Crossing the Mountain

She was forever grateful for her large family.

*** 4 ***

After the writers group Alison was invited to attend a small get together with four other ladies from the group. They were sitting in an isolated corner of a locally owned coffee shop. One of these ladies was her friend Madison. She was a year older than Alison. She had long dark hair, was in shape, and was looking to settle down. Alison assumed she would settle down with Cameron. Another woman sitting at the large square table was Rose. She was blond, in her early forties, married, and had a couple grown children. Cheryl the facilitator was attending this get together. The only reason she was on her second marriage was her first husband died of cancer. She had a grown daughter from the first marriage and a twelve year old boy from her second marriage. The fourth and final member of this group was Stacy. She was a brunette with long hair. She just graduated college and had little interest in settling down.

Alison took a sip of her strawberry flavored smoothie. She appreciated both the praise and criticism of her story. She especially liked answering questions about competing and her family. The ladies were engaging in a variety of conversation until Madison focused the discussion.

Madison blurted out, "I broke it off with Cameron."

The ladies were surprised by this. Everyone had felt she finally found a guy for her. They expressed their remorse.

Then the curiosity set in.

Cheryl asked, "Why did you break it off? He seemed like a great guy?"

Madison leaned in and whispered, "He has a small cock."

Rose asked, "It's the only reason you broke it off?"

Stacy jumped in right away, "I don't blame her."

Rose sighed, rolled her eyes, and asked; "Why?"

Stacy answered, "Nothing is worse than a small dick."

Stacy turned to Madison, "You did the right thing."

Rose answered, "This isn't always true. Sometimes a guy with a small penis is better than a large one."

The four ladies looked at her.

Alison was paying close attention. She hoped these ladies would discuss their sexual experiences.

Stacy commented, "You have to be joking? Right?"

"No. I'm not."

Again they stared at her.

Rose answered, "A guy can't help what he was given."

Madison answered, "I thought it didn't matter. But it does. At least for me."

Cheryl mentioned, "In my college days. One of the worst sexual experiences was with a small cocked guy. He was afraid to show it to me and would stop me from touching it. I had to beg to see it. He cried when he showed it to me. I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't feel anything."

Stacy made a face and said, "Ewe. This is why I avoid guys who are smaller."

Rose commented, "Not all small guys lack confidence."

Alison was interested in what Rose had to say.

Cheryl asked, "Did Cameron have confidence?"

Madison answered, "He wasn't like the guy you just described. He told me ahead of time."

Stacy rolled her eyes and commented, "Why would a guy admit to being smaller?"

Rose was again annoyed at Stacy.

Rose trying to encourage Madison admitted, "I appreciated it when my husband told me."

They all looked at her.

Alison out of general curiosity asked, "Was he embarrassed? I've read guys with smaller members lack confidence and need reassurance. Did you have to reassure him?"

Rose answered Alison's honest question. "At first I was surprised he told me. After thinking about it I found it reassuring. I believe I would have acted oddly if he hadn't told me."

Stacy and Madison looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders.

Rose continued, "Until we see it. Or unless they tell us. Its almost impossible to know if a guy is big or small."

Stacy refuted this, "There's ways to tell."

Rose gave Stacy an annoyed glance.

The glare from Cheryl caused Stacy to reframe from proceeding. Instead; Stacy took a sip of her cappuccino.

Rose took a sip of her coffee and added, "Like I was saying. Until we see it, it's difficult for us to truly know how big it is. Like I mentioned before. I was surprised he told me. After thinking about it I came to the conclusion he really liked me. What guy confesses he's small unless he likes them?"

Stacy answered, "Someone who doesn't want to get laid?"

Rose gave her another glare and stated with gusto, "The reason I slept with him is because he told me."

Stacy commented, "That was noble."

Cheryl again glared at Stacy.

Stacy shrugged her shoulders.

Alison in a sincere tone asked, "How was it? Was it good? I've read different things."

"It was the best sex I ever had."

Stacy rolled her eyes, "You have to be kidding. Right?"

Rose answered, "I went back because it was the best foreplay I ever experienced."

Madison piped up and said, "Foreplay isn't everything."

Cheryl mentioned, "Lack of foreplay is a deal breaker for me."

Rose answered, "I never knew sex could be so thrilling. The power of his tongue and the delight of his fingers kept me coming back. He truly had magic hands. I appreciated his communication and his willingness to listen."

