Clarksville

"Shit, shit, I'm so sorry mam!" Drew blurted out. "Did the coffee burn you, are you OK?"

She was perturbed at him no doubt, but she kept her cool. "I'm OK, the coffee is hot, but no burns."

"Shit" Drew said again, "I'll pay for your dry cleaning or a new shirt, can I buy your coffee for you, oh shit, I'm so sorry, what can I do?"

"First," she replied beginning to grin, "You can stop saying shit so loudly. I'm OK and a little spill never hurt anybody. Secondly, yes, you can buy me a cup of coffee and pay for my dry cleaning, or a new blouse if they can't get the stain out. And thirdly, you can sit down with me for a minute, and we can drink our coffee together. You're dangerous on your feet, so I'd hate to see what you would do if you got behind the wheel of a car!"

Drew was rarely lost for words, but her kindness and humor had an impact on him. He had not expected to find friendliness in a stranger, especially not one on whom he'd just dumped half his coffee!

She ordered a vanilla soy latte to go, and they found a small table outside on the patio. It was a gorgeous early spring morning in the Texas Hill Country.

"I promise to stop cussing but let me apologies again for being such a dip sh... a klutz." He held out his hand, "I'm Drew, Drew Vandermoss."

"Nice to meet you Drew Vandermoss, even if you did try to maim me with your coffee. I'm Lori Templeton."

An hour later Drew had learned that Lori was a transplant from the west coast, that she worked in the event planning business, she was single, and she was very good at asking questions.

She was indeed good at asking questions and she had learned quite a bit more about him than she let on. It was clear he was troubled and married and that, as her experience had taught her was a bad combination.

As they were getting ready to leave Drew said, "Lori, I know we've just met, and this is going to sound unbelievably forward, but could I have dinner with you tonight? Before you answer, I know you know I'm married, I'm not looking to hook up or anything shallow like that. My marriage is in deep trouble, and I'm taking a few days to clear my head and try and determine next steps. Talking to someone completely objective could be very helpful to me. I'd meet you at any restaurant of your choosing. My treat, along with the dry-cleaning bill. If you want, please bring a friend or colleague. I promise I'm above board."

Lori was good at discerning people and felt she could trust him. "OK, meet me at El Alma tonight at 6:30. Casual dress."

They met, ate dinner and Drew told his story. Lori could see his pain and knew intuitively that while he loved his wife deeply, he would never abandon his integrity. He was no cuckold, but she could also see his heart was not vindictive. When he finished Lori poured them the last of the wine and began.

"Drew, first, I'm so sorry for your pain. Betrayal is the worst. Now let me tell you another story, not unlike yours, a true story; like yours about two people I loved dearly who destroyed their lives and the lives of almost everyone around them."

"My friends Bennett and Cindy had an affair for 8 months behind Cindy's husband's back. Long story short, Rick, Cindy's husband found out, in just about the worst way imaginable, although your experience is about as bad. Rick was devastated, and like you, could never accept what had happened. And, like you, he didn't want to be vindictive. He thought long and hard about his options, but he never asked anyone's advice. He closed himself off to everyone around him and that led to an unspeakable disaster that is still causing pain. Rick died in a single car automobile accident. Cindy was crushed and still is to this day. Rick died three years ago, but her pain has not abated. I also happen to know; it will get worse before it gets better."

"Bennett isn't the marrying kind, but he did and does care for Cindy. He is also devastated how his lust ended up destroying a good man and ruining an entire family. Rick and Cindy had twin children who are now 12 and growing up without their dad. Bennett will never be whole again, and I also know in the future his world will experience a great deal of pain. Don't ask me how I know this, I won't tell you."

"I believe Rick ended up letting bitterness and pride make his decisions for him. In the end, his decisions, in my opinion, made and will make a bad situation even worse. Someday in the future, there will be a reckoning for both Cindy and Bennett, but I know, if Rick had allowed a friend or two into his heart and mind, his marriage may have died, but he'd be alive today."

For the next hour Drew asked several penetrating questions and Lori answered each of them and asked him some in return. It was close to 9:30 when they began to wind down.

"So I guess," concluded Lori, "The question is what do you want Drew? I mean what do you want that is reasonable and possible, given you can't go back and erase anything. I don't think you want to slink home Clarkston and accept what has happened. But do you want your pound of flesh, and if so, at what cost?"

"Lori" Jim replied, "Clearly you've never been to Tennessee. "It's Clarksville" he said in his best Tennessee twang. "You need to get out a bit more!" For the first time in the evening Lori saw him smile. "Maybe there is some hope" she thought.

"I do want my pound of flesh so to speak, but I don't want to end up a bitter and hateful person. BE isn't a child and he is responsible for what he's done, but I have no interest in spending my time and effort in destroying his life. He should feel some deep pain, but I know how seductive Tess can be and I know, even if he instigated it, she never stopped him and probably encouraged him." Today I hate her, and I love her. I want her to feel the pain I'm in. I want her to experience betrayal and hopelessness like she's brought into my life."

"At the same time this child needs a fully functioning mother. He didn't do anything to deserve any of this. He needs a fighting chance at a good life. It will be tough enough on him as it is, I don't want to compound his challenges." Shit, I don't know what to do."

"And that, my new friend, is a step in the right direction. You don't have to solve it all today or even tomorrow. What you HAVE solved today is you're not sure what to do. That is enough for today. Might I suggest you drive back to Clarksville, pardon the hell out of me, by the way for not knowing the name of your little town, and try to make one more decision. Take one more step before you get there. Maybe your next decision will be to get good advice from your dad. From what I've heard you say tonight, he is a very wise man. Something along those lines will be good progress for the next day."

