Close Observation Ch. 12

They stayed there until the pub closed. Back at the house in Belgravia, they agreed that Ron would come back at twelve the next day, and that he would take them to Kings Cross station. They wanted to see a station platform from a Harry Potter film. They were all fans of Harry Potter. Ron hadn't seen the film but said he would try to help them find the platform.

He rang Katie and asked if she still needed him. She said that she did. She asked him to come to her place. He said he was flattered but that she was his boss. She said it wasn't like that, he could sleep on the settee, she just didn't want to be alone. Ron said he'd go. He had to go by tube from Westminster to Stepney Green, which seemed to take hours.

***

Katie opened the door and let him in. She'd been crying.

'You don't look like you're feeling good,' said Ron.

'I'm not,' said Katie.

'What's been going on?' asked Ron.

'I didn't have any coke all day, but I felt like crap and I had some. I had a line just before I rang you.

'Are you upset because you had some coke?' asked Ron.

'No. Well, yeah. I'm fucking upset about everything,' said Katie.

Katie sat on the settee in her front room. Ron thought the room was cosy.

'Ok to sit down?' he asked.

'Yeah,' said Katie. Ron thought she looked depressed.

'Ok, so what's happened?' asked Ron.

'I rang Marie, last night. I'd had a drink,' said Katie.

'Ah,' said Ron.

'I asked her if she wanted to come over. I said nothing serious, just for some fun. She said she was with someone... and that didn't feel good, and I know she's started seeing a guy and she's really into him, she thinks she's falling for him. So then I rang Layla up and asked Layla if she wanted to come and fuck me, or I said I could go to her, and she said she had someone over, and I could fucking hear Marie in the background. And Marie was saying, do you think she's alright? I'm so embarrassed, Ron,' said Katie.

'Don't worry about that... You're going through it a bit, aren't you?' said Ron.

'Yes,' said Katie.

'Don't worry about Layla and Marie, they'll be worried about you but no one's going to be laughing at you or anything like that,' said Ron.

'I felt really desperate and sad!' said Katie. 'I woke up this morning and I thought, I've got to get off this fucking stuff, and I've got to sort myself out, and I didn't even last a day,' said Katie.

'I don't know. If it was me, I wouldn't try and get off a drug on my own. I'd get some help with it,' said Ron.

'I can't afford it. I'm spending so much on coke that I can't afford to get help to come off coke,' she said.

'Nah, there'll be free ones, NHS or whatever. I'll find out about that for you, and we'll get the ball rolling. I'll come with you if you need me to,' said Ron.

'Thank you. Yusef and the guys are coming over again. They want to fuck my arse. I'm not going to be able to turn the money down,' said Katie.

'So don't turn it down. What is it, fifteen grand? I'd fucking judge if you didn't go for that. What's that, one night's work?' said Ron.

'I told myself I wasn't going to do it anymore. I told my dad,' said Katie. She started crying. She was sobbing. Ron put his arm round her. She hugged him, holding him tight. She buried her face against his neck and cried on his shoulder. Ron imagined the conversation with her dad.

'Sorry I said that about Marie's boyfriend,' said Katie, tearfully.

'What, why are you sorry?' asked Ron.

'I know you like her too,' said Katie.

Katie kept crying for a long time, and Ron held her.

***

Ron slept in a spare room. In the morning, Katie seemed brighter for having slept. Ron told her he'd find out about what support was available. The tube journey seemed to take hours again, but he thought it was probably quicker than driving. When he came out of Pimlico station, he rang Marie.

'Hello?' said Marie.

'Marie, it's Ron,' he said.

'Hi Ron,' said Marie. Ron thought she sounded wary.

'Are you in work?' asked Ron.

'No, I'm at home, I'm having a study day,' said Marie.

'Oh, ok. Are you working at all today, you know, the other thing? I was hoping to have a chat with you,' said Ron.

'I haven't heard anything; I might have something later. Is everything ok?' said Marie.

'Yeah, it's fine,' said Ron.

