stool, leaning towards me, facing me, her widely parted thighs giving me a view of her barely covered pussy. While I hadn't decided on our future relationship, it was obvious that she wasn't about to let up on her means of persuasion.

"Well, the first year progressed well, courses were interesting, our relationship flourished even though our nights together were infrequent. We had several friends who allowed us to stay at their places for the occasional weekend, meaning we had two days together and two nights of glorious sex. Without those, it would have been a long year.

"After the first year, the situation became far better because we rented a house. So, for the first time we were able to live together as partners and explore our relationship. Our love for each other deepened, as did our knowledge of each other's body as we explored our sexuality together. The occasional times we were apart simply made our time together seem more precious and enjoyable. We decided to marry and did so a short time after my divorce came through. After that we bought a house together, finished college, went teaching, had kids, moved a few times around the country finally ending up here. Kids grew up, left home, married, had kids of their own. All pretty normal."

"So, why did you start writing for Literotica?" asked Skyla.

"Well, as I mentioned earlier, I had a troubled youth sexually, with many different and conflicting ideas, rules and expectations being pushed at me. I was fairly shy and was certainly not confident in myself, so I retreated to the world I had created in my imagination. Basically, it was a world in which those in power made the rules and had the fun, while the remainder tried to gain power by subjecting themselves to all sorts of painful and disfiguring operations, usually of a sexual nature, as I understood sex at that time. The story never went anywhere because I would fall asleep before it could, so it was just an endless and mindless immersion in bdsm, as my mind imagined it to be, every night. I blame that for my predilection for writing stories incorporating bdsm, but where that originated from, I do not know. Of course, more recently the internet has assisted by making the viewing of bdsm easily available, enabling it to be more realistically incorporated into my stories. I am aware that a great deal of the internet bdsm is acted rather than real, but then, of course, my stories are not real either, although some of them may include aspects of reality that I have experienced and, except for a very few, I hope they are close to reality and at least possible.

"My first story, 'Mixed Emotions', rated surprisingly well and is currently in the mid-4 range. That encouraged me to continue the series and even expand it to the 'Strippers and Prostitutes' series. After those two series, I continued to write from my imagination and from inspiration from stories, songs, and other sources. I try to make my stories thought-provoking sometimes, but on other occasions they are simply a sexy and/or bdsm romp. Some incorporate aspects of my own life and it is largely those that have a cathartic effect, so much so that I have frequently advised others who have similar past or present hidden thoughts or concerns to write them out.

"My most recent story series, 'Pleasure Island' nearly wasn't completed due to the complete absence of any drive to write when I was part way through the final chapter, which explains the long delay between the last two chapters. It was as though all the need to write as a way to release my demons had completely gone, as had those demons. However, once I made the effort to complete the series, I am pleased with the result, as, it appears, are my readers, at least one of whom wants the series to continue; a definite maybe."