"What I'm trying to say, is I believe this is an unbelievably hard process of elimination. But every time you know you want to do or not do something you're moving in the right direction. You may end up deciding you don't want to be married to Tess anymore and that will be OK, if you think carefully about what is best."

At this point she reached out and took both his hands. He was surprised but didn't pull back. "Today you know you want her son to have a chance at a good life and you don't want to spend energy crucifying BE. That is enough. Now begin the rest of your journey by finishing your wine, getting a good night's sleep and then tackle tomorrow when you wake up. I hardly know you at all, but I can tell things about people. I warned both Cindy and Bennett I knew they were going to end up in bed together if they weren't careful more than a month before it happened. I have good intuition, and my intuition tells me you're a man of character and you have some good people in your life. It hurts like hell now, but I know you can get through this."

She then leaned in, kissed him on the cheek, got up and walked out. As she left, she turned around with a grin and said in a mock southern drawl, "If I'm ever in Clarksville, I'll look you up!"

The next day at work Lori called a friend who worked for the FBI.

"Jules, I need a favor friend"

"Hope it is nothing illegal Lori. I'm grateful for the discount you gave me on my wedding venue but not that grateful"

"Well, maybe just a little. I need a cell phone number of a woman in Clarksville, Tennessee named Tess Vandermoss."

"Why?"

"Probably better you don't know, but I promise, that part of the equation is more than legal, it is fair!"

An hour later she had the number and was dialing it with a smirk on her face. A woman with a tired voice answered.

"Hello, is this Tess?"

"Yes, to whom am I speaking?" She replied.

"My name isn't important but since you have my cell number, I guess you could track it down. My name is Lori and last night I met an amazingly handsome and wonderful man named Drew Vandermoss. He must be one of the sexiest men I've ever met." Lori heard a gasp on the other end.

"We met at a restaurant in Austin, Texas and hit it off immediately. I could tell he was profoundly hurt even before we got to talking. But when he did begin to share, what a tale he had to tell. He spoke of his drop dead gorgeous wife, a high school math teacher with a sex drive that won't quit. My new and very dear friend Drew also told me she opened her legs like a slut for some young stud 12 years her junior. He said she had tossed him aside for some hot fucking. He also told me how he found out, when his wife gave birth to the child of her young fuck stud." She could now hear crying on the other end, but she was just getting warmed up.

"Well, the more he talked the more despondent he became. I just hated to see him in such a state, even though I'd only just met him yesterday. You know how those deep penetrating blue eyes can work magic on a girl... Anyway, I couldn't leave him in that condition so I did what you should have been doing all along with only him. I took him home and fucked his brains out! We fucked in my car, we fucked on my patio, on my couch and eventually in my bed all night long. I lost track of how many orgasms I had and I'm pretty sure I won't walk straight for about a week! Oh my goodness what a cock, and he knows how to use it!"

"He was amazing, just in case you have forgotten. I begged him to stay with me and I was as persuasive as I could possibly be. By the way, I can be incredibly persuasive. He's out getting us coffee now and I'm going to slip into my upstairs maid outfit before he comes back. I seem to recall him saying something about that little fetish last night."

"So, Tess, sweetie, I just want to thank you for throwing him away; for spreading your slutty legs and throwing your marriage away. Don't be surprised if you never hear from him again!"

Through her sobs Tess began to rage against this evil, terrible person. "How the fuck could you? You cruel whore! My husband is suffering awfully, and you took advantage of him! He was vulnerable and you played on that to get laid! You fucking slut, you better hope I never find you because I'll beat the shit out of you and leave you for dead! How could you do such a thing to such an amazing man like my Drew?"

She chocked up and couldn't continue so Lori took the opportunity to jump back in.

"Tess, I'll let you in on a little secret. I never touched your husband. Well, that's not technically true. Right before the end of our dinner I held his hands for about a minute and gave him a small peck on the cheek."

"What I did for about three hours was listen to a broken man wrestling with his hatred and love for you. You crushed his heart, but he is still holding his head up. He's going to try and figure out how to put his life back together. I have no idea if it will be with you or without you. My personal opinion is, he could do a hell of a lot better. If he does dump you and returns to Austin, you can believe me, I will invite him to my home and see where it goes from there. He's a better man than you deserve Tess, but you may still end up with him anyway."

"Last night he told me he just couldn't bring himself to be vindictive against you. That is how fucking strong he is! But I decided somebody needed to give you some pain, so I took it upon myself to do so. Drew never touched me, beyond our brief handholding. The thought never entered his mind. He has too much character for that. But I wanted you to know some small sample of the hurt you put him through. So, if he comes back and if he opens the door for healing, forgiveness, and a new start, you better fucking remember how you felt for the last couple of minutes. Remember your complete and utter anger and despair. If you get a second chance bitch, you better not fuck it up!"

There was a brief pause before Tess quietly said, "Thank you" and hung up the phone.

Two days later Drew wasn't feeling much better as he saw the Clarksville city limit sign, but his head was clear. He'd spent the better part of six hours on the phone with his dad during the drive, and he knew he wanted to confront Tess with honesty, his anger and some small bit of hope. It would be a long road, and it may end in divorce, that was OK. But it would be his road, and in some way, Tess's as well. He didn't have answers, but he did have the beginnings of a way forward.

He chuckled to himself. He knew only one thing for certain. When he told Mitch, he knew his reply would be, "I donno boss." He then hit the speed dial for Tess's number.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep.

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep

Robert Frost

PS Hope those of you who read my first story connected the dots back to Lori. For others, if you are curious, read my first work, "Paying the Piper"