A Death in Smoking Paradise

"Ryan, sorry, but can you please come over here and arrest and handcuff Alice and take her back to the station?"

***

Hannah stood up and looked back up the beach and then looked back at her sister. "What the hell happened there?"

"I am not sure, but I don't think we will be seeing Dexter this afternoon. They seem to have had serious meeting up there."

"Yeah, I get that; maybe I can help him row the boat back?"

"I am sure you could ask?" Martha stated as she looked and watched as Katya solemnly walk down the beach to her canoe. "But I don't think he is taking it back."

"Oh" Hannah said as she sat dejectedly sat back down on her lounger and then sucked on her orange straw coming out of cocktail.

"We might find him later!" Martha said trying to be positive.

Saturday Evening

"I thought it wise to reconvene everyone up here out of the prying eyes of the beach." Announced Martin as he leaned against the central island of his kitchen and then dragged on his cigarette and sighed as he exhaled as he looked down on Tanya, Dexter, Marion, Davina, and Ryan. "We have Carrie-Ann and Mike arriving tomorrow; I believe she will be the best person to manage the PR on this situation. As we will need some positive news to cover the rather sad news of both Chardonnays demise and well, one of our own being involved."

The gathered group looked at each other and nodded.

"So, talking of which we do have a replacement Carmen coming out on the boat as well, so I hope you will all give her a warm welcome, Marion, could you if I drop you down to cabins clean out Chardonnays room for her?"

"Yeah Darling, whatever!" She slurred and gulped more of the wine and then elaborately dragged on her cigarette.

"Maybe Dexter and I can help?" Tanya asked.

"We shall see Tan,"

"Oh okay." Tanya said a little dejected.

"Thank you. Also, I will need to discuss with Ryan privately, probably tomorrow, if he wants to remain on the island or return home, I can imagine that life has been a little shock to you today? There is no rush, unless you want to take the boat tomorrow."

Ryan sat glumly holding his beer in one hand a cigarette in the other and nodded and then took a swig of her beer.

Martin didn't wait for a response and turned, "Davina, I have to thank you for helping us out in this situation, I hope your report isn't too critical of us on the island, as I believe Ryan, Tanya and the others have been good inhabitants that I know and trust on the island and have helped you with in your investigation."

"Yes, thank you Martin." Davina said for instinctively standing up to talk to the room. "I must admit I have failed to complete my inspection of the systems this week, as I have been slightly distracted. My colleague Dexter has spent the week helping me from as I believe most of you eventually found out he was trying and clearly failing at a little subterfuge." Davina raised her eyebrow accusingly at Dexter as she shrunk slightly into the sofa and Tanya reassuringly placed her hand on his knee.

"I have discussed this morning with head office that whatever Ryan decides to do, there will be a need for police support on this island. We had a discussion, as to whether this was Dexter staying on the island, or me." Davina stated as she leaned forward and stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray.

Tanya's eyes opened wide and glinted as she looked from Davina to Dexter and back again and dragged on her cigarette and then exhaled out to the side.

Davina smiled before continuing "I know Dexter has been enjoying the local life on the island and shall we say and has received an excellent welcome from your team here Martin" she stated as smile crept across her face looking at Tanya and Dexter squished together on the sofa, "however after much debate we determined to create some stability on the island that unfortunately for me and my lungs, I will have to stay a little longer on this hot unforgiving island and Dexter will return to the office.

Martin nodded "We of course will welcome you on to this island, I am sure you can work with Ryan going forward?"

Davina looked at Ryan and nodded at each other before Ryan looked back at his hands.

"Great Davina," Martin replied, "now I think we should raise our glasses in memory of Chardonnay and to welcome our newest member of the team to the islands."

***

"Cheers darling, to us!" Carrie-Ann smiled giggled as she offered her glass closers to Mike's.

"Cheers Caz!" Mike grinned as he brought his glass to hers.

"They do an amazing job with the food on this boat. I would put on a tonne of weight if I stayed on here all the time" She smiled dreamily and extracted a cigarette from the pack beside her.

"Probably explains someone's curves on here" Mike stated.

"Oi, don't be so bitchy."

"Sorry, okay how about the chef certainly goes to town with the flavours."

"That's better, I just feel sorry for them that it's so quiet on this crossing. At least we recognise the Harrisons!" he grinned and nodded behind him in the direction of Kate and John.

