All Comments on 'Dance Me to the End of Love Ch. 01'

Good first try, the trick is trying again. Oh and the anonymous moron, I don't guess he knows a, "Story," when he sees one.

I don’t like the second person story style! So I did not enjoy the story. This is a personal thing, probably unfair!

Please don't write in 2nd person. Who or what the "You" is always a mystery to me. Is the reader meant to associate with the I or the You in the story.

Wow—serious reactions! Judging by the specificity of your comments, it’s clear that you all read the story with a thorough, critical eye—thank you! Also, some of the more vehement sentiments expressed herein make me think, frankly, that I might be onto something...

To address a few of your points:

• My apologies if you don’t find the second-person narrative engaging, however [spoiler alert], this story—which is a first edit/installment of a much larger story—hinges on mixed perspectives. Much like my—and I suspect most people’s—lives and literary experiences do.

• As you all know, editing can make or break any piece of writing. If I have been too heavy-handed (or not enough), let that be a lesson for me.

• Lastly, although I can’t claim to have read everything on Literotica, I’ve read enough to know that this story is not the worst, if only on the basis of proper spelling, punctuation, grammar, and syntax... ;)

Thanks for sharing.