Connor and Me Ch. 02

How can a man explain the feeling of his ejaculation? It's not difficult in the beginning. There is a general rush of tingling that quickly flows down the body, followed by a definite understanding that the storage tanks that hold his semen and fluids begin to open; and empty their contents into his stream. The tubes that carry the flow can be felt, as they stretch to accommodate the liquid. His balls tighten in their sack. There is the slightest, yet still definite feeling of a swelling of his penis...of it getting thicker and longer, too. Then events are almost too quick to separate out.

As fluid reaches the base of the cock, it triggers the mind to accept the inevitable - that ejaculation is a nano second away. As his seed flows up the length of the organ, he braces for the moment when it reaches the inner tip. There must be some kind of instantaneous signal to the brain as the liquid first touches the inside of that door to the outer world. There is a momentary clenching of the crotch, as if to try and prevent the eruption. How futile. The piss slit seems to narrow as if in a last attempt to stem the flow through its sensitive passage.

Perhaps it is the knowing of the brief agony of that moment that forces a man to try and prevent it. It is a pain laced with the most indescribable pleasure in the universe. At that point, all thought turns to expelling as much pent-up man cream as possible. He revels in feeling rope after agonizing rope flow through his penis and past his cockhead. If the cum lands on his belly, or on the flesh of a lover, he begins to ponder its path; to feel the wetness, and to think of where it is flowing to. If he is within the body of a lover, primal thoughts of completion of his lifes' purpose as a man fill his brain with wondrous chemical delight. As his chest heaves to take in enough oxygen for the effort, the rate of breathing begins to return to normal. Then comes a moment of drifting. No thoughts. No plans. Just drifting. How wondrous. How wonderful.

"You back yet? Paddy?" He always has this slightly frightened look on his face just after I cum. He knows that the 'little death' as it is called is a time between life and something else. I shake my head to assure him, though words are not yet possible.

"I feel it, baby. Our baby. I know this is it." Hope so. That's all I can get out.

I slowly and very gently lay my exhausted body down onto the warmth of my husband. His arms embrace me tenderly, and I start to sob. I feel his kiss on my head.

"Oh, Paddy. It's okay. Let it go. We're together. You're safe."

The moment my rocket countdown reached "1", and I felt myself fall into pumping mode, my body and mind seemed to surge with a desire to purge myself of all past pain and sorrow. As I emptied myself into Connor, I also emptied my baggage of the past. It was an effort that brought me to the brink of a sort of boundary. I felt myself move from one form to another. My life, and Connors, would never be the same. It must have shown on my face. My body surged with life.

"Paddy?" Connor. My smile comforts him. He stops looking worried. I feel great, babe. What do you think our chances are?

"From the way you went at it, I'd say twins!" Baby bearers always know.

The day of our first 'pictures' confirm what Connor had said - we are going to have twins! Twin boys to be exact. Come to find out that twins run in his family. Joshua and Joseph would be born two minutes apart, healthy and kicking like mules. We decide to never say which was born first, to keep rivalries down, but eventually they will see their birth certificates. Joshua is the eldest. They are fraternal; and both as cute as can be in their own individual ways. They sleep together; and seem to enjoy every bit of closeness they can get. Our boys have started their lives with the love of Connor and me; and of the twin they came into this world with.

(several months earlier...)

"Damn it, Patrick. I had no idea this would be so rough." Let me help...

"No. I just have to... I said NO! Get away from me! Oh God. No. Paddy. PADDY!"

It all came rushing back. Every emotion. Every moment of rejection. Every bit of fear. I sank into the drivers seat and found myself careening through the neighborhood, barely able to see through cascading tears. I had no idea where I was going. It did not matter. When I narrowly missed a kid on his bike, I pulled off to the side of the road and knew what I had to do. The past was over. This was only situational. I had dealt with things like this before. No panic attack would bring me down now. My mind went into a different gear, I relaxed every muscle in my body, and the sobbing stopped. It was not blocked. It was deemed no longer necessary.

"Hello?" Hi. "Paddy. I am so sorry. It was just..." It's okay, Connie. I'm at the home center store to get you something that will help. "Oh, Paddy." Hey - no tears! See you soon.

My mental state has improved light-years better than it was before I met Connor. No way will I let myself regress. He did not mean to hurt me. He knows that he did. He did not mean to. That is a big difference. In my past, people either did not know how much I was hurt, or they did not care enough to know. This was different.

I hardly get in the door, when Connor rushes at me, and pushes his swollen belly into me in a great big kissy bear hug. I smile at him, and drag in the large box that I had left out on the porch.

"What?..." It's one of those self-rising chairs. You know that old commercial: 'Mother, please...I'd rather do it myself!'... where the feelings get hurt despite good intentions? I know you would never hurt me intentionally, but you did out of discomfort and frustration. This should help.

"P. J. Baker. Will you never stop being good to me?" Never, Connor Baker. Never.

(five years later)

"Daddy, Joey won't let me ride his bike! I told Poppy and he told me to see you." I pick up my son, wipe away a tear, and kiss his cheek. We go to where Joey is playing with Josh's toys. The lesson on sharing is listened to intently by both boys. Without saying a word, Joey gets up and gives his brother a big hug - something they have been doing since they could talk. It's a cultural thing. Connor and I both come from touchy-feely families, and our boys are unabashedly affectionate.

"Can I have my own bike again, Daddy?" Sure. We'll replace the broken one next week. Joey chimes in: "We can share until then, Daddy!" I scoop up my sons and slather them with kisses, as they squirm and giggle like the energetic boys they are.

I have read that life gets better...if we work at it, that is. I've gone from a lonely and dejected man, to a happy husband, and parent of two wonderful boys. My mate and I are blessed in this life, and we intend to share our time together for as long as is possible. My regrets are all gone, now. I have love and companionship to thank for my transformation. I also thank the mindset that let me love Connor for the man he is, completely and unconditionally.

"It's time, Paddy!" The car is all set, Connie. I help my spouse into the passenger seat and strap him in, using the special safety harness I bought. We have a room waiting for us. This one is going to be a girl!

The End