Madison mentioned, "What about the full Feeling? I mean. Who wants sex without it?"

Rose answered honestly, "It took us a while to find the positions that worked but it was worth it. I often times have an orgasm with him inside of me. This was not always my experience with other guys."

Madison sighed, "I like what I like."

Alison asked, "Why not try different positions?"

Madison gave a face, "Why?"

Alison proposed, "I've read. Some positions are better for different sizes. Go online and look up positions for a small cocks. You could even show him positions you'd like to try."

Madison answered, "Why would I go to all that trouble? If he was bigger I wouldn't have to look up anything. I like what I like."

Cheryl felt compelled to ask her again, "Don't you want a variety?"

Madison made a face, "Why?"

Rose countered, "Isn't variety the spice of life?"

Defensive Madison answered, "Cone on. We all know a big dick is better than a small one. I'm not wasting my time trying different positions."

Alison wondered, "Was he good at other things?"

They all stared at Madison.

"Like what?"

Alison answered, "Like Rose mentioned. Was he good with his tongue? Did he try to get you off?"

Madison sighed.

They all stared at her.

Madison answered the stares, "I just don't understand why women fuss over oral sex."

Cheryl looked at her, "For me it's better than sex."

Madison answered, "I know. I'm the exception. I find it embarrassing. Not to mention annoying. To be honest I can't understand why a guy would do it."

Cheryl interjected, "I firmly believe a key to sex is for both partners to learn. It's especially important for a guy to be willing to listen."

Immediately Alison stated, "I wish I would have communicated better with Dale. Not that he would have listened. Maybe if I communicated better sex wouldn't have become routine. I wish I would have expressed my desires better."

Rose added, "Communication is important to us. The way my husband treats me makes up for his lack of size."

Madison said, "I just can't do it any more."

Cheryl commented, "A guy is more than a cock."

Stacy annoyed asked, "What does a big cock lack?"

Rose asked, "You've never had the experience of a guy try jamming it in? Or pounding you like it's a jackhammer?"

Stacy answered, "No pain no gain."

Cheryl asked, "Who are you having sex with?"

Stacy answered, "Real men."

Cheryl answered out of concern, "Even a guy with a big penis has to know how to use it."

Alison thought of countless times sex hurt.

Stacy answered, "Sure."

Cheryl annoyed answered, "My first husband had an eight inch cock. There is no way I would have sex without being ready."

Stacy commented, "I bet you liked it."

Madison in a nicer tone asked, "You had to have liked it?"

Cheryl answered, "I'm not going to lie. There were times I looked forward to mounting it"

Stacy jumped in, "See."

Cheryl glared, "Other times I avoided sex because I knew I wasn't ready. I had to prepare myself mentally to have sex with him. Giving him oral was completely out of the question."

Rose added, "Oral is much better with a smaller guy."

After reading many true life experiences on the internet. Alison found many women who expressed the same thing. In the book that discussed pleasing a man, a women who enjoyed giving oral, mentioned how she liked smaller cocks over larger ones.

Madison cringed and replied, "I don't know why anyone would perform oral sex. I for one will never suck on a dick. No matter what the size."

Alison asked, "What type of foreplay do you like?"

Defensive, "I like foreplay."

Alison asked again, "What type?"

Madison answered, "I don't need long sessions. Just get me wet. I want to get off. Then move on with my life."

Cheryl had to ask, "Have you ever had great sex?"

Madison ignored the question and stated, "Cameron is a great guy. If he wasn't I wouldn't have had sex with him. I need someone bigger."

Alison sincerely asked, "Even though he wants to work it out?"

Stacy answered, "What's there to work out?"

Alison answered, "I believe if both people are willing to address an issue they'll get through it. I'm impressed he'd work with you."

Stacy rolled her eyes.

Rose felt she would regret asking but asked anyway, "Why the eye roll."

"Seriously?"

Rose answered, "Yes."

Stacy sighed then answered, "You just can't fix a small cock."

Stacy again rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee.

The rest waited.

She continued ending the silence, "I can't believe we're having this discussion. I completely understand why Madison would break up with him."

Cheryl answered, "My first husband was bigger than my second husband and I'd take the second one over the first,"

Stacy made a face, "Sure."

Rose answered, "It comes down to the person. I was with both small and big before I was married. The best sex I've had is with my husband. Who is smaller."

