Dark Secrets

"I did, however, hear from him the very next day. He was waiting by my car when I was through with my classes. He handed me a piece of paper containing all of the pertinent information. It told me where and when. He said he had already paid for the room."

She went on to say that she had to keep the secret for more than a week. As the time got closer, her guilt increased. She called David twice to cancel.

"Both times he reminded me that he'd already paid for the room and that I had admitted to owing him a romp in the hay. He repeated his guarantee emphatically: nobody but he and I would ever know. That's the extent of the planning and conniving. Outside of that, nothing happened,"

I said, "So tell me, Coleen, if you thought you owed something to David, what about Larry and Fred? Do you owe them something too?"

She told me that as of now, the only person she owed something to was me. She said that she owed me a much better wife. She vowed that she would be just that.

Then she said that it was her turn to answer my implied question from earlier. She reminded me that she had asked me if I was sick or something. My answer was, "Let's go with 'or something.' I could ask you the same question."

She said it was her turn to answer that implied question. It was time for me to hear her "or something."

CH 08

She said, "I called in sick today and went to see my cousin Bobby. You remember Bobby, right?"

"I sure do. He's a divorce lawyer. Now I see it. You're going to tell me how you've changed your mind about David. That's why you need Bobby's services. So, when will I be served?"

"What are you talking about? No one is going to be served. I didn't see Bobby to get a divorce, I asked him to help me avoid one.

She said that she told Bobby everything that happened with David. Every gory detail. She asked him if there was anything available that could be used to assure me that she would never repeat that behavior.

Bobby said that her request was a first for him. He said it would be a nice change of pace to save a marriage instead of destroying it.

At that point, she opened her backpack and handed me an envelope. She said, "Read that over and let me know what you think. What it says, in a nutshell, is that if I do anything remotely like that again, you can just contact Bobby's law firm or the courthouse to activate a divorce free of charge. I've already paid Bobby for it."

She said that the divorce would leave her only one-fourth of our joint assets instead of the usual one-half. Also, I would have primary custody of Sally and Roy. She would only have visitation rights. The house would be mine. Not just until the kids were 18, but mine, period. There were other stipulations, but those were the biggies.

I said, "Let me read through this tonight and I'll get back to you tomorrow. In the meantime, I want you to know that I'm having trouble handling this. I still can't believe what happened. You chose to betray me with my best friend. It doesn't get any worse than that!"

I went on to say how her actions with David in his car robbed me of my self-worth. "I'm not the man that I was before I saw that video. I don't know if I ever will be."

She said, "Don't you think that I know that? Don't you see that I have become an abomination to myself? I would do anything to go back and not do this horrible thing. I can't go back. It's impossible. At some point, like it or not, our marriage, our family, and our future will depend on whether or not you can forgive me. I know it's not fair. I know it puts the onus on you, but It's that simple. There's nothing more that I can do. I'm the destroyer in this story. Only you can be the savior.

"I realize even more than you do how unfair this is. I am nailing you to the cross so my sins can be forgiven. That's awful. If you do decide to keep our marriage intact, I will always know that you did it for Sally and Roy, not me. I'm willing to accept whatever you decide. My last hope is that you believe the document I signed. If you decide against me, I will understand.

She said she knew that I liked to equate life events with song lyrics, so she wanted to follow my lead. With her voice trembling and weak, she began singing to me:

I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you've dreamed of

And I'm wishing you joy and happiness

But above all this, I wish you love

And I will always love you

She ran from the room. Her face was that of a lost soul.

I started to run after her, but what would that solve? She was putting her hopes in the agreement Bobby prepared for her. Through tears, I read the document. I wondered if an agreement like that was legal. Who would—or could—enforce it? Her heart was in the right place. I wanted to believe her. I needed to believe her. I did believe her. I fell asleep in my chair in the den.

The next day, I made an appointment to see Bobby. He got me right in. He said, "I was hoping you would come by. I thought about calling you, but this is better."

He said that the legality of the contract was somewhat in doubt, but the important thing was that Coleen didn't know that. He made sure that the document covered everything she asked for and he assured her that it was valid. She didn't notice that when he said that, he had his fingers crossed behind his back!

He said, "With or without the agreement, I'm convinced that she will never stray again. Not even a little bit. She was devastated beyond description when she came to see me. I told her that she didn't need such an agreement. She agreed that she didn't need it, but you did."

She said, "I thought that I was home free when I didn't do the deed, but Barry believes differently. He believes that if a man is lying in wait to kill a person and some external happening causes him to thwart his plan, he's still guilty of murder. The guy would have done it except for an unexpected interruption. He is guilty!

"In Barry's eyes, the fact that David and I planned it, scheduled it, and showed up to do it, was tantamount to doing it. You see, he needs something to convince him that I will never again even plan to cheat, let alone show up where it's supposed to happen. Without some proof that I never intend to repeat those actions, my goose is cooked."

Bobby said it all when he said, "She had me make the document for you, but in my heart, I did it for her. She's convinced that it is completely valid and binding. That's good for her and it's even better for you."

As I was leaving, he said, "By the way, that story about the man lying in wait to murder someone doesn't really fit, does it? What if there was no external happening to make him thwart his plan? What if he decided that committing murder was a bridge too far? Yes, he planned it and he showed up to do it, but he made the difficult decision to avoid the biggest sin of all. No court in the land would convict him. Think about that, my friend."

And I did.

When I got home, she met me at the door. She looked worse than I had ever seen before. I held her close as I told her that I had read the agreement page by page three times. I decided to accept it. I said that after reading it, I was willing to bypass the whole episode with David. It would be the best outcome for Sally, for Roy, for her, and yes, for me too.

Now she was crying harder than I'd ever seen her do before. She said, "I thought I'd lost you and everything that we have built together. For what? For something, for someone that couldn't hold a candle to you. To err is human, but to forgive is Devine. You are Devine and I'm happy to worship you."

I said, "I don't want you to worship me. I want you to give your marital love to me and only me, forsaking all others for as long as we both shall live."

And she did.

Old flames, can't hold a candle to you

No one can light up the night like you do

Flickering embers of love, I've known one or two

But old flames, can't hold a candle to you

The End