"Is it out of season for tourists?" She looked across the near empty dining room, Carmen was in one corner keeping herself to herself and there was one other couple of Kate and John busily eating with their cigarettes burning beside them in the ashtray.

"I feel sorry for the guys at SPIL that this isn't as full." Mike mused.

"Well, I guess that is where we come in once we get there!" Carrie-Ann grinned with the unlit cigarette between her teeth before closing her lips around the cigarette she leaned in and used the candle between them to light her cigarette.

"Yes, as I have said hundreds of times, your environmentally friendly exclusive smoking holidays idea will I am sure boast the economy of the island, I am sure that they just haven't thought of it."

"I know I am right darling; I am thinking of sitting in a treehouse up high amongst the canopy, with a stash of cigarettes and bottle of wine or two, looking over the waterfall, but as you know, I am just not convinced that they will want to go around the islands digging up all the thousands of butts scattered around the place." She screwed her face up and then released it and smiled as she placed the filter between her lips and leisurely filled her lungs with smoke as she dragged yet again on her cigarette.

"I know you are, and I am sure you can convince them too!" Mike smiled as he watched her mini smoking show.

***

"So, Han, have we convinced you to stay on the island for a bit longer or are you going home to Mom tomorrow?" Martha asked as she twisted the bottle opener into the wine bottle.

"Do we know if Dexter is staying?" Hannah asked.

"Come on Hannah, change the record and snap out of it, our lives don't revolve around his rather large swinging cock, we don't know what he is doing." Martha stated as pumped the handles of the opener. "All we do know is sadly that Alice and Chardonnay are definitely leaving the island. I guess we can go down to the boat tomorrow afternoon and see if he climbs the gangway."

Hannah pulled puppy dog eyes at her sister "Yes mum, might be good to say goodbye." She frowned, and pulled a new cigarette out of the pack on the kitchen table.

"So do you want some more wine?" Martha asked as she wiggled the cork out of the bottle.

Hannah nodded "Yes please!" she stated as then lit the cigarette.

"Good!" Martha replied smiling as the cork popped out of the bottle, she turned at looked at her sister "Hannah, without getting too emotional, can I say?" she asked as she poured the white wine in the two tumbler glasses "I have enjoyed having you here!" Martha smiled at her sister.

"Really?" Hannah asked manicuring her cigarette. "As I have too!"

"Yes!" and she handed her the very full glass of wine over.

***

A tear rolled down Tanya's cheek as she kissed Dexter "I really thought she was going to say you were staying." She whispered as she stroked his stubbly face. "I really, really thought that was what she was going to say."

Dexter shuffled up and used his arm to hold his head up off the white pillow "Tanya, this has been an amazing week, but my boss has said I have got to go home, this has been sadly far too quick" he gently coughed "but an amazing holiday romance; I can't get away from that. You can't get away from that. It won't translate beyond these amazing shores."

Tanya nodded and sniffed, "but we can keep in contact?"

Dexter smiled "Of course we can."

"Good!" Tanya finally smiled as she rolled on to back away from Dexter and reached across and fumbled on the bedside table a cigarette, she placed the unlit cylinder between her lips "I am so glad that Dad let me spend some more final time with you, rather than going to see the Outhwaites tonight. I really don't think they will be signing up for another week." She stated and flicked the lighter and her cheeks collapsed twice as deeply as she inhaled to get the cigarette alight.

"The circumstances are not exactly your fault?" Dexter asked as her large exhale enveloped them both in smoke.

"I know, but it's my job to get returners, I'm proud of my job, I did well with the likes of Mike and Carrie-Ann who are moving out here permanently tomorrow." She grinned and wiped another tear from her eyes.

"Does that mean you are you busy next week?" Dexter asked.

"No, sadly not we don't have any tourists next week, I can at least chill for a week. Hopefully avoid Trudy and the grave site" She sighed loudly before she dragged again on her cigarette and smiled at him briefly before exhaling.

Dexter bit his bottom lip and reached across Tanya to get a cigarette and the lighter and swiftly got it lit before his head hit the pillow again.

"Tanya, I am thinking and talking at the same time," he said looking at the ceiling "so this may come out all wrong, back to front and strange, but in my head, it also sounds right" he stated and rolled on to his side and looked at Tanya before he paused and dragged on the cigarette almost gathering his thoughts.

