All Comments on 'Corkscrew'

by delectable30

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AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Continuity...?

I like your story and I get the idea, I think, but I'm lost in who is who and where. Maybe give it an edit from the perspective of someone who is looking at it with fresh eyes - it has potential it just kind of gets lost in its clarity at the middle: I didn't know who was fucking whom nor who was in the kitchen.

All it needs is an editing tweak though!

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