All Comments on 'Creation's Guardian Ch. 14'

If those women can't be brought back to life made they can be reborn and when they reach 18 they seek out someone that can help them return to his side.

Will Sue's passenger come out.

I was sorry to hear about your troubles. I have waited to comment, thinking you had more pressing issues to handle. Please take care of you and yours first. We can wait for your awesome stories and send positive thoughts and prayers your way. Thanks for sharing your talent with us all. JT

WWW.patreon.com/bob54z

I've noticed that over time you have diversified your choice of single-adjective descriptions from just 'scrumptious' to sometimes include 'succelent', 'luscious', and a couple of others, but it is still as if you must choose an adjective that is no less than 8 characters long or you feel like you have failed some important test.

In addition to the large single-adjective descriptions, any time you use smaller descriptive words, it is like you haven't done your duty unless you've strung together at least four. Every single pussy in the story is 'satin-slick', tight', 'soaked', and 'hot'. I understand that your average virgin pussy is gonna be tight, all vaginas feel hot and satiny with proper lubrication, and I know Bob somehow causes every woman he is near to cream her (lack of?) panties, but that is no reason to feel obligated to tell us every single pussy he dips his wick in feels the same. You can get by with 'hot, wet pussy' once, then exclaim how 'tight' she feels the second time you refer to her cunt. If you take the time to spread out adjectives over the multitude of times a body part is referred to in each sex scene, your readers will feel less worn out and will be much more interested in those scenes. Otherwise it all feels boring and recycled, even if the scenes play out differently.

One more thing to bring up is that Bob's orgasms might as well be copied and pasted. He always goes off when the woman's orgasm causes her pussy to grip his cock, and he always shoots 'spurt after spurt' of cum into whichever orifice he is enjoying. Don't get me wrong, hearing about ropes of cum being shot into a pussy is actually one of my biggest turn-ons, but 'spurt after spurt' 40+ times over 15 chapters means that I have lost any faith in seeing an interesting or sexy lovemaking scene ever coming from you in the future. That's not to say I don't enjoy this story, it is just to say that I haven't been reading for the sex since, like, chapter 3 or 4.

I'm not going to claim that I could write a better sex scene, because I'm sure I couldn't, but if you ever want someone to look over what you have written and suggest changes to you word choices, I'd be happy to help. I love the story a lot, regardless of what I have pointed out, and your grammar and spelling are pretty good (good enough that I'm not tempted to offer to be your copy editor, which is exceedingly rare for me when I find a story I like), so I really hope you will either continue your work on this or write a good ending for it.

Thanks!

This is a marvelous fantasy adventure story, supplemented with some lovely romantic interludes, adding up to a truly memorable reading experience. Five stars.

Bob, sorry mate but your sex life must be as boring as hell and that “horse cock”? Really?

So it’s sex in pussy, then arse then they give him a blow job, every girl, every time.

Most kicking their own legs out after 1-2” of the “horse cock” gets inserted.

Never sucked nipples or pussy? Never actually giving pleasure because, of course, being ploughed by a baseball bat, every woman’s fantasy.

Cut out the sex and just get on with the story