Debauchery on Faculty Row

"As I'm sure you know, I'm required to put everything pertaining to the staff's work performance in their file-good and bad. That's part of my job. Complaints, good or bad reviews, absentees, the works. She just takes the file out of the rack after an incident, tears all the bad things out, shreds them and slides her version back in the rack."

"And you brought me both files, Ann?"

"I did!" Ann was so proud of herself that her face lit up like a beacon and her chest puffed out with pride. "You can come to your own conclusions, Doctor."

"You. I like, Ann," Chase laughed. "And thank you for your honesty. I appreciate it."

"You're very welcome. Night, Doctor."

Chase's first act was to dig through the huge pile of staff folders and look for this Nurse Jenny's files.

He kicked his feet up on the desk and began to read through both of them. His jaw hit the floor on the first page of the actual file. He laid the two side by side. And there were numerous pages in the file Ann kept-a big contrast from Nurse Jenny's thin, heavily redacted version. A constant barrage of staff and patient complaints, poor reviews, unauthorized absences; the list went on and on. He was still shaking his head when his phone rang.

"Chase Brandt."

"Hi, Doctor Brandt. This is Kay McMillan. I'm the vice chancellor and the head of human resources. I hate to welcome you aboard this way, Sailor, but I'm afraid I just received a very serious complaint about you."

"Well! I'm honored. And only a few hours in, too. I beat my own record."

"Don't tell me. It was from..." He looked at the files again. "Sandler, Jennifer. Am I right?"

"I can't tell you who levied the complaint, but if we were playing hot potato, your hand would be burning," she laughed.

"Kay, aren't you just across the quad from us?"

"We sure are. Addison Hall."

"Will you be there for a while?"

"God, yes," she sighed. "It's been one of those days."

"Would you mind if I came by to discuss this with you?"

"Not at all. Please do. I was hoping to meet you, face to face, when you got here next week," she laughed. "I'm on the third floor. Last office down on the right when you get off the elevator."

"Thank you. Be there in a few minutes. Bye."

Chase picked up Jenny's files and stuffed them in the backpack he carried wherever he went. It was, more than anything else, his medical bag. He always carried it wherever he went in case of emergencies. Sadly, its' inception was the result of a very tragic event during a marathon run in his Navy days. The memory of that day still haunted him.

"Chase's ship docked in Yokosuka, Japan for a liberty call. A very good friend, who he sadly learned too late had an undiagnosed, undetected heart condition fell out while he and Chase were out for an extreme run; far from the base hospital.

Chase did what he could, wearing himself out performing CPR, but without the proper medications and supplies, he was helpless.

In desperation, he threw his friend over his shoulder and carried him, running, back to the base hospital. Tragically, it was too late. Since then, his well-stocked medical bag went wherever he went.

As expected, he heard Nurse Nasty call to him as he rounded the corner into the waiting room.

"Have a meeting to go to, Doctor?" Smugness and assurance oozed from her mannish voice. A self-satisfied smirk spread across her thin lips.

"Why don't you check with my publicist, Nurse Sandler. She keeps my itinerary."

He could feel her beady eyes boring into his back as he went across the quad to the admin building. When he reached the door, he turned back quickly. Exaggeratedly. As expected, Nurse Nasty was glaring at him through the filthy clinic window. That same, self-satisfied smirk was still spread across her sour, wrinkled face. It was obvious that she was expecting him to be on his way to be put in his place after her complaint. She obviously knew nothing about Chase Brandt. He was laughing as he mounted the stairs to the third floor. He hadn't been to the gym since he arrived in town. He bolted up the steps two at a time.

************************

His knock on the door was answered by a chipper, "Entree!"

"Hi, Kay. Chase Brandt." He reached out to shake her hand.

He was expecting to meet the stereotypical librarian-type Ms. Crabtree vice chancellor when he walked in. He was pleasantly surprised. Kay was a tall, athletic, very beautiful woman who Chase could tell, was the spirited, spunky type from the animated look on her stunningly attractive face. She had that mischievous look in her beautiful blue eyes that just screamed hijinks.

"Wow! I think I'm coming down with something doctor," she laughed, faking a cough. Her hand swooned to her forehead in an impressive Scarlet O'Hara impression "They didn't tell me the new sawbones was a hunk." She was so tickled she was snorting.

