All Comments on 'Cheeseburgers, Vegas Style'

I lost interest early, when the descriptions became tedious rather than descriptive. "Fabulous Las Vegas Strip" should read, "the Strip". "My beautiful and exceedingly hot young wife - should read, "my wife". You have a 7 page story with several thousand words - no need to bludgeon the reader with over wrought description so early in the tale, you have plenty of time to tell me how hot the wife is through actions and events rather than with a hammer.

Not a bad tale, but the pattern continues and I read with disinterest. 4.0