All Comments on 'Cyprus Desires: Home Alone'

Story is really confusing.

A reader should not have to struggle, for example, to understand whether one is in the present or the past.

Story also does not hold together. The couple "Every summer, s[head] out to our holiday home in Cyprus" for a month, but then they have marital problems. Things just do not make sense.

I will give you a 5, for the story. However, it was not well written

Totally disorganized. He's waiting for his flight and then having sex beforehand? Where is the pause and explanation of his actions and dreams. Try again.

Okay. So she's a slut. Hump and dump her. She's not worth the future pain and hassle.

That makes no logical connection to parts of the story. Have you actually tried to read that work?

Poorly thought out and badly written.

All over the place..he is flying to Cyprus,then he goes into backstory ( ok,)..but then we get to where his wife is horny, wants him to pound her..then he goes to the bedroom, she is supposed to follow..but then he gets a text she is working late? Then she is there in her lingerie, then tells him she fucked the client...finis.Is this to be continued? If so still a mess.

WTF? Did you read this before you posted it? Did you think it made ANY sense?

1*

"Part One:"

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No chapter # in the title to warn this wasn't a complete story BEFORE opening it always earns an automatic rating of 1.

BTB

Maybe I'm wrong compared to the other 6 that have commented but I think it was all part of a fantasy. They had sex as soon as she came in the door, and then told him to go upstairs, then she sent him the text saying she would be late. Then told him a story about her day.

I am not a good story teller so I try and be kind to those who attempt to tell one. Next time do an outline and concentrate on a beginning, middle and ending flow. This one isn't consistent. No thought to the action and resulting end up as disjointed thoughts. Try again.

Ok. As best as I can follow the story…he is waiting to catch a plane…he flashback to when they first meet and have sex…then he explains that they were having vanilla sex so they started role playing about « voyeurism/cuckold » and that he likes his own creampie…then we are back to present and him boarding the plane and he flashback to the last time they had sex where they seem to role play, the wife ask him to kickly fill her up with cum, then seends him to take a shower then sends him a fake text pretending to be late because of a customer so they can role play about her coming home with a creampie for him to eat…is that it?

This story has potential however, it was pretty scattered. I simply could not follow the story line. Hope you get an editor for the next one.

WHAT THE FUCK?

I see I'm not the only one that thought this was confusing

There seems to be a story there, just needs sorting out.

What just happened? The story was all over the place. Is there more to follow?

Poor LW category, everyday from bad to worse.

I also think this is a confused mess. You need a good editor.

That made even less sense than the average cuck story.

You should use an editor or a better proof reader. That was a mess. And hasn't he ever heard of masturbation and divorce?