'If you're not feeling right, you can ring the team and speak to the duty worker. Do you want the number?' asked Marie.

'No, I'm fine. Ok, I'll maybe see you later then,' said Ron.

'Ok. See you. You're sure you're ok? Nothing else has...' said Marie.

'No, I'm fine. Speak to you soon,' said Ron.

'Ok, bye,' said Marie.

Ron drove to a florist. The shop was in South Kensington. He asked the man behind the counter what flowers he should buy to say sorry to a woman. The man laughed. He recommended a bouquet made up of orchids, carnations, tulips and roses. Ron said that that sounded good and asked how much it would cost. When the man told him how much it would be, Ron thought that he was a thieving bastard. He still paid for the bouquet. The man said it would be ready within an hour.

When Ron went back, he thought the bouquet looked marvellous. He drove to Lambeth North, to Marie's place. He parked outside her building and walked up to her flat. He was looking forward to her opening the door and seeing the flowers. He wanted to see her face. He wanted to apologise, and for them to be mates again. He thought he probably couldn't ever get her, but he wanted to be as close to her as he could be.

Tarquin answered the door. Tarquin from the student orgy. He was in bare feet and he looked like he'd just pulled his trousers and t-shirt on to get the door. He looked like he'd just got out of Marie's bed to get the door. Ron assumed that Tarquin was the new boyfriend who Marie was falling in love with, the one with the massive cock. Ron was standing on the doorstep with a bouquet of flowers for Marie, and her boyfriend was standing in front of him, looking at Ron and looking at the flowers. Ron felt embarrassed.

'Hi, is it Ron?' asked Tarquin.

'It is indeed. Tarquin right, is Marie about at all? I needed to apologise for something,' said Ron. He felt he needed to say that, he couldn't have Tarquin thinking he'd come around to try to woo Marie with his flowers.

'Oh wow. Ok, I'll get her,' said Tarquin. Do you want to come in?'

Ron stepped inside. He waited in the hallway. Ron was a large man, and with the bouquet of flowers, it was a bit cramped in the narrow passage. He felt embarrassed and awkward. He wished he hadn't come.

'Ron?' said Marie. She was in her dressing gown; her feet were bare.

'Marie,' said Ron. He wanted the ground to swallow him up.

'Oh my God! Are they for me?' asked Marie. She looked shocked and a bit worried.

'They are indeed. I was hoping we could have a conversation,' said Ron. Marie thought for a second.

'Yeah, come through,' said Marie. He followed her into her lounge. There were textbooks and A4 pads and pieces of paper everywhere. Ron shut the door behind them.

'I'm so sorry about the mess!' said Marie.

'That's alright, don't worry,' said Ron. She was clearing papers off of her settee.

'Do you want to sit down, Ron?' asked Marie.

'No, no, no, I'm not going to keep you. I wanted to say sorry for what I said to you in the bar,' said Ron.

'Oh, there's no need Ron, really. I'm sorry I made you feel like that,' said Marie.

'Nah, I don't want you thinking that. What you did, what you did when the thing in the car happened, that was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me, by a mile. It felt beautiful, and I love you for doing it. I think you're beautiful, inside and outside. I've just said that to you in the bar, because I've always wanted you to respect me, and I was ashamed, and I thought you couldn't respect me anymore, and it made me angry with my fucking self, and I took it out on you. So I'm sorry, and I bought you these flowers. The bloke in the shop said they were the right ones,' said Ron. He realised his eyes were watering. Her eyes were watering too. She took the flowers off of him and laid them on the settee on top of some papers. She hugged him, and she kissed him again on his cheek, the same way she had in the car when she was sat in his urine-soaked lap. It felt more beautiful to Ron than anything else could ever feel.

'Course I respect you,' she whispered. 'How could I not respect you?' She pressed the side of her face against his. They held each other. She was crying. He rubbed her back and the tops of her shoulders. He thought that if this was as close as he ever got to her, emotionally, it would do.