Cesar, a Story

CESAR -- Puerto Rican male, 45yo, 5'10", 160, black/brn, med comp, truck driver/handyman, attached, 2 kids, player

ROMA -- Cauc Russo-Gypsy female, 65yo, 5'0", 140, DD bust, gray/blue, light comp, ret corp exec, widowed, no children.

Married 30yo, marriage 30 years when husband passed of complications of covid.

DECLAN -- Cauc male, Irish, 70yo, 6'2", 250, gray/brn, retired corporate security, presently separated, 2x divorced, Roma's companion and lover.

1

Roma. It had been several years since her husband passed. The marriage was not storybook and Roma had been quite shutout and lonely for the better number of years the marriage lived, or better defined, existed. Her husband had not been loving and due to PTSD from military service, he was married in name only, Roma his trophy wife. He was initially a fun, loving mate but after some happy years of marriage he became a very bitter and unhappy man after certain personal life experiences and Roma suffered from his disregard, treatment, and lack of love and companionship. She hadn't had sex in over twenty years and thought herself now wasted, unable to enjoy herself. She felt discarded and dead, merely living to work at her career where she was happy and well respected and highly paid. Roma had a serious medical event herself and was forced to retire from her beloved work and associations and friends to become a stay at home with occasional visits from and with old workmates, medical assistants, friends from youth. Within just a few short years her husband became ill and was gone quickly. Roma felt empty and missed his presence, but she didn't mourn.

Three years passed and Roma now wanted to live again! Get out and meet people, go places, see things. After all, she was a senior citizen now and that's what seniors do! No bingo hall or altar society for Roma! Her ancestral Gypsy blood began to flow again, prickle for excitement, touching a man, a lover, being made love to! She missed the emotional connection as well as the physical, the thrill, the sex, orgasm. Could she still do it? After all life's obstacles and upsets, Roma had her health again, and she still had a nice body and attractive face, eyes and smile. She decided one morning over her first strong cup of coffee to find out if she could, or when it came to it if she really still wanted to. It had been so long.

Cesar. Cesar lived in the middle-class neighborhood near where Roma's home stood. He was a truck driver and delivery man and moonlighted with doing handyman work to make extra money to fund his 'fun' lifestyle, and his women and two children. He was very good to all of them, supported them almost extravagantly, and also supported his mother. He was a handsome Puerto Rican guy, well-built from his years of hauling and heaving heavy boxes in his work, and then doing physical labor as a handyman. His delivery route for a large corporation included Roma's neighborhood and since Roma was the consummate online shopper, they eventually met at Roma's front door over a delivery of landscape lights. They would meet frequently this way because of Roma's buying habits. They became friendly, Roma invited him in on occasion for a drink of water, coffee or juice, especially on stifling hot days, or icy cold days. They got along fairly well and talked a lot about many things. Cesar spoke of his children, grade school age, and Roma decided to invite them to her home to enjoy the swimming pool that was maintained but seldom used by anyone. Cesar grew very fond of Roma and she was a very alluring mature woman with a great body and pretty eyes and Cesar felt sexual energy in her.

Declan -- Meself, writer of this chronicle. I'm retired a number of years now from my career in corporate security where I worked for a number of East Coast corporations or agencies for thirty-odd years. It was an enjoyable career filled with mostly enjoyable people, but times they were a-changin', as the song goes, and conglomerate politics and attitudes had changed, not to my liking. You cannot secure a business or its people when they absolutely loathe restrictions and rules and are offended at being told what they are and are not permitted to do. Two and a half years after I retired one of the 'associates' in my last employment, one whom I'd flagged as unsafe, appeared in the office one busy morning and executed eleven of the other employees before terminating himself. And that's the way it was.... Heartbreaking. Wasteful. I knew those folks.

I was not successful at marriage and three crashed and burned. The demands of my work played heavily into those disappointments, but so did my free-wheeling "personal interactions" with other women who appealed to my desires for fun and excitement. Why is it when the words "I do" are spoken, they don't anymore? Well, at seventy my quota of fun seems to finally have been used-up and I lost interest in my younger pursuits, and my libido and given equipment seemed worn-out as well, non-functioning when needed, quota expended. I even tried the "magic pills" out there with no success. My issues seem more serious and in need of a good mechanic, whom I have yet to find. I was disinclined to being a Macy's parade balloon and having "prosthetics" sliced into my genitals.

