All Comments on 'City Planner'

This I did not expect. I started out confused and stayed that way to the very end.

Erica was a psychological nightmare, I would say clinically devoid of an actual personality, if that's possible. She marries a man and slept with him just fine, brought in another woman, but then had to sleep alone? The incongruity made my head hurt. I couldn't wrap my mind around the Erica/Marion dynamic after Erica started sleeping elsewhere, same with the husband. It wasn't clear enough.

Marion is a pleaser.

Too much needless chatter in the middle of the story, it bogged down.

An excellent story, literally mind boggling. An easy 5*s with caveats.

Weird story.... I cannot make up my mind if I liked or not. I’m definitely not satisfied with the end

So, scores 3/5 and I think that might be too much.

This definitely has the most interestingly developed groups of characters I've read here in a very long time. Each of the three mains are complex and disparate, and I like that for the most part they are very consistent and, at their core, don't change all that much over the course of the story. The story development is interesting, and also multilayered. The only part I have a bit of a problem with is Erica somehow ending up as not only emotionally but sexually distant at the end -- the story spend so much time establishing her furnace-like passion and total physical enjoyment with both genders that it really doesn't make a ton of sense to see her withdraw from that primarily into masturbation. Still, an awesome piece of writing!

I'm not certain that we read the same story. All I got after reading this was a headache.

This is a polyamory story, not a Loving Wives story. An interesting but laborious read. I sense of a lot of these issues are the author's, not really organic to the plot, but inserted and massaged to have an effect, rather than tell a story. There really isn't any substantial plot. In fact the most interesting part of the story is their future, left untold. And almost nothing in these 8 pages indicates strongly what that future might be. More kids, Erica jumping ship to live a professional celebrity's life, Marion dying in child birth?

Very complicated, but not very puzzling. When you create such a mentally fucked up character as Erica you can make her say and do whatever you want, and who can say its out of character? She's mentally dysfunctional, she doesn't have a character. Oh, that's her character? That's like saying the path the tornado took was the tornado's decision. Nice try.

Keep up the good works. It wasn't a fun read, but it was worth it. Hope that's enough. Thanks for the effort.

But not necessarily in a bad way, it was a different story about different people. Quite stilted dialogue but I think that fit the story. Thanks...I think

So basically Marion is his wife and Erica is just a fwb who they dont spend any time with. Erica spends weekdays by herself doing work, and the weekends are for the kids. She is basically a glorified roommate who uses them to take care of her kids and do chores during the week and occasionally get herself off.

You had a five until the ending. Not sure where you were heading.

That might have been the most boring title ever.

Hooked

... The words of an anonymous commenter that the story was "interesting but laborious" is truly the most fitting description of this work. I don't know if any or all polyamory relationships are like the one in this story but I have no doubt that most are probably just as complicated, to say the least.

I can’t quite understand what this story was trying to convey was well written but Erika character confused me was she married to him or the 3rd and person in a relationship I’m lost what was meant in this story sorry if this doesn’t make sense but to me this story confused me

Good story, well written with enough depth on the characters. When the whole swing/other partner issue was introduced I feared the story would come off the rails, into cuck stuff, but it did not. Nor did the story end with the typical cheat/divorce BTB nor RAAC.

This is one of the very few Lit LW stories that blends romance with LW to a trople that held my interest, worked emotionally and flowed well.

I gave it a 5, for making it work.

Thanks.

I loved, loved, loved this story! I always appreciate a story that develops the characters, and gets into the inner workings of relationships, and this one is a wonderful and offbeat example of that. Can't wait to read the rest of your works, Erewon25. Kudos.

Rarely do I ever make any negative comments about stories on here as I feel it takes far more writing talent than I have to put most of these stories out there. But... this one was just confusing to me. It very much left me asking...what’s the point?

This was so fucking complicated i lost interest. Maybe as a psych eval ok but not an erotic story

Sorry, it started well, but turned to shit after page 3. Firsted time I gave up reading