Madison answered, "I just can't."

Alison was trying to encourage Madison by repeating herself, "We've all met him. I'm sure if you talk to him you could work it out. I wish I would have talked to Dale instead of just believing he knew what I needed."

Madison leaned in and said, "It's just not his size."

This caused all the ladies to lean into the table.

Madison answered, "He's kinky."

They all looked at one another.

Alison thought about the list of kinks mentioned in the book she read. She wondered which ones Cameron liked. She thought of the ones she would be willing to try and the ones she hoped a guy would never ask about. If a guy asked about these kinks she felt she could properly address it.

Rose sincerely asked, "What do you mean by kinky?"

Cheryl added, "There are many levels of kink."

Alison mentioned, "There are lists of kinks. Most people have them. Even if they want to admit to them or not."

Madison gave her a look, "I don't believe that."

They all gave Madison an odd look and took a sip of their drinks.

Rose mentioned, "Kink can be a deal breaker."

Madison with a disgusted face blurted out, "He's suggested wearing a cock extender."

Alison, Cheryl, and Rose glanced at one another.

Rose mentioned, "I'd feel he's being a conscientious lover?"

Alison added, "If I was with a guy who had a smaller member and he suggested wearing one I'd feel like he cared about me. If it makes sex better why not try it?"

Madison made a face, "I'm not into all that kinky stuff."

Alison asked, "You feel a cock extender is kinky?"

Feeling cornered Madison stated, "It's more than that."

Alison felt compelled to ask, "What else?"

Stacy asked in a seductive sort of way, "Yeah. What is he into?"

The other ladies at the table noticed the change in interest.

"He's asked me to wear lingerie. I believe he has this thing about jeans. When I wore tighter jeans he kept touching my ass."

They looked at one another.

Madison in a hushed tone asked, "You know what he suggested he could make me?"

Cheryl felt she was about to regret her question, "What?"

"He wanted to sew me a pair of crotchless jeans."

Silence at the table.

Madison added, "What sort of guy sews?"

Stacy mentioned, "I wouldn't mind a guy who is willing to sew."

They all glared at her.

Madison in frustration said, "How about if a guy bought you a crotchless body stocking? Or suggested sewing you a corset? Or wants you to wear crotchless tights?"

Cheryl asked, "Is he able to perform without his kinks?"

Madison made a face, "Do I look like some deviant?"

Cheryl answered, "I'm not saying you are."

Madison defensive, "Then why are you suggesting I would wear such things?"

Based upon the massive kink list in the book. Alison felt these were pretty vanilla requests. Alison recalled what was written in the forward of one of her books. The author mentioned what one person considers to be kinky another will believe it's vanilla. The author went on to suggest a persons own sexual likes and dislikes might seem contradictory to another lover.

Rose answered, "What is a concern. Is when a person is if their desired kink is part of the play. Or when a kink or a fetish leads to inappropriate behavior."

This confirmed something Alison highlighted and marked in two of her books

.

Madison answered honestly, "He became excited without me wearing anything kinky."

Alison thought about her relationship with Dale. Near the end of their relationship she purchased a few lingerie outfits. She honestly found it exciting but her boyfriends indifference killed the excitement. For the first time, while listening to this conversation, she considered the possibility it was the type of lingerie she was picking. She wished she would have asked Dale what type of lingerie he wanted her to try on. She went deeper with her thought; there was the possibility he disliked her wearing it. She became frustrated with herself. She would never know because she was to afraid to ask. She again wished she would have read all of those books before having sex. She again promised herself she would never be afraid to research anything sexual ever again.

Stacy asked, "Is he into anything else?"

Madison leaned in, "You know what he suggested?"

The ladies shook their heads.

"He suggested because he was smaller we should try anal sex."

Stacy shrugged her shoulders.

Cheryl answered, "That's not something I'm into."

Rose answered, "Some people like it."

Alison thought about everything she read about this topic.

Alison mentioned, "I've read. Women who enjoy anal sex look for smaller guys. Maybe this is why he..."

Madison purposely interrupted Alison, "I'm not letting a guy put it in there."

Alison being curious asked, "Was he into anything extreme?"

Madison with frustration in her voice stated, "I'd say he's extreme. Between his small dick and his kinks. I'm not doing it with him!"

They stared at her.

She said with determination, "I'm breaking up with him as soon as I leave here."

Alison offered, "I wish I went out with a guy willing to discuss his desires."

