All Comments on 'Chocolaté'

Thank you for sharing your story! What an interesting fetish to add to this website, since I definitely haven't heard of it before. With that being said, I have a couple of notes. For one, I would suggest for future stories to break up the large paragraphs into shorter ones more often. Having one of two may make sense depending on the plot, but I counted about 5 large paragraphs, and in a short story like this, that can make a reader prone to skimmed most of the dialogue so they can move forward quicker. The sight of a bulk of words may intimidate people and make them less likely to pay attention to what is being said.

Second, you have an intriguing fetish, but it feels shoehorned at the very end- almost like it's a footnote. I could seen it blend in better with the story more if you dropped in its information little by little as Gail was getting aroused. For example, you could have introduced the title of the chocolate in the beginning and explain what you needed to do to perfect it, then in comes Gail, she gets seduced, and revert back to the backstory about how it was used in medieval times. Maybe compare the experience back then to now and how Gail is living out something another woman did ages ago. That way, when the ritual is completed you could fast forward to just Gail reacting to the backstory that the audience has long settled in with understanding.

I hope this helps with future stories. Keep it up! :)