"Oh, what Dexter?" Tanya cocked her head to the side her eyes inquisitively begging him to carry on as she looked at him inquisitively.

"I am just laying here very much naked next to you thinking...but..." he again paused as he inhaled the smoke into his lungs.

"But what Dexter?" she asked and then exhaled through her nose.

"Tanya" he said with his exhale and used his spare hand to move a stray bang of hair out her tanned face "would you come back to the mainland with me tomorrow?"

Tanya coughed in shock "Pardon, what?" she asked looking extremely confused at Dexter.

"Well, I can't stay here, but you could come with me?"

"But...but...I am not pregnant; I don't need to leave the island!" She responded.

Dexter laughed and rolled on top of Tanya "We could well soon change that!" and he laughed and tried to lean in for a kiss.

***

"How disappointing that Henry is feeling ill this evening?" Carrie-Ann looked at Mike as she exhaled.

"I guess other than Carmen he has worked his magic on us all already."

"True, but darling, it does mean a couple more drinks and then I do get that early night with you." Carrie-Ann grinned and flicked her hair out of her face and inhaled deeply on her cigarette.

Sunday after Lunch

"I am going to have to get some more pastries after work tomorrow?" Martha grinned as Hannah placed her iced bun into her mouth and chewed. "Or you can help out and get them too?" She asked as her sister licked her lips of icing.

Hannah shrugged her shoulders "They do an amazing job out here; these are very nice!" she said with her mouthful and carried on chewing.

"I am guessing your diet and exercise will start again tomorrow?" Martha teased, grinned and tilted her head as she flicked her lighter and drew her cigarette her cigarette as fingers giving the white cylinder a wide V as she then quickly drew on it again, letting the exhale drift off.

"Well, the exercise certainly continues tomorrow, I am enjoying the swimming!" Hannah stated triumphantly as she brushed the crumbs off her lap and licked the stray icing off her teeth and pulled a cigarette out of the pack on the kitchen table and as the filter was placed between her lips Martha fired up the lighter, she leaned in and inhaled.

"Talking of exercise are we going down to see the boat go? As I see you haven't packed" Martha grinned and glanced across at Hannah's clothes still strewn over the sofa.

Hannah sighed her exhale "I'm actually okay, it's a long walk, and" she looked at her hand the smoke streaming up off the end of the cigarette between her fingers and smiled as she looked up "I've decided I am definitely going to stay for at least another week if that is okay?" Hannah asked and then placed the filter back between her lips and drew on it.

"Are you sure?"

Hannah nodded as she drew on her cigarette again and then exhaled a small cloud of smoke "Yes, I like it here, with you, Dexter or no Dexter."

"Good for you Hannah, it's nice to have you around for the company!" Martha flicked the long ash from her cigarette above the ashtray and smiled warmly at her sister.

***

Tanya untangled her legs from Dexter's as they sat on the sofa and placed them on the floor "You need to get your stuff together if you are going. I especially need to get going, I am going to be late" Tanya ordered as she stretched and reached her pack and extracted another cigarette.

Dexter smiled, "Are you sure I can't persuade you to come too?" he shuffled up on the edge of the sofa.

Tanya's cheeks collapsed around the cigarette twice in quick succession as she dragged to get it alight before exhaling out the corner of her mouth. "Dexter, I have told you, my life is here."

"But you could escape?"

She smiled and flicked her ash off the cigarette on to the floor beside the sofa "I could, but I don't want to."

"Dexter this island is both my life and home, and using your own words, this is just a holiday romance." She stated cocked her head to show one up-man-ship and then dragged again.

"Tan that is fair enough just thought I could let you escape."

"It's okay, I am happy here!" she stated confidently and flicked her cigarette again.

"Fair enough, do I get one last kiss?" Dexter grinned.

"Yes, and if you are good, a little more..." Tanya smiled back and leaned in.

***

"Many thanks for your repeated custom with SPIL and we look forward to taking you back to the mainland in due course. As ever please don't squirrel away too many cartons with you there is no need you will find plenty on the island!" Mathew's voice boomed over the speakers of the boat. "However, you are now allowed to disembark. Thank you."

Carrie-Ann hurriedly chainlit her cigarette stubbing the spent one out in the ashtray as she exhaled through her nose, and then with Mike standing in the doorway holding the door open as she had one cursory final look around the bed as smoke drifted out her nose. "It all good, we haven't forgotten anything."