"And they didn't tell me the vice chancellor was such a beautiful woman," he smiled.

"Aw! Do go on," she laughed, blushing, batting her eyelashes. "Do I get undressed now, Doctor?" Her laugh was contagious.

"I'm sorry, Doctor Brandt. You'll have to forgive me. I've had this political correctness bullshit shoved down my throat for so long, sometimes you just have to blow off steam. And you don't look like the anal retentive type...at all!" She was still laughing that cheerful, happy, laugh; her beautiful blue eyes smiling as she eyed Chase up and down. Chase laughed right along with her. He liked her right off the bat.

"No. I'm a lot of things, but anal retentive isn't one of them! Nor is politically correct. And it's Chase."

"So nice to meet you, Chase. Now. What can I do for you? Fix you dinner? Buy you a house?" They were both chuckling like school girls. "How about if I start small. Coffee?"

"I'd love a cup. Thank you."

She filled two identical mugs from the pot on her ornate credenza and sat one of the steaming beverages in front of Chase.

"Jenny Sandler's an old story, Chase. I've been funneling complaints about her to the chancellor's office for years. It does no good."

"I'm new here, Kay, so I'm not sure of all the rules and regulations yet. However, if I'm not mistaken, the clinic and the campus medical staff are exempt from the chancellor's review, are we not? Isn't the hiring, firing and overall running of the clinic strictly up to the medical director's discretion? That's the impression I got from what scant literature the regional director sent me."

"It's supposed to be, Chase, but the piece of work who had the job before you kind of brought about a whole lot of extenuating circumstances and work arounds."

"But nothing was officially changed, right? At least it wasn't in the literature I read. If it was, I would have never taken the job. No offense, but I'll be damned if I'm going to have a bureaucrat telling me how to run a medical clinic."

"No offense taken. I like your style," she laughed. "And, no. As far as I know, nothing's been officially changed."

"Kay. You're human resources. Let me ask your honest, unbiased, opinion." He opened his backpack and tossed Jenny's massive file, along with the Jenny version, across to Kay.

"Read these, please, and tell me what you'd do? And keep in mind that the thinner, Nobel Prize worthy file is the file Nurse Jenny has condensed on her own. The thicker file is her actual file that the office manager made sure she kept the way she's required to keep all the staff files."

"Now. I haven't had time to talk to the entire staff; other than to dress the ones on duty today down, but I did talk to one who was almost afraid to speak to me for fear of this Jenny ogre's retribution; and another who was almost pulling her hair out over the conditions over there. And I've experienced her rudeness first hand."

He sipped his strong, delicious coffee as Kay intently read through the actual file. She was shaking her head. Tsk-tsking. He could see the disbelief written all over her pretty face.

"Chase. Are you in a hurry?"

"Not at all. I've got all the time you need."

She held up one dainty finger in a wait a sec gesture and picked up her phone.

"Hi, Clay, it's Kay. Do you have a minute to step into my office? Great. See you in a few."

"Clay's the director of our esteemed legal staff, Chase. And he's a really good guy. I want him to see this. Boy! Talk about a nightmare in sensible shoes. From an HR standpoint, just the fact that she's been culling her file is grounds for immediate dismissal as far as I'm concerned."

"That's my impression. And I'd truly like to get this clinic off on the right track. She's definitely not someone I want hindering that task. I've even heard through the grapevine that the students are either too disgusted to, or too afraid to go there."

"That's the general..." The knock at the door interrupted her. "Come!"

"Clay, this is Doctor Chase Brandt. He's the new clinic medical director. Chase, this is Clay Sparkman." Chase and Clay shook hands.

"I hope you can do something with that nefarious hell hole, Chase. That clinic has become a bone of contention and embarrassment-on campus and off."

"So I hear. And I have every intention of doing everything in my power to turn that around."

Even Clay was shaking his head as he read through the tome.

"So, Clay. Does Chase have grounds for dismissal?"

"She should have been let go years ago. Holy shit! And you're right. Just the fact that she's doctored her file alone is grounds for dismissal. The rest of this reads like a horror thriller. How has this shit been allowed to go on for so long? Is she in the witness protection program or something?"

