All Comments on 'Converting The Feminist Ch. 03'

So far a very intriguing story. Technically it is well written and flows smoothly. The content is has kept me enraptured with every word. I would love to see how it continues. I think her husband/master should have noticed and then punished her for failing to wear her tights. I prefer less forceful stories but don't wish to dissuade you in any way. After all I'm merely a spectator and it's your story.

things are getting more and more outrageous, he is hurting her way too much, and apparently this whole shtick about un-feminist-ing her is just a facade for a slaver's perversion, but the worst thing is her own behavior, why on earth would she have any good feelings left for him after the way he's treated her, and why, after this last scene, would she say that she would rather be his wife than a kidnapped slave, but what I don't get is why she doesn't think of other options, e.g. knifing him in the balls and calling the police or something like that? PLEASE don't let her get broken and submissive, please don't let him get any sort of a happy ending, please let her get revenge on their whole lot and come out of this even more feminist, I am really concerned with the glimpses of where she's leaning sometimes...

At least hold them to be true and honest to their persona.

Example...she uses the word cute often, she squeaks when scared, she likes winky faces...and that’s just this chapter. So she’s a girl. Yes a woman’s age, body, and maybe spirit...but she’s psychology a girl. So why would you write “the two men laughed as the rivers of salted water continued to drain from my eyes” as the inner monologue for a girl whose greatest pleasure in life is her plushie toy? I’m trying to think of any character similar to yours that could use this line and the best I have is Scarlet O’Hara. And even she couldn’t think those words without laughing out loud.

Don’t just write emotive words, deep metaphors, and cryptic similes simply to show the range of your talents. Especially if using these tools disassociates your readers from your characters. Somewhere along the way you are going to want the readers to bond with them and become vested in the story and their fate. Things like this make that connection harder to build.

Also how and when did she get those panties on? See...just another thing for readers to think about that detract from their focus on your plot lines and story arcs.

Firstly, to everyone that has commented about this being not true Dom/sub relations, you're right. You're absolutely right, this is not healthy, safe, sane or consensual. That is the point of non consensual. If this story hurts your in any way, I beg of you not to read them.

Next, LostnFoundBin, you are probably my favorite reader as of late. You give me some good criticism on things that have nothing to do with the aforementioned paragraph. I'm not sure if you check you email but I messaged you through the site some time ago, asking you for more feedback on my stories because, Your criticism is actually helping. And while this story isn't clearly not my best work in the eyes of many, I'm hoping you could check at the other stories that are so.... disturbed, and tell me if the same issues are present or even issues that weren't in this series. If not, I completely understand and I appreciate telling me things that you find. I am taking these things into consideration when writing future pieces.

I have to say that while I like other writings by this author this story does nothing for me and only shows how little the author knows about the world of D/s. This guy Blake sounds like a real dirt bag and dangerous. There is a rule in the D/s communities that "YOU NEVER TOP WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY" and Blake is angry and beyond angry. He was mad because he wasn't getting the adoration he felt he was owed by his Wife and he was even more angry because his friend called him out for things he had done and for lying to the group he is in. While I like the authors writings I think he needs to stay with what he knows and can write well.

so glad i found this.