All Comments on 'Dean's Daughter Ch. 01'

Of your stories I'm probably going to like this the least. Penelope is really not likable while Clarrissa is quite likable and loving of Ethan. The only way I see this making narrative sense is if you make Clarissa have some kind of betrayal which will kind of seemed forced or Penelope taking him away from Clarissa by force which will make Penelope even less likeable. I understand you are trying for the psycho yandere vibe, but I'm not totally sure it works. The story just may not be for me

Clarissa might appear likable at the moment but in the next chapter her flaw will be revealed and it will be presented in a way that makes you question how much she cares about Ethan. I won’t reveal it here but chapter 2 is submitted already. As for Penelope, she is different from my other girls. The other girls use brute force but Penelope is a cunning academic. She is far more dangerous, being the most manipulative out of all of them. You will see just how much in the next chapter.

Penelope...Yuk!

Interesting concept but not something that appeals to me. Good luck in your writings.