All Comments on 'Cuckolding of our Friends Pt. 02'

Much better, far more readable. I did find it hard to make a connection to any of the characters though. The subject, especially as presented should created some form of visceral reaction or emotion but in a way it is a bit like reading a shopping list of object experiences.

I'm no great expert on creative writing and have only managed to scratch out one submission so please, remember this is just one person's view. The style and delivery just doesn't work for me, but the premise is still exciting. Keep working on it.

great for husband inclusion!!