As many retirees will agree, a lot of leisure time is spent on the Internet, the source of more entertainment than any broadcast or streaming television programming, and a world of social interaction, education, and communication, all without the need to put on shoes or pants! I live in a renovated post-WW2 apartment complex in a large community. It has all I could ask for and is convenient to everything and everywhere, including all major roads and means of public conveyance. I also have several neighbors with whom I've become familiar and friendly and 'lonely' never plays into my mind, except on the occasional days when I miss close female companionship, and not just the bedroom kind.

It was the Internet that brought me to Roma. Roma and I had, in our youth, dated and had a relationship over forty years ago when she was working in a customer service job. I was deeply in love. But Roma was studying in a Master's program and beginning her climb into a fantastic career. I wanted forever but she wanted to get a career launched first. I was young, dumb, in a hurry, and I walked away. The biggest mistake of my life that is my only true regret in this life. I lost track of her and never saw her after we parted. Suddenly, while wandering The 'Net one day, HOLY SHIT! There she was! A regular OUT OF THE PAST moment! She saw something I had posted, recognized my name and simply sent "Hello. How have you been all these years?" I damn-near had a stroke and almost fell out of my chair! I had a whole body hot flash and my heart took-off like a machine gun! For a second I thought this was it, the big one! With trembling fingers I typed my "scholarly" response, "Hi Roma. I'm fine. How about you?" I read it back and put my head in my hands. Sweet jeezis! You asshole!!

A second hot flash seared through me when Roma sent, "I'm doing pretty well. I had a physical calamity and had to retire early, and then my husband passed away a couple years later. I still live in Carterville though, not far from where you might remember I lived with my family when you knew me."

My hands were shaking and sweaty now as I tried to type without hitting three keys at once. "Really? Wow. I'm living in Wooding here, town next to Carterville!" I reminded myself to breathe.

"That's great!" Roma wrote. We could maybe get together sometime for coffee?"

The room spun, my computer screen got cloudy. "Yes! Yeah, I'd like that." I sent.

"Are you busy tomorrow morning around ten?" Roma asked.

"Retired me!? No," I replied.

"Good. Perfect. Why don't you meet me at Henderson Park tomorrow morning at ten? I'll bring the coffee. How do you like yours?"

Oh my God! I felt like a nerd teenager again talking to the head cheerleader at school! She's asking me to meet! To see me! My head felt like it was pressurized, a wind noise in my ears.

"Light no sugar," I answered. "Where do we meet at the park? How will I know you?"

"Park in the lot behind the tennis courts. I'll be driving a silver Mercedes SUV, plate letters RAS. How about you, what kind of car?"

"Ford Crown Vic, bronze. Old cop car," I said.

"Okay then, we're set. See you at ten tomorrow. This is nice. 'Til then." And she was gone.

I had to go to the john, my insides were a merry-go-round. Oh my God! Roma!! Then I looked in the mirror in the bathroom. Oh shit. This is all I have to show her. My heart sank. Then I thought of my dysfunctions and my heart went full submarine. Elation to despair in seconds. What a trip!

2

The July day dawned warm, humid and clear with only a breath of air moving the leaves on the trees. The forecast was for extreme heat, temp around 90 with the "heat index" around 103. Not a great day for me because of medication that made me perspire like a bottle of cold beer at a picnic! I was self-conscious now of that. What to wear? I went with a tee shirt, denim shorts and sandals.

Ever punctual, I was parked in the park tennis court lot of Henderson Park at 9:45 a.m, engine idling, AC on almost full. It wasn't 'hot' yet but the humidity was horrendous. "What if she blows this off, doesn't show," I asked myself. Doubt flooding my mind now that I could be this damned lucky. Once more I got sweaty, but not from heat. My heart thudded in my ears, audible over the light jazz music I had on.

One minute to ten, here came a silver Mercedes SUV. As it got closer I read the plate letters RAS. I felt an electric jolt through me. It's HER! ROMA! I was frozen. I watched as she wheeled by the nose of my car. There she was! In profile behind the wheel, her head just above the door top. I had seen that face and expression before, a lifetime ago. It hadn't changed one bit! Only the hair now was gray or white, the tinted glass masking true color. The sunglasses! Just like I remembered. I felt like Santa just drove up in his sleigh! She looked at me and smiled and then deftly wheeled and backed-in alongside me on the driver's side. BOOM BOOM BOOM my heart again in my ears. My mouth suddenly parched, my lips and tongue stuck. Roma fiddled with something out of my view, probably a purse, and then she exited her Mercedes and I pretty much leaped out of my sedan.