"We don't stand on political correctness behind closed doors in here, Chase," Kay laughed. "Unless the chancellor, or some of the faculty or students are around, of course. You'll soon learn who the ones you need to tread lightly around are. Wanna get censured? Just swear or say something politically incorrect around one of our woke professors. And we're ripe with them. Big Brother probably has this office bugged," she sighed.

"Let's hope not," Chase chuckled.

"Chase, you're pretty much autonomous in the clinic. The chancellor has no control over you whatsoever unless you do something that goes against general university policy. Do what you feel you have to do to clean things up over there. Just make damn sure you cover your ass and leave a meticulous paper trail. Nothing around here happens seamlessly. Every decision any of us make is scrutinized and pushed back on. Academia, like the military, has a way of hiding their troubles by sweeping them under the rug."

"Not on my watch. We're supposed to be here to support these kids and that's exactly what I plan on doing. What I saw today still has my blood boiling."

"Go with God, my son, and good luck," Clay laughed. "But be prepared for some backlash. Just know that you have two allies in Kay and me. We've been battling the establishment around here for years. Our efforts often prove futile, but we press on, taking our few winning battles where we can. The fact that you're here now proves that we do win a few."

"I thrive on backlash, Clay. And I appreciate the support," Chase laughed.

"Kay, thank you. It was a pleasure meeting you both. I'd better get back to the clinic. I'm sure Jenny's watching out the window and logging my in and out times." They all shook hands.

"Any issues, Chase, just give me a call...any time," Kay laughed, winked, and walked him to the door.

By the time he got back to the clinic, his mind was made up. He'd call Jenny on the carpet first thing in the morning. But tonight, he had every intention of going through the rest of the personnel files. He wanted to know exactly what he had to work with. He didn't like surprises.

When he walked into the office, Jenny wasn't at the desk. A pretty young nurse sat at the window.

"Hi. Chase Brandt. And you are?" He reached out his hand to shake hers.

"Trish, Doctor. Trish Meechum. I'm the night nurse tonight. I was forewarned of your arrival," she laughed. "And while I missed your thrilling welcome aboard speech, you can consider me properly spanked, and totally on your side. Unless of course you'd like to personally spank me."

"I usually wait until the second infraction before I resort to corporal punishment, Trish. And thanks for your support." Chase laughed. "And it's Chase, Trish. Nice to meet you. Who's the NP on duty tonight?"

"Tony Parish. He's in with a serious sore throat and high fever in six right now."

"Oh boy. Ok. I'll be in my office if anyone's looking for me."

**********************************

Surprisingly, the nightmares he expected to unfold from the staff files never materialized. All the apparent troubles in the clinic appeared to revolve around one person. Other than a few who might need a slap on the wrist, they all looked like good, quality, qualified people. On paper, anyway. He'd need to see them in action and not under Nurse Nasty's thumb, to come to any definite conclusions.

He'd lost all track of time, lost in the numerous staff files, when he heard a knock at the door. "Come on in!"

The door cracked and the white handkerchief he'd handed to Abby earlier, tacked on a broom handle, slipped through the door, waving in surrender.

"Sorry! We don't take prisoners here. It's shoot to kill," he laughed. "Come on in."

Abby, his favorite NP, pushed through the door toting a six pack.

"For the record, this isn't a suck up offering. It's more a peace offering," she smiled. "And I wanted to bring you back your handkerchief," she laughed.

"Right now, I could use a cold one. Come on in and have a seat."

"I just wanted to say that I have no excuse for today, Chase. I was just so frustrated. Situations like the one you were exposed to today are the norm around here; not the exception. And the students shouldn't have to be punished for that."

"I couldn't agree more. And, as I said, you have nothing to apologize for. You handled that situation exactly the way I'd expect anyone with even an ounce of compassion would have."

She handed him a beer. He gratefully twisted the cap and took a long draw.

"And I apologize for coming in like a herd of elephants. I'm usually quite docile, actually. But seeing what I saw today just infuriated me. You were just, unfortunately, collateral damage."

"It used to infuriate me, too. But when it appeared that nothing was going to change, I guess I kind of went along with the flow to keep from blowing a fuse. Frankly, I got tired of having to clean up after everyone else. But I've kept my resume fresh."

"Well I can't give you any details, but I can promise you that things will definitely change around here. Starting tomorrow."

