Debauchery on Faculty Row

"Like heaven! Lately, I'll work a morning shift one day, have the next day off, then pull a night shift the next day, then have to pull a double and stay over for a day shift the following day. And it's almost always weekends. She does it in spades whenever I've dared question her authority."

"Let me ask you this: is there an on call room in the clinic?"

"Two, actually. They're both store rooms now. I think the spiders have built their kingdoms in both of them. I wouldn't go in either one of them on a dare."

"Would you guys prefer to pull three day, seventy-two-hour shifts? Come in at seven one morning, work three days, and get relieved at seven AM on the fourth day? I ask because I've been reviewing the staffing. We're staffed well enough to do it. We used to work that schedule during my residency and everyone liked it. That would give each of you four days off every week. And after normal clinic hours you can sleep or read in an on call room and just be standing by for any in house patients or night emergencies. I'll get those on call rooms cleaned out and furnished if you all agree to the schedule changes."

"You're serious?! You'd do that?!"

"If everyone's agreeable, why not? My job is to have capable, competent, bodies staffing this place twenty-four seven. If I can make those capable, competent people happy doing that, all the better."

"I know I'd be elated. I've been trying to find a way to take a few extra classes; but with the way Jenny has us working, it's been impossible."

"We'll have a medical team staff meeting here in the next few days; after I've had a one on one sit down with everyone, and we'll see what the general consensus is."

"Listen, Chase. And I hope I'm not out of line here, but I know you're new in town and everything. Would you like to go out and get a drink? Maybe get the lay of the land from someone who's lived here for most of her life?" She had a shy, embarrassed look on her beautiful face that just made her look even more appealing-if that was even possible. She was biting the corner of her lip apprehensively.

"Actually, have you eaten, Abby?"

"No. And I'm starving?"

"Well then; how about if I take you out for a nice dinner? We can discuss all this, and put on the feedbag at the same time. I haven't eaten all day. Any good steak houses in town?"

"Oh, yeah! The Gaslight Grill. They've got fifty something varieties of awesome draft beers in huge frosted mugs and their steaks are to die for."

"Sounds perfect. Give me a minute to clean this mess up and we'll go."

"Great! I've got some charting to finish up. Meet you back here in twenty?"

"Sounds good. And I'll put these in the frig for our next powwow," he laughed, lifting what remained of the six pack.

*****************

Abby was an entirely different person when she was away from the clinic. Even more breezy and cheerful. It was like the weight of the world was lifted off of her tiny shoulders as soon as she was away from the stresses she'd been dealing with for three years. Her professional practitioner persona waned, and a very cheerful, very beautiful woman emerged. They fell into an instant, easy, conversation. Their short walk to the restaurant was upbeat and chock full of happy chatter.

"So. Are you actually staying in that haunted, rat's nest director's house connected to the clinic, Chase?"

"Not yet. I'm staying at the Regal until they get the house whipped into shape. I guess the last director didn't even live there. Ten years with no inhabitants really took its' toll. I almost had to call in a hazmat team just to clean out that nasty office bathroom. I thought about culturing the shower," he laughed. "I can't even get into the house itself. I was told it's unsafe. There's boards nailed across the entrance from my office and across the back door."

"Lots of luck getting the house whipped into shape any time soon. Campus maintenance seems to run about like that clinic does. Well, I probably shouldn't say that. In all fairness to them, that's probably not an accurate statement. Their lackadaisical responses may be due to Jenny, too. She's never polite when she calls them to have something fixed. And she barks at them and browbeats them when they do come. She's always criticizing their work and their response times. That's probably why they never respond very quickly. Who would, willfully, subject themselves to that kind of treatment?"

"And her nasty greetings are probably a big part of the reason the clinic is in the shape it's in. I have a feeling they'll expedite the repairs on the house, though. It's costing them a fortune to keep me at the Regal," he laughed.

"Are you one of those pot stirrers, Chase? A rebel?" The waitress was setting their fishbowl sized beers on the table, then took their orders.

"Fraid so. Especially where that clinic is concerned. I just can't deal with shoddy medicine. Never could. And I can't stand seeing patients treated like cattle. I'm not at all afraid to ruffle some feathers for the right cause; and I don't back down from a fight. I had a rear admiral at the last hospital I was in charge of that threatened to have me sent to Antarctica on a daily basis," he laughed.