"Stay there," Roma said. "It'll be more comfortable in your car, mine has a big console in the middle." She juggled two large cups of Dunkin' Donuts coffee and her handbag and I went over to grab the coffees. "Thank you," and she walked to the passenger door of my car and I put the coffees on the roof and opened it for her to enter and she slid in. She was wearing snug jeans and a matching horizontal striped tee shirt and colorful sandals. Perfectly coifed hair, still naturally curly as I remembered, only no longer brown. She smelled of vanilla. Makeup, but not a lot and tasteful, highlighting her eyes and lips. I handed her the coffees and shut the door and zipped around to my driver's door and hopped in and shut the heat out.

"Hi Deck, been a long time," she said as she removed her sunglasses. Those blue eyes! Still beautiful and sharp, looking right into my soul! My heart was at Formula 1 speed now and my mouth wouldn't work. Finally,

"Hi Roma. You haven't changed in all these years!" and my brain clanged "Oh how cliché, jerk!"

"Yeah, right!" Roma retorted with a laugh. "I'm so NOT how I looked when last you saw me in 1973! I'm gray, wrinkled, and fat! And look at these boobs! I'm all boobs like an old Hungarian grandma! Too big!"

I didn't know what she was talking about. I was looking at Roma and all I saw was the girl I loved so long ago and she looked the same to me. Then another loud chime sounded in my head; I still loved her! After all I'd been through, years, miles and wives, I was still in love with Roma! She was beautiful! Of course she had aged, as had I. We'd both lived a lifetime now. The only thing she said that did seem legit was her comment on her breast size. Roma was always a little girl, frame-wise, and she never had a chest this large. It looked like she had a boob job. They were proportional, but definitely a tad big for her body. They meant nothing. I felt like not a week had gone by since she and I were together last. Fifty years vanished and I was twenty-one again.

"You're wrong!" I protested. "So we got a bit older, you're still the same Roma! Your face, your hair, your mouth, lips, and those eyes!"

We sat facing each other in the car, HARVEST MOON by Neil Young playing on my CD. Her eyes were looking into me, shining, steady. I actually felt a force coming from them!

That old smile came on her and her eyes softened. "How about we have some coffee before it freezes in here," she said.

"Oh crap, I'm sorry! Too cold?" and I turned-down the blower on the AC.

"Just a little. My 'amples' are getting hard."

My face was blank. "Amples?" I asked.

"These damned boobs!" she laughed.

I laughed, "Oh!" She's still the amazing Roma I always knew.

We sat and talked for hours. The time flew. She told me all about the years since we parted. Her career, dealing with cancer, her difficult and sad husband and marriage. How she was just now beginning to get over everything and get on with her life, her way. The biggest challenge she seemed to be facing at the time was house maintenance. Several issues needed professional attention, including a leaky pool. Apparently her husband did not pursue upkeep and left it to Roma to arrange fixes for anything that arose. In fact, she had to leave at that time, it was now 2:30 in the afternoon, in order to meet a guy at her home who was going to assess the pool issue. She mentioned several of the people who have been working with or for her, one being Cesar. I was happy she had such support and they seemed to be legit and nice to her.

At parting Roma leaned over and we embraced and kissed. Her warm lips on mine sealed my fate. It was 1973 all over and this time I wasn't gonna blow it! We exchanged notes with phone numbers and email addresses. We were both stiff from sitting so long and I helped her to and into her Mercedes and with a blown kiss and wave she drove off for her home.

I was happy as a kid who had won the top prize! As I sat in my car I felt something cold in my skivvies. Holy crap! I had been leaking pre-cum and was soaked in it in my underwear! All we did was sit, talk and kiss once! Roma still had the same effect on me. I was still hers. I knew it. I wondered, does she? It's Roma, she knows. She always knows.

