Confessions and Consequences

Those commenters who break it all down to "is she better off with or without her" miss the real point. You cannot know the future, so have to take a projected future of a relationship based on trust. This wife made no real attempted assurances, except "I ended it", casually blew off his reaction, and implied an open marriage going forward. How is that trust in holding up her end of the marriage? Not. Unless he accepted her implicit offer that he accept his role as one of several lovers going forward. Why marry or stay married in that case? And her next 'husband' apparently liked her open marriage attitude and was okay with it, which confirmed his worries. One selfish bitch frankly. I have never bought the argument that a spouse in a committed relationship like a marriage really loves one primary person, but also wants to share physical intimacy with others as well. How is one committed in such a case? You aren't.

Wife was never contrite … and obviously didn’t deeply love her husband. The husband unfortunately didn’t seek professional help before launching the divorce. A few sessions of counseling before divorce may helped him find closure and move on. She gutted him.

The tenor of Cagivagurl's stories have changed in the last year or two. I think for the better. Regarding this one, I don't agree with the POV, but it's a short story well told. I would say the ease of which she conducted her affair, then casually confessed, and basically said "no harm, no foul" indicated that marriage was already over for her emotionally. For her, continuation was basically, "oops, I goofed" out of calculated self-indulgence rather than do the hard work of communicating dissatisfaction in the marriage. But 'honey', just accept it. and we can go forward if you indulge me. No contrition, no restitution. Forgiveness and reconciling requires a partner to sincerely make such moves. The character portrayed here did not really.

Was the husband a stick-in-the-mud? Yes. Was the marriage become dysfunctional? Yes. But the manner of her taking the cowardly option was too dismissive for that marriage to continue. He knew it emotionally too, but just refused to admit it to himself. It's not too much pride to take umbrage at being treated so dismissively. And the answer to "am I better with or without her" had more to do with his emotional difficulty of moving on than her intrinsic worth. Her idea of marriage continuation implicitly sounded like an open marriage. His mistake was holding on to a dysfunctional fantasy of marital life, and nursing the outrage of betrayal rather than simply letting go, recentering himself again, and finding another mature partner who valued the same thing. The first wife simply didn't. She just gave up on the marriage and pulled the plug first, which is why she got over it much easier.

You always have to ask, “am I better of without her (or him) than with them”? Good story, and while some may disagree, you had the only ending possible.

This story needs a better ending.