"You're just what that place needs. Morale's in the crapper. People are threatening to quit. Good people. And given the well-known reputation we've rightfully earned in all the local medical circles, finding replacements will be nearly impossible if they do."

"Let's hope we can turn that around. Happy people make for a fun and enjoyable workplace. When I see a happy, smiling staff, I know the patients are being properly cared for."

"What about salary? I know what everyone makes, but how does that relate to the local trend? I didn't have enough time to look at all the demographics, or do any due diligence on the area. They'd basically labeled this place a disaster area and wanted me here immediately. I didn't get a chance to do a lot of the research I would have normally done."

"We're slightly under the average for the area, but there's perks. If we want to take classes there at the school, we only have to pay for the books and class materials. Three weeks paid vacation every year. Sick days. Discounts on scripts. And either free passes or discounted tickets to all the events on campus."

"So that's not an issue I need to address?"

"Not really. I mean, no one's going to pass up a raise, but money's definitely not something that requires your immediate attention. The salary and perks are basically the only reason anyone has stayed this long."

Chase laughed. "Ok. I've got quite a list here. What do you say we leave the clinic back at the clinic for tonight and just enjoy this awesome looking dinner, followed by a few more of these ginormous beers? This dark lager is one of the best I've ever tasted." The smiling waitress was setting their delicious looking steak dinners down before them. The delightful aroma had Chase's neglected stomach growling.

"Trust me. I know where to find a good beer," Abby laughed. "A bunch of us come over here after work a lot to drown our sorrows and bitch about Jenny."

*****************

The remainder of the night flew by happily. When they'd finished dinner, they just sat and talked and laughed. Mostly laughed. Chase quickly realized that Abby wasn't just intelligent, but she was free spirited, sweet, and a whole lot of fun. She just had this way about her that immediately put him at ease.

When the bartender called last call, both Chase and Abby were hammered. The night had just been so enjoyable, and the beer and the conversation flowed so smoothly, that it caught them both by surprise. They'd even done an inebriated, off key duet to Radar Love-and received rousing applause during the karaoke contest. Unfortunately, they didn't win.

He walked the stumbling Abby to her tastefully furnished, off campus apartment just outside the west gate and helped her in. Her hand-eye coordination was definitely out of whack. He had to take the key from her spastic hand to let them in. She plunked down on the couch, giggling, and was out before her head hit the throw pillow.

Chase just stood there for a moment, staring at the beautiful woman he'd just spent one of the most enjoyable evenings of his life with. She was just plain awesome in every way. So intelligent. So much fun. He truly wanted to see her, socially, again.

Abby wasn't scheduled to work the following day, but Chase's day was going to be a doozie. He gently slipped off her sandals, pulled an afghan from the back of her couch, covered her gently and gave her standoffish cat a saucer of milk. The wary cat quickly became his best friend, rubbing against his leg, purring loudly as Chase poured the milk.

He took one last look at her beautiful, sleeping face and locked her door on his way out. Thankfully her apartment was only a block from the Regal. He was pretty lit, and nearly forgot to set his phone alarm before he, too, passed out across his bed; fully clothed.

****************

In typical Navy fashion, he woke up, swallowed some ibuprofen tablets with a few massive glasses of ice-cold water to ease the throbbing in his head and started a mini pot of coffee in the complementary coffee nook; then took a cold shower. It wasn't a cure, but it did offer some much welcomed relief for the familiar hangover. He dressed quickly, filled his thermal mug with coffee and was walking through the clinic door at seven sharp.

He was pleasantly surprised. The clinic, while nowhere near the standard he wanted to achieve, looked miles better than it had the day before.

Trish, the night nurse, sat at the nurse's station filling out her end of shift notes.

"Morning, Trish. How was your night?"

"Hi, Chase. Gloriously slow, thank God. For the most part, the flu epidemic that's been running rampant around here took a night off."

"Just out of curiosity, Trish, were there any posters put around campus, or emails sent to the students encouraging them to get their flu shots back in the fall?"

