All Comments on 'Curiosity Ch. 01'

Really interested in this story can't wait to read more.

Congrats on your first story. The one thing I like about your writing most is that you include such detailed descriptions. It's great b/c it helps the reader form a picture in their mind and draws them in. Though I am still unsure about suede carpeting, :) It would be a bitch to take care of ;)

One thing to look for is when the speaker changes you start a new paragraph. Another is that you seem to switch your tenses. You do it from the first sentence to the second and then switch again when you begin the paragraph where she walks into the club. I'd like to see you reach out to find an editor. They can help clean up things like that. It's good to have someone to bouce the chapter off of before you do final corrections and then have them edit it once you're done and before you submit. All the best authors have one or more sometimes. You can get one through the site.

I will look to see where the story goes in the next chapter.

I'll be interested in how he will find the woman again without any name or information. Great first attempt. Good luck as you continue writing.

On your first of hopefully many storys on Lit. I hope this is only the first story in a series. You have given us a interesting main character to follow. I look forward to following him as he attempts to find the mystery woman from the bar.

interesting. is the cat really a cat???

This is an extremely interesting story, but I have some suggestions. I have a hard time reading anything in the present tense (or write that way -- I've tried!). has are a lot of -ing's throughout the piece, which distracted from a good plot. Another distraction was an overuse of adjective and adverbs. Use them sparingly and they'll become much more powerful.

That being said, please keep up with this! I also am curious about the cat. : )

I like the start to this story. I like a little longer chapters and a little less of how everyone is dressed. Keep writing and hope to see more from you soon.

Thank you all for your input, I had no idea that about 10 pages on word was so short on here once submitted.

With that being said I'll make the next chapter longer, but in doing so it might take a bit longer to get it uploaded since I will be looking for an editor, as well as working on my tenses and -ings. I'll try to hurry but I am a full time student so I have to balance the free style writing with essays and other projects, but I'm going to stick with this. I know how annoying it can be to find something you enjoy reading and then the author just stops with no ending. I have already started Ch. 2, so that's the good news.