- Erotic Couplings
- Cheating
- Page 2
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"Okay," she replied.
"Fuuuuck," Ben growled as the car service pulled into his driveway.
"Fuck!" Beth snapped, she just wanted it over with, whatever it was, just done. She wondered what the chances were that he had just gone off gotten laid, and would be as opposed to a discussion as she was.
- COMMENTS
ofloveandlustalmost 5 years agoAuthorYes, it is Sorry about that. Some of the formatting didn't come through from the cut and paste.
UltimateHomeBodyalmost 5 years agoGot too difficult to follow regardless of how slow I read. Gave up.
Changing between hubby and wife too often, with no warning. Put a note when chopping around. Maybe the name of who we are about to visit. You even had discussions without saying by whom and was with two completely different pairs.
Thorough mess and only worth a low score, even though I am not scoring at all. Fix up and resubmit, it might be better.
johntcookseyalmost 5 years agoI started reading too quickly and found I was totally lost about half way through, so I went back to the beginning and started over, reading slowly. Once I payed close attention, I really enjoyed it.
Kinda reminds me of an author I’ve recently followed (C. B. McKenzie - “Bad Country” and “Burn What Will Burn”) who uses very minimal punctuation and no quotation marks. It’s confusing sometimes, but makes sense if you pay attention to context.
Powerful minimalist characterizations. What a contrast are Beth and Ben, needy and selfish, respectively. I try to imagine their conversation in the morning. Two people speaking at each other in different languages, each unintelligible to the other.
Dark and thoughtful. Still bouncing around in my head. Thanks