"No. That should have been done, but...well..."

"Trish, you can speak freely."

"Well: I saw the media materials come in from the health department back in August. The posters and pamphlets, I mean. If I'm not mistaken, you'll find them buried under the volcanic eruption back there in the store room. Someone didn't want to bother. Look at the information table out there, Chase. Nothing on it but dust."

"So we've had a serious outbreak because someone didn't want to carry pamphlets out to the waiting room, or send out a mass email?"

"Basically: yes."

"Trish. When Jenny's not here, who covers the check in window?"

"Ann, usually. She's there at her desk anyway so she just multitasks."

"When Jenny comes in, would you ask her to come to my office, please?"

"Sure will."

As Chase headed down the hall to his office, he almost ran head on into Tony Parish, the NP on night duty, coming out of one of the exam rooms.

"You're Tony, right?" Chase asked.

"Yes! And you're Doctor Brandt. Nice to meet you. I heard you were here." They shook hands.

"It's Chase, Tony. Are you busy at the moment?"

"Nope. Just sent another fledgling flu case off with some Tamiflu. We're only seeing priority cases as you requested, so it's been a pretty quiet night."

"Got a minute to chat?"

"Sure." Tony followed Chase into his office.

"Sit, Tony. Relax. This isn't an inquisition," he laughed. He'd reviewed Tony's file the day before. Like Abby, he was one of the good guys. Abby assured him the night before that Tony would definitely be all for any positive changes.

They'd no sooner gotten started when the knock at the door came. She didn't wait for in invitation to come in. She just blew in like gangbusters.

"Trish said you wanted to see me, Doctor?" Just the intentional, dramatic, put-out look on her face pissed Chase off.

"I do, but I'm with someone right now. Have a seat in the outer office. I'll see you when I'm finished here."

"I do have a job to do out there, Doctor. Remember? Your rather boisterous orders to clean this toilet up. I don't have time to be sitting around."

Between her nasty demeanor and his waning hangover, he wasn't in the mood.

"Ann will handle the window, Nurse Sandler. Have a seat in the outer office. I'll be with you when I'm done here." The tone of his voice left no room for discussion.

Nose in the air, and with contempt written all over her prudish face, she whisked out and slammed the door.

When Chase looked back, Tony was shaking his head in disgust. Chase wasn't going to discuss Jenny's impending ouster with him. They just talked in general. As expected, Tony's interview almost mirrored Abby's. And he, too, was completely onboard with the initial changes Chase planned to make.

When they finished chatting, Chase stood, shook Tony's hand and asked him to send Jenny in on his way out.

He took a deep, cleansing breath and mustered up all the patience he could pull from his mental reserves. He never enjoyed firing anyone, but in this case he had no choice. Just for his own protection, he pressed the record button on his digital mini-recorder.

Once again, Jenny didn't knock. She just whisked in like she owned the place.

"I've got so much to tell you, Doctor," she quipped, plunking down in a chair, uninvited, her flabby arms falling on his desk as she feigned exasperation. He decided to let it play out for its' entertainment value.

For the next half hour, she whiningly extolled him on how incompetent the staff was, how hard she worked to keep things together with no cooperation from said staff, and her ideas for improving the conditions in the clinic. When he'd finally had a belly full. He stopped her in mid sentence.

"Nurse Sandler. Frankly, I've sat here quietly and patiently and heard your complaints, but I've also spoken to a good many of the staff. And I've reviewed your file. Your actual file."

"To put it in plain English; I believe you're delusional. Your interpretation of why things are the way they are, and the actual facts, differ entirely. Not to mention that nothing I've seen or read made you the queen around here, yet you seem to have assumed that responsibility-much to the determent of the entire purpose of this clinic. And between what I've seen with my own eyes, heard from the staff, and read in your file, I find that I have no other recourse but to let you go?"

"What?! Why you impudent, wet behind the ears, little prick! Who do you think you are?! You can't fire me! I run this fuckin place! I'll see your uppity, ivy league ass being hauled out of here long before I ever go!"

Chase laughed as he picked up the phone.

"Campus police."

