All Comments on 'Cool Summer Hike'

It’s quite jarring to shift instantly from Joey’s point of view to that of a third person observer. Choose a point of view and stick with it.

Wouldn't be too bad except the jumping back and forth from first to third person

Numerous spelling mistakes and the arbitrary switches between first and third person narrator make this hard to read.

kept jumping from first person to third and average

Not going to beat the dead horse about switching voice. I do recommend finding someone to help with editing, and take notes on what they correct. Fun little story; keep writing & keep learning!

Have a friend edit, please. The spelling, punctuation, and 1st to 3rd person perspective bouncing detracts from a great story