"So, Ms. Fulbrock. I was reading through your file a little while ago. Army nurse, then emergency nurse practitioner, huh?"

"Yeah. Six years. I got my masters and my ENP while I was on active duty."

"Oh well. When you can't get into the Navy, I guess the dullards have to have someplace to go!" Chase laughed heartedly. She knew he was kidding. The old dig had been going on between the services since their inception.

"Believe it or not, I couldn't agree more," she laughed. A beautiful, carefree, laugh. "Unfortunately, my high school was Army ROTC. I never had a chance."

"Your credentials are very impressive, Abby. And a little birdie told me that I could count on you as an ally. Is that true?"

"That depends on what that alliance would be?"

"Nothing sneaky or underhanded. I just want to get this place cleaned up and get things to where the students aren't afraid to come here for their medical care. A clean, high quality facility where they're treated with respect; and where they'll get excellent medical care."

"If that's your goal, Chase, count me in. Tony, me, and a couple of the nurses, have done everything we could to turn things around. Unfortunately, with no backup, we've been fighting a losing battle. And there's just no place to go to build up an alliance. The two doctors here treat us like their handmaidens."

"I'll definitely deal with that. Trust me."

Chase took a sip of his beer and leaned back in his chair. "Abby. Can we talk: just between you and me?"

"Sure."

"What's this power that Nurse Jenny wields over everyone around here? She's just one aged nurse for Christ sake."

"Ah, but the plot thickens. I don't know what the connection is exactly, but she has some heavy hitter relative or something in the ivory towers. She's, from what I've been told, untouchable. She's our answer to Nurse Ratched from Cuckoo's Nest."

"The last untouchable went the way of prohibition," he laughed. "There won't be any untouchables around here-myself included. And things will change. I have the utmost respect for nurses, but she's part of the one percent that doesn't belong in the profession. I believe I've got all the ammo I need, but if you have anything to add to the arsenal, I'd appreciate it."

"Well let's see. There's that permanent, mean, nasty streak. The self appointed title of queen of mean. She's rude beyond measure and a narcissist with a Napoleonic complex. Other than that, there's not much more to tell. She never deals with patients, medically, any more. She just sits at the window, doing a damn good impression of the receptionist from hell, getting RN's pay by the way, and she hasn't done anything, medically, since I've been here. Not even so much as taking a blood pressure. And the entire staff hate her. Are you really going to fire her?"

"Between you and me? Yes. First thing in the morning."

"Oh, thank God! I think you're going to find that once she's gone, this place will change dramatically."

"That's my intent. And I have every intention of calling all the staff in here individually and getting their stories and opinions. From what I hear, my predecessor was a real piece of work."

"I've never met him in the three years I've been here. We just get the occasional email, or find some new edict tacked on the bulletin board in the break room. In truth, most of us are convinced it's Jenny sending the emails and writing the manifestos."

"Well I'm more the hands-on type. And I have every intention of seeing patients myself. I'm told I'm a fair to midline administrator, but I much prefer patient interaction."

"God! I like you already," she giggled. It was a sweet, pure, giggle that instantly got to him.

"So tell me, Abby; what do you see that can be done out there to make the clinic a much kinder, friendlier place? A place that'll make the students feel comfortable coming here, and the staff happy to come to work?" He got a legal pad from his desk, ready to take notes.

"Well, you're already off to a good start. Getting this place cleaned up will be a definite improvement. Can you imagine being told to undress and sit on one of those disgusting exam tables? And to put on one of those fungus infested gowns?"

"Been there, done that, gave myself a shot of penicillin when I got done!" Both of them were laughing.

"I'm so sorry, Chase. And in my defense, had I not had a heart attack when you revealed your true identity, I would have normally pulled the used paper and wiped the cot down with a disinfectant wipe."

"I don't doubt that for a minute. And I apologize for the heart attack. What else?"

"Let's see. Better scheduling. And don't misunderstand me. Poor Ann does a wonderful job, but she's under Jenny's thumb. Ann makes the schedule, then Jenny changes it. And it almost always ends up with Tony, Trish, Carol and me getting the absolute worst schedules."

"Scheduling," he said, writing. "Well, that's easily fixed. I'll do the scheduling myself from now on. On a rotating basis with everyone getting their time in one shot instead of day here, day there. How does that sound?"