Mike smiled and rolled his eyes "I know, I just checked too. Come on let go and find out new home!"

"Yes sir!" Carrie-Ann saluted Mike before heading out the door dragging her suitcase as they went.

The couples met in the atrium after a bit of a discussion about who went down the gangway first, Mike and Carrie-Ann set foot on shore and looked around them.

"I forgot how hot this island is!" Carrie-Ann flapped her skirt a little "but it's quiet here today, where we early?" Carrie-Ann said as she leaned on the handle of her suitcase and drew on her cigarette.

"Yeah, there isn't a welcoming committee."

"Who was picking us up?" Mike asked as he watched and sarcastically waved as they watched Kate and John bags on the back seats of the one buggy parked on the quay and then slowly climb in and then drove off up the hill.

"I assumed Tanya?" Carrie-Ann stated as she looked around and screwed her face up before taking another drag on her cigarette.

"We could start walking up to the middle of the village?" Mike suggested as he opened his pack and took a cigarette out and placed it between his lips and then out of his other shorts pocket got the lighter.

"After this morning's Smoga routine and a glass of wine or two with lunch I am knackered, so sorry I am not lugging my suitcase and walking anywhere darling." She coughed twice to make her point before dragging again on her cigarette.

Carmen came alongside them and also coughed "Err sorry, err, hello, sorry to interrupt but do who know who is picking you up? As I am new here and have no idea what is going on!" She asked her sweetly.

"Hey, you, good crossing wasn't it, err, to be honest we thought Tanya was coming down." Carrie-Ann stated.

"I haven't ever been at sea! It was good fun, who is Tanya?" Carmen asked.

"Yeah, you will soon get to know her, she sort of runs the place."

"Oh okay, cool. Guess I will have a quick ciggy whilst we wait, good excuse as any." She smiled.

"Knock yourself out!" Carrie-Ann Grinned and quickly offered her the pack of SPIL golds she was clutching.

"What are these, I saw them on the ship?" she asked studying the white pack.

"It is what you will be smoking on here!" she grinned again and took another drag; they are rather nice and strong."

"Oh okay" Carmen said as the placed the cigarette between a recently red painted lips and then smiled before accepting Mikes light. "Oh, they are nice aren't they!" she said after exhaling as Mike nodded in agreement.

"Uhuh!" Carrie-Ann nodded mid inhale "yup" she said as she finally exhaled.

They looked up as a noise of whine grew louder as a convoy of buggies made their way down the road towards them.

"The cavalry has finally arrived!" Mike suggested as looked down the path as the buggies raced along kicking up the dust as they drove along.

Within a few minutes two buggies arrived down at the quay. Tanya was in the lead vehicle and Ryan was following behind. They pulled alongside the three visitors.

"Are we being arrested?" Mike tried to joke as a miserable looking Ryan stopped his buggy behind Tanya.

***

Ryan loaded Carrie-Ann and Mike and their bags and took them the short distance up to their new cabin up on the hill, whilst Tanya hurriedly took Carmen on sprinted tour around the island apologising that she couldn't spend longer with her today.

"Wow, this stunning Mike!" Carrie-Ann stood outside the front door taking it all in.

Mike smiled and stood behind her and wrapped his hands around her waist and squeezed her "Yes, it is."

Ryan coughed "Sorry to interrupt, have you got any more bags?" Ryan asked as he helped unload the buggy.

"Err no; I securely packed everything for either storage or the container to come out here. Has it arrived yet?" Carrie-Ann asked as she pushed Mike's hands out the way and then flicked her blonde bangs out of her eyes and swiftly lit a cigarette.

Ryan laughed, "No that ship only comes in every few months when someone buys a new sofa or something." He grinned.

Mike snorted "What?" he stated as Carrie-Ann was dragging on her freshly lit cigarette.

"Pardon!" she exclaimed with her exhale almost dropping her bag on her foot. "I think we need to talk to Tanya in bit." She stated with panic etched across her voice and quickly dragged on her cigarette again.

Ryan shrugged his shoulders "Sorry I can't help you now, but I need to get Alice and her stuff down to the boat.

"Oh, is she leaving too?" Carrie-Ann asked before taking yet another hit on her cigarette.

Ryan shook his head, "There is too much to explain now, I am sure you will get wind of what has happened soon and enough. Right, sorry I've got to go, see you later." Ryan stated and hoped back into the buggy, waved and drove off.