In a sarcastic tone Madison said, "Then go out with him."

Alison gave her a look and took a large sip of her smoothie. She became silent just in case Madison recanted her permission.

Cheryl looked over at Alison and asked, "Did it ever work out with Scott?"

Alison answered with a shrug, "No."

Stacy immediately mentioned, "I've heard he has a real big cock."

Alison found herself answering, "A big cock isn't everything."

The ladies looked at her.

Alison blushed.

Madison asked interested, "What haven't you told us?"

Stacy asked, "Did you do it?"

They stared at Alison.

Alison decided if she wanted to be more expressive with a partner she needed to practice. She felt this was a good time to start.

"We tried it."

Madison asked, "Tried?"

Stacy's eyes went large, "Did you stop it?"

Alison answered, "Yes."

Rose out of concern asked, "Why?"

"He was horrible at foreplay."

Cheryl commented, "You weren't ready were you?"

"No."

Stacy asked, "You seen it?"

Alison rolled her eyes, "It's about eight and half inches."

Madison asked, "Is he single?"

Stacy added, "I believe he is."

Rose and Cheryl rolled their eyes.

Alison offered her advice, "I feel Cheryl is right. I used to believe the key to great sex was a big cock. I no longer feel that's true. Just because a guy has a large member doesn't mean he'll be a good lover. I feel Scott is a horrible lover."

Stacy asked, "He wasn't good in bed?"

Alison answered, "I found him to be rude."

Cheryl asked out of concern, "Everything alright?"

Rose added, "Nothing happened?"

Alison answered honestly, "He stopped when I asked him too."

Madison commented, "You asked him to stop?"

Alison heard the layers, "Yes. To borrow a term Cheryl used. I didn't like being hit by a jack hammer. I'm tired of sex being uncomfortable."

Stacy and Madison looked at one another.

Alison matter of factually said, "I've decided to wait until I'm married to have sex again."

All of the ladies looked at her.

Madison commented, "Come on?! Really?"

Rose glared at Madison then looked over at Alison, "If you want to wait do so. Don't let anyone else convince you otherwise."

"I won't."

Madison felt compelled to be snarky, "I hope fingers and toys will be enough."

Alison had a list of equally snarky replies run through her head.

Instead she took a breath and decided to be honest, "I used to feel guilty when I enjoyed myself."

Cheryl immediately said, "You shouldn't feel guilty for masturbating."

"I realize that now."

Stacy being sincere said, "I didn't have my first orgasm with a guy until I started to masturbate. It helped me understand how my body worked."

Alison answered, "It's taught me a great deal."

Madison made a face, "You don't want sex?"

Alison answered, "One day I want to make love to a husband who will love me back. Until then I'm content to explore on my own."

Rose offered, "In hindsight I wished I would have taken a break after a terrible breakup during college. It's worked out wonderfully. But maybe it would have worked out better if I wouldn't have been in such a rush to find the next man."

Cheryl added, "I feel the break I took after my husband died was beneficial for me and my daughter."

Alison acknowledged, "Thank-you."

Madison asked, "Don't you miss it?"

Alison answered, "Not really."

Rose with compassion in her voice asked, "Have you had great sex?"

Alison jumped on this, "No. The best was when I fooled around with my first boyfriend after high school. I'll take the heavy petting we did over the sex I had with Dale."

She paused.

Turned toward Madison, "Or Scott."

Cheryl mentioned, "Dale wasn't the greatest of guys."

Madison concurred, "I agree. You could do better."

Alison decided to share, "Sex with Dale was very routine. I could easily blame Dale for this. But I was at fault too. Before having sex with Dale I believed I knew a lot about sex. Worse I assumed he would know what to do. After the horrible experience I had with Scott I realized I knew very little about sex. Since then I have..."

She paused.

The ladies at the table gently waited for her.

Alison put her thoughts together.

"My desire is to have a fulfilling monogamous sex life with a husband. After horrible experiences with Dale and Scott I realized I needed to learn more. I've read many books and I've been seeking out legitimate research on the internet. I want to be with a guy who is able to express his desires. Just as I want to be with a guy who will listen to mine. If we end up struggling we'll work it out together. I don't want a man who'll look elsewhere instead of working things out with me. I'm not expecting sex to be great every time but it doesn't have to be miserable either. I'd rather be single and masturbate than endure terrible sex."