All Comments on 'Claudia - Becoming a White Slave Ch. 01'

I have no problem with the subject and story, just the atrocious writing style and grammar.

I agree with the first comment. I couldn't even make it to the end of the first paragraph.

Hi, I like your story and the idea behind it. And I'm looking forward to the next parts. But the writing could be definitely improved as the other comments already suggest. And you also rushed over some parts (especially the erotic sequence at the end), that could have needed more love and detail.

Hallo Dunn81!

Well, I like the subject-matter very much, and I can see there is a story, that is waiting to be told,,, and I am waiting to read it! .... Maybe in chapter 2,,, yes?

5-Stars, for the effort, and for the story, I'm hoping to read, in chapter 2..

Gay Kat.

Unfortunately this is completely unreadable to me. It looks like you pulled this text through some online translator. Please...if you want people to read your stories....remember it is not only about the story, but also about the use of language.

Keep trying :)

Some people REALLY loves my stories and understand them. My first language is french so yes i'm going to make mistakes sometimes. If you can't read it, you can't read it but theres tons of other writers here. It's all free so it's not like you pay for it and you're mad. I want to be better obviously cause it would add to the stories a lot but right now i'm trying to get better at this by myself and i'm not writing often so it's tougher.

Hey this story is beautiful and I want you to write about a white girl gangbanged by 6 black queens will you please??