by Long_live_the_king
When will this story continue? You do your followers a disservice by making them wait so long for the continuation. Please finish the story.
Too wordy, too much 'telling' not enough 'showing'. Incredibly BORING first page, it's as far as I got.
As you said you have a “few” errors in this first chapter, errors in punctuation (an abundance), error in spelling, grammatical errors throughout. But the story line is still discernible and not bad at all. So the reader can still struggle along if they so choose. And I do.
I like the way the Chairman takes care of business inside and outside the bedroom and for me that is all that matters. Do continue with "Chairman of the Board" and ignore the trolls.
I hate stories like this. I would throw her too the road so fast. What is wrong with men today weak
I liked your story and hope you continue on to many more chapters. I will enjoy reading them for sure! There is so much more room to explore here after she becomes a well known model. Jake is an incredibly lucky guy. I hope he wakes up. His issue seems to be that women can't lead a relationship or be a sexual leader. I appreciate your thinking. More please. Bravo!
so the problem with stories like this is when you write the husband being pissed off and saying divorce yet then has sex with the cheating wife and stays. Its either cuck it up and stay or man up and leave.
Selfish bitch/cuck shit. Since the wjore and Henry are so blatant, it would be easy to gather proof of adultery. Get HR involved, Sue Henry, divorce the cheating cunt, and get full custody of kids for her abandonment. No need for a ridiculously drawn out Chapter 2. You're welcome.
Don't know how this will end, but I hope Henry gets punished for his abuse.
After all it is her own body , she has a privilege to enjoy it at the fullest, Henry is good provider , barring the 'kinky' part of it'
Jake 's ego is hurt , but benefited 'physicality & materially'
In such situation just "wait & watch"
Congrat !!! Fantastic depiction except little lengthy narration
A troubling story but not well written IMHO. Choppy changes in the POV and an incredibly weak "hero" (if that is the correct word).
I hope there is a next chapter. You have a number of 'ch 1' but no 'ch 2' follow ups.
First, second, or third person. Pick one. It would really help the story. At least Jake isn't some willing cuck. Next time you write about male hierarchy consider some study. Generally there are Alphas, Betas, Gammas, and Omegas. None of them in practice line up with the common perception and definitely not what you read in erotic stories. If you really want to have fun there is the wild card Sigma that exists outside the hierarchy.
Sorry, this is so badly written as to be unintelligible. The storyline is all over the place, tenses switching line by line; not a decent character amongst them. Please no more.
If hubby is staying with his slutwife he should also give her a rough fucking too, no more lovemaking, vent his anger up her ass
Weak and disgusting characters. Jake is pathetic. He knows where this is going. He knows his wife has already cheated and he continues with her. It should be one and done. Henry needs a tire iron to the head for destroying Jake's kids' lives. Please give him a spine in the next chapter or get one star again for the cuck shit.
This is badly written. The plot isn’t well thought out, neither are the scenes and the narrative keeps oscillating between third person and first person. It seems English is not your first language.
This story is ABSOLUTE SHIT. NO man alive would tolerate the stupid oss doing such ignorant shit. I would play along just long enough to get video and pics and then i would own this bastard and divorce the wife.
Hve absolutely no trouble understanding this story. Looking forward to next segment. Five stars all the way.
Not a new story: Husband's boss moving in on his wife with a promise the "further his and her career". I liked the build up well enough, but it will be interesting to see if there is a brilliant ending or not.
9 pages that could be resumed in only one and not finished yet? Really? Shit will be flowing again?
I guess that you did not like my previous comment.
It seems to have disappeared.
I will try again: Your writing is shit.
I can tell you that I identify with the husband. I wouldn't go to the dinner. I would tell my wife, that if she goes I will divorce her. The only reason I would go to that dinner is to kill Henry. I would carry my Browning 9mm loaded with RIP rounds. I would give my wife one last chance to be loyal. I would let her decide her fate. Once I found her with him I would shoot him in the groin, destroying his penis and balls, thus saving any other people he might abuse.
I would leave the wife with him as I called the police and turned my weapon over to them. I would say nothing except I wanted a call with my lawyer. After that, the story would be about the trial, my conviction, my divorce, and my parents getting custody until my sentence was served. Everything about Henry would become public. I would write a book using a ghostwriter while I was in prison. It would be a best seller and the proceeds would go into a trust for my children. My parents would be the trustees. Upon release, I would be reunited with my children and happily divorced from my terminally stupid and disloyal Alice. How is that for a healthy dose of no-shit real-life example of how this could play out?
You have a good writing style. Use Grammarly to proof and ensure your grammar and word use are correct. I like the story but the emphasis has shifted in mind to focus on exposing and punishing Henry, while the wife is divorced in disgrace and dragged through the gutter of public shaming. Keep going. I look forward to seeing how your story concludes.