"Yes, hi. This is Doctor Brandt in the student clinic. Would you send a couple of officers over to escort a disgruntled, belligerent, employee off the premises as quickly as possible please? Yes, thank you. Sandler. Jennifer. She used to be one of our nurses."

"I'd suggest you collect your belongings, Ms. Sandler, and leave peacefully. We wouldn't want a scene."

"Oh, I'll be back! You can bet your sweet ass on that! It'll be you they escort off campus before this is over, you wretched little puke!"

Chase was laughing, sitting back, hands folded behind his head, watching her ranting rampage. She was red faced, storming around his office, cussing up a storm and calling him everything but a human being. Even as a sailor some of her obscenities caused him to blush. And he had her entire tirade recorded.

The knock came quickly. Apparently the campus police were more on the ball than some of the other departments he'd heard about.

"Come!" Chase had to yell to be heard above Jenny's blue tirade.

Two burly campus police officers came through the door ready for battle after hearing her hysterical caterwauling all the way down the hall. Nurse Nasty instantly turned as pale as paste and went silent.

"Can you fellas watch her clean out her desk and her locker, then escort her off the property, please? And she's not to return for any reason."

"We thought there was a murder going on in here with all the noise," one quipped. "Come along, Ma'am. Let's keep this peaceful."

She spun on her heel, nearly spitting. "I'll be back! I'll get you, you sonofabitch!"

"You gentlemen heard her threaten me, didn't you?"

"We did," they answered in unison.

"Can I have your names, please? I'll need it for the discharge paperwork." They happily complied.

*****************

Chase spent the rest of the morning talking with the staff. Not surprisingly, the news was out. Those who'd seen Jenny escorted out got on the clinic telegraph and spread the word. While he couldn't, and wouldn't, give details, everyone he spoke with for the remainder of the morning was ecstatic. They all knew his glaringly obvious reasons without having to be told.

When he spoke with Ann again she assured him that she could get a student from the job center to fill the newly vacated receptionist's position.

The only dressing down he gave was to the nurse who herded him into the exam room. He accepted Alice's apology and her excuse that she'd just been overwhelmed with the influx of flu shot patients. He let her off with a warning and a brief note in her file. He got the impression that she'd toe the line from then on.

Chase had a brief, impromptu lunch in the faculty dining room with the two staff doctors. That went extremely well. Unfortunately, both were teaching a class that afternoon, part of their duties, and had to cut their meeting short. They'd barely got past the pleasantries. They all agreed to meet again when their schedules gibed; but both of them assured Chase they were on board and elated that things were on firmer footing.

He went back to the clinic with a little brighter outlook to start working on the new medical staff scheduling and getting the filth cleaned up. Everyone he spoke to, including the two MD's-who he'd also requested show their full respect and guidance to the NP's-were elated to be on more predictable scheduling; although the doctors amiable schedule was already fine with them. He went through all the staff files to determine seniority, and worked up a rough schedule accordingly.

He took advantage of the fact that Jenny was filling a nursing position, regardless of her self-appointed queen receptionist's title , and requested some nurse resumes from the staffing department. He was hoping he wouldn't have to do any interviews until things were on more stable ground, but nurses weren't an area they could afford to run short on.

When he looked at his watch, it was six PM. The day flew by. He was considering going out for something to eat when a knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts.

"Come on in," he called.

"You're going to cause me untold hours of grueling work, Doctor Brant," Kay laughed, sweeping into the room. "My office has been a madhouse all day."

"Don't tell me. Nurse Sandler expressed her displeasure over her dismissal," Chase laughed.

"And how! And so have a few of her ardent supporters. And the veil of mystery has finally been lifted, so to speak. It seems that our Ms. Sandler is related to the chancellor himself. And, between you and me, he's an asshole."

"I got that impression when I met him at my interview dinner at State."

"Well, not to cause you any further headaches, Kay, but I won't back down on this. The last director backed down twice. I won't. I'm still in my six month window to reactivate my naval commission. And if the chancellor decides to somehow override my decision, I'll just pack up my sea bag and go back to...well, let's see? The last threat I got for ruffling feathers was for immediate orders to Antarctica. Yeah, that was the last threat. I'll be going to Antarctica," he laughed. "I hear it's beautiful this time of year."