All Comments on 'Dani'

Uh… yep, that’s a great place to stop. Right there before getting anything worthwhile by out of confusion

I only found the beginning, where is the middle and the end?

Decent first story. A touch more backstory might have helped. Did she come over because she knew his parents were gone? Was this something she always wanted? Was it because she was a chubby girl with self-image problems? Or was she secretly hot, and that was a memory influenced by their childhood? While I agree, it was a bit of 'coitus interruptus' where you chose to stop, you could have built it up more with descriptions of the touch and sight sensations. Keep writing.