All the best,
Dave
I have a very serious question: is English your first language? I ask because this story, in its current form, seems to have the necessary ingredients to make a very good story, except for the fact that the actual writing is very poor. I think running the next chapter by a beta reader or two and getting a skilled editor would help you a lot. Good luck!
I enjoy reading stories like this. The bull took the wife, but there is a detailed story behind it. Keep up the good work. Look forward to the next chapter...
A wife who cheats diminishes her marriage. A wife who cheats in front of her husband disrespects and diminishes him. A wife who cheats with his boss undermines his career as well. Dump her fast and hard, quit, file suit against the boss, and look for a new job.
You have no idea how to construct a proper sentence in English! of coursse you have many good sentences, but they most probably are due to chance.
Your writing needs a good editor. You switch from 3rd person descriptive narrative to 1st person experiential at random, without warning. “Bills”, as in paying the bills, does not need to be capitalized. Why would it? You call them “newlyweds” after describing then as having had two kids - uh, nope, not newlyweds anymore. You leave out necessary groundwork: for example, you say it took awhile to get to the bottom of her bad moods without establishing that she was even having bad moods. You use incorrect verb tenses over and over.
NO, I am not nitpicking - you have a decent story here but it is extremely annoying (and disruptive to the reading flow) when you don’t take care of these basic, elementary level problems and errors. Just get a live human editor to help you - I am genuinely looking forward to Part 2, but without all these errors. Thanks for writing!
I hope there is a part 2. “To be continued”. You said this at the ending of “The Life of a CEO’s Wife” too. That was written 5 months ago. Still no continuation.
If you keep having the husband fight it then kick her out and burn the boss this could be good no matter if it’s a BTB or RAC
Hopefully, Jake will ruin the whore and her master, in every possible way, nothing being bad enough! Please write more chapters!
Same old, Same old. But with bad British grammar, spelling, word choice etc.
There's not a chance in hell a husband would put up with that mess. You should mention in the tags it's a cuck piece. I held out hope that maybe it wasn't until he caved to the slut's whining and agreed to do it again. The whore would have been on the curb and lawsuits would be well underway against the fucking idiot Henry.
Just a bunch of redundant sex with the trend and emphasis on a weakling husband and a no talent worthless slut of a wife. This whole story so far could be told in less than 4 parts. 2/5 with me not interested in part 2.
Another selfish slut wife and cuck husband. --1 l wont bother reading any more, l was hoping to see some balls grown but that wont happen. She is just another empty headed selfish slut who doesnt care
about her husband she claims to love or her children. she only wants a big cock and plenty of money. She will lose all her looks soon and her family and end up a lonely old women probably with aids.
Not that it means much in the overall story... but Alice is far too short to be a fashion model. "5 ft 7 inch, with firm, large breasts" is NOT the criteria for a fashion model. I spent 15 years involved in modelling/acting. Including catwalk, fashion, print ads (newspaper/magazines) TV commercials. All have different criteria.
For females to do fashion/cat walk, minimum height is 5'10". Average size breasts.
Perhaps the writer would have benefited from some english courses in school. Poor grammar, poor spelling and can’t decide whether to tell the story in second or third person.
Steven is less than a wimp, his wife is a manipulative whore. The boss is a caricature of a man as well as his wife Scarlett. Humiliation is what is driving this story and lording wealth over his subordinates.
Steven needs to kill all of the characters because they have no redeeming value.
My compliments on your ability to invoke emotion. I find myself getting upset. I find myself siding with the husband. Like devtek, I am hoping for another chapter. Again the wealthy are amoral predators, nice to see the wife as bad as the husband. Like with like. Not sure how but hoping Jake has enough brass to leave. Don't care for flames merely justice for a loving gentle man.
What not just become an escort? Or have an OF page?
Or….downsize?
Unless a woman is completely emotionally shut down, sex isn’t just a physical act, it’s an emotional one as well.
With a rating of 1.65 why would I waste the time to try reading this. It obviously sucks.
Mind you, if this ends up a cuck tale it will get a 1. Instead of the 4 it currently has. It would’ve been a 5 but her admission of cheating and her OTT nagging to him to accept her cucking him, and Jake just copping it cost you a point.
He should toss her to curb right now. She has already fucked another man and is quite clear in telling Jake to his face she wants to cuckold him. Even to the point of telling Jake she wants him to
Pick another man’s sperm out out of her cunt!!!!
The disrespect is just incredible and OTT.
What a lowlife she is. Yep, no choice divorce the cunt.
Is English your first language? If not, a lot can be excused.
If it is, were you only a mediocre student in high school?
It's incomprehensible you might have written a college paper at any level.
Sorry (not), but you only get a C- on this one.
After 9 pages of the wife making her marriage partner a cuck, why do you need another chapter?