3

Roma was still testing the waters, as it were. We decided to maintain contact through emails and texting and meeting on "neutral ground," i.e. parks, restaurants, stores. We found we immediately fell into a relationship as though it was perfectly natural and right. It was like we'd been together all these intervening years since I stupidly walked away. We discussed everything and anything and caught-up on each other's lives, loves, catastrophes and all. Roma told me about her house being her prime focus, she had designed it! It was in need of many things fixed after years of neglect by her husband and she was busily taking care of that with various services, contractors and handymen. She named her help and sort of biographed each one. Cesar was chief among them as he'd become a frequent visitor and often with his children and even his mother to swim in the pool.

The third time we met in Henderson Park we sat in her Mercedes and again we talked like kids for hours! But in-person instead of on the ever-present cell phones! It was much better, nicer and more 'productive."

At this third meeting we were like teenagers on a hot date at the old drive-in! Kissing, embracing, petting. Several times Roma shuddered as though she had a chill.

"You okay? Air too cold?" I asked.

"It's not that," she said in hushed a tone as she looked down at her knees with a smile on her face.

"What then?" I was concerned.

"I had a couple of orgasms while you were kissing me and holding me," she said, as she looked into my eyes with the obvious fire of lust.

"Orgasm!?" I was incredulous! "From just kissing and hugging?"

"I'm as surprised as you are, Sweetheart, believe me!" Roma said with a chuckle. "It's been a very long time since I had these feelings. It's over twenty years since I had sex."

Zing! That electric shock feeling again through my body. Holy crap! Could it be!? Roma hadn't had sex in twenty or more years and I hadn't had it in twenty-two years! What power was at work here, I wondered!?

Well, now that the subject was on the table I was obligated to be transparent and truthful.

"I haven't been with a woman in twenty-two years," I told Roma. "It's been so long, and I've gotten to be seventy now without "exercising" myself, that I've pretty much lost the desire and ability to have an erection. I even tried Viagra so I could jerk-off again to no purpose. I had no one I wanted to be with for a long, long time."

"That's okay Deck!", Roma grabbed my hands in hers and looked into my eyes. "To make love you don't need a dick, and I don't care if yours doesn't work. There are many more ways to make love, physically also." Roma tenderly kissed my cheeks and then my lips.

Perhaps all this is so, but, I'm a guy and not being able to sexually fulfill a woman is devastating. Oh yes, she was right, there are other ways, ways I was pretty proficient at, but still.... Regardless of ability to get hard, my cock was leaking copious amounts of pre-cum since the first embrace and kiss by Roma in her truck. I hadn't had this happen in I couldn't remember how long! She had some aura or energy about her that filled me, excited me, made me want her badly. Then I recalled fondly, she had always had that. I was completely hers from the very first time we met and we looked into each other's eyes and she asked, "Can I help you?" Oh my God! I instantly went into a flat spin and spiraled into the fires of desire, done.

Roma snapped me back to the present.

"When the time comes, we'll be fine. I was never really into sex like I remember you were back then", and she smirked with laughing eyes and she stroked my arms. "Remember how you handcuffed me to the bed and weren't going to release me until I said 'Yes' when you asked me to marry you?"

Oh God!! Did I do that!? How can I not remember such a time!?? But I couldn't. It was gone, as memories of bad things and major screw-ups often flush from your brain when you realize what a fool you are. Or they were too painful and you deliberately power-wash them away. Now I was embarrassed for one, I'd done such a thing, and secondly, could not recall it.

"You don't remember that, do you?" Roma asked, a little disappointment in her face and voice.

I was seriously pained. "No, Babe, I really do not remember that, and can't believe I don't!?

"How about the time after I moved out of home that you came to my apartment in Carterville after your work one day and we made love in my bed up there?"

What!?? Oh no!! We had sex!? Spark, smoke and flame in my head but no memory could be brought forth! I'm such a scumbag! A cad! I was fairly crushed. Albeit forty-some years had passed, but, forget sex with Roma!? Shit!!

With a lump in my throat I answered Roma, "My God, Roma, I cannot remember that either!"

With a sad smile Roma said, "That's okay Honey. It's been a long time and right after that we had our last conversation at my job and I never saw you again. Next thing I heard from someone else was you had gotten married. I was floored. And hurt. I couldn't believe it."

Shoot me now! That's all I could think of at that moment.

"Yeah, and look how that worked-out for me...." I said.