All Comments on 'Dawn In The Dark Ch. 02'

The sex scene was tremendously erotic and well written what I don't understand is why in your stories the husband always wants to see his wife have sex with other men it just doesn't make any sense to me. I also fear that this story will either end up with Dawn fucking someone else or with her leaving Harry with the money you wrote about in this chapter either would be a very unsatisfactory ending.

It would be so sad to see him become a cuckold and her a slut. I hope not but i see his fantasy becoming real. That would be a disappointment. Fantasy should stay fantasy. Many loving marriages are destroyed when it becomes real. I dont like the cuckold fantasy. It would be nice to have a TLW, and a TLC.

The sex was erotic. :)

I think your writing about the actual sex is your best to date. You just keep getting better and better at that element. What I really like about your stories, and your voice, is that you frequently interweave both hot sex as well as the drama of a marriage in turmoil/in transition/facing challenges. There are a lot of authors who do good dramatic LW stories (which tend to be my favorites), but they are relatively non-erotic. You also do the wife's voice better than almost any other Lit author in this category (presumably being a woman helps out there). I'm not going to worry about where this series goes; I'm fairly certain it won't go into an absurdist slut-wife mode, at any rate. Any other path I'm sure will be handled with skill and thoughtfulness.

One more note from a technical standpoint: I like how you are able to show, mostly through dialogue, how two people don't always connect perfectly. Real people, having real conversations, who experience real emotions, often cannot have a perfect meeting of the minds. You develop that well. It makes for a more 'real' experience for the reader, and allows the story to develop along its own lines. Full marks.

Have yet to score this. I thought it was great up to the fantasy about his wife having sex with the taxi driver. Still...so far it's only a fantasy. I hope it only stays that.

We all know where the author is going with this. It should be posted in Fetish, and I will be giving it 1*.

Gee, they've JUST gotten over the worst row of their marriage because of this topic, and he wants to re-initiate the pain just as they've gotten physical again! He deserves all the bad shit that is about to descend on his headbone!

This is an enjoyable read and you are spinning the details into what I perceive will become a long story with several chapters. The details not to be missed are the off shore account in her name only, Annabelle and the lust both woman have for her husband.

I like your narrator/wife. She seems straight forward and fully in love but wise to the ways of the world. I can see myself looking forward to your next installments.

Your grammar and writing seems to be without noticeable error, definitely British (which can be a drag but isn't in this story).

So, weave away and spin your yarn. I'm liking it. 5***** on this installment from me.

Regards,

-Pultoy

The wreck is on it's way. I feel sorry for Dawn. I have only contempt for Harry at this point. I have a feeling the word "Swinger" will have to be used in the near future. Dawn is going to have to defend her marriage bu herself it seems. I always love strong female characters. I mean real strength not bitches or whores who think they are alpha females. This is very good writing. I gave this *****.

Good writing, and hopefully(but unlikely) this will be a story where the wife doesn't accept her husbands fantasy as a good thing. Fantasies are good and should always be part of sex play but when one of the partners starts getting obsessed with that fantasy and wanting to make it happen then count most people out. Of course all the swingers and sharers and cuckolds on this site will disagree, if that is there thing then good luck to them. Anyway Gale you obviously know where this story is going so post part three and then I think you better take cover, the battle lines will be drawn and the fight will begin amongst the commentators.

I only have one question.

What the fuck is Harry trying to accomplish?

We'll see where this goes...

I do not like a lot of places where this could be going, but.... It is very well done and full of possibilities. Perhaps the marriage will survive...

Very good so far and very well written. Dawn's dead against living out this fantasy, so it'll be interesting to see how things develop from here

......... but I won't do that.

Perfect. A 5.

yes, what does the future hold?

You write beautifully. It's been a while since you've posted here but I hope to hell you're still writing and posting something somewhere. Your character Dawn feels as if she were created for me. I adore her.