Debauchery on Faculty Row

"Let me talk to Clay and I'll get back to you, Chase. And if you see Harry, tell him we're all praying for him."

"I will. And thanks for the heads up, Kay.

"My pleasure. You're quickly becoming my hero," she laughed. "Anyone who can make that ugly vein in Zeigler's bald head throb is a god in my book. Talk to you later."

Chase was just hanging up when the nurse came looking for him.

"Doctor Brandt. Four stints, but he's doing very well. He's asked to see you."

"Thank God. That's wonderful. Where is he?"

"They're just bringing him up to the ICU." She was pointing the way. "They're going to keep him here for a few days."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

Chase rode up in the elevator and followed the signs to the ICU. He asked the nurse where he could find Doctor Billings. She pointed to his cubical as she rushed by to answer an ear piercing alarm.

When Chase stepped in, Billings was still dopey from the procedure, but looking a whole lot better than he had a couple of hours before.

"Hi, Doctor Billings? I'm Chase Brandt." He gripped Billing's tethered hand.

"Your reputation precedes you, Doctor Brandt," he laughed, then coughed and grabbed his chest.

"Are you ok?"

"Fine, thanks to you. Just a little sore. This sandbag weighs a ton."

"I just wanted to thank you in person, Doctor Brandt. If this happened a month ago, and they brought me into that accursed clinic, I'd be pushing up daisies. That quack you replaced had to slip out under the cloak of darkness before the law caught up with him. A real piece of work, the charlatan. Unfortunately, I took forever for me to go through a whole forest of bureaucratic bullshit to finally get rid of that piece of shit."

"Anyway, we weren't expecting you until next week. When I heard you were here, I was planning on coming by the clinic and introducing myself this afternoon. That's not quite how I planned on making my introductions, though," he laughed weakly.

"You came pretty close to being introduced to Saint Peter," Chase smiled. "And you're going to have to follow doctor's orders to the letter when you're released. You're not out of the woods yet."

"I will. I have no desire to take the hot seat in Saint Peter's court just yet."

"Aside from introductions, Doctor Brant, there was something else I wanted to discuss with you. A little bird tells me you're already having some issues with Zeigler?"

"Now's not the time to discuss that, Doctor Billings. You need to rest and recuperate. If need be, we can discuss that when you're up and around and feeling your old self again."

"And we will. But I just wanted to let you know that I know he's a dissociated, disconnected, dickhead. Everyone does. I may be getting older, but I'd like to think I have a pretty good handle on what goes on around campus. And I have a whole flock of little birdies who keep me well informed of Zeigler's antics. For the record, I usually let anything that pompous ass says go in one ear and out the other; the putz. If you have any further problems with him, you just give me a call."

"I appreciate that, Doctor. Thank you. But I've been down this road before. I can handle myself."

"Of that I have no doubt. I read your resume and credentials. Very impressive. But just in case, I wanted to let you know up front that you can count on me. That shithole clinic's been an embarrassment for far too long. And I understand from the regional director that you're just the man to turn it around. I'm not going to let Zeigler, or anyone else for that matter, stand in your way."

"Oh my God! Oh, Harry!" A shaken Missus Billings rushed in, out of breath and ghastly pale, and took her husband's hand. "Are you ok, Sweetheart!?"

"I'm going to be fine, Mary. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Mary, this is Doctor Brandt. He's the new medical director for the campus clinic. He got this old ticker started again today."

"Oh Dear God! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Doctor Brandt!" She smiled, rushed from her husband's bedside, grabbed Chase in a death grip hug, then kissed his cheek.

"I don't know what I'd do without that stodgy old pain in the ass," she smiled, patting Chase's chest.

"And you, Mister. I told you it was time to slow down. You almost gave me a heart attack! What's it going to take to get you to slow down, Harry?"

"I'll let you two visit, Doctor Billings. I need to get back to the clinic. And Kay McMillan sends her regards."

"She's a spunky little spark plug, that Kay," he smiled. "Thank her for me."

"Get well soon, Doctor Billings. Stop by and see me at the clinic when you're up and around. Missus Billings, it was very nice meeting you." Chase shook their hands, waved and was gone.

He hailed a cab outside the hospital and got back to the clinic around five. When he walked in, he got a standing ovation from the staff. He shifted their praises right back at them. They'd all done extremely well during the unfamiliar, to them anyway, situation. He was very proud of them.

"We make a good team," he smiled, shaking hands and patting backs.

"Tony, can I see you for a minute?"

"Sure, Chase." Tony followed him into his office.

"Have a seat."

"Did I do something wrong, Chase?"

"Not at all, Tony. But what happened out there today could have happened when me or one of the other doctors wasn't here. And you didn't do anything wrong. I know your specialty is clinical medicine. My question is; would you have any objections about going for some advanced cardiac life support training?"

"Not at all. I've been trying to get the training since I've been here. My requests were always denied. Not in the budget, they said."

"Well it won't be denied this time. As a matter of fact, I'm going to have all the NP's and the RN's take ongoing training. I saw in your file that you haven't certified in ALS since you were in school. And from now on, we're going to run regular drills to keep everyone's skills up to par, and we're going to double the AMA requirements and recertify annually. Luckily, Doctor Billings is going to be ok, but that could have gone south really quickly."

"I'm sorry, Chase."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Tony. You should have been given the training a long time ago. Believe me, this isn't a spanking. I have no problems at all with your work. I'm just trying to get a feel for what everyone needs and get it for them."

"Truth be told, I'm an ER doc. I'm trained for situations like that. But most of the staff, including the doctors, would definitely benefit from the training. Refresher is always good. If you don't use it-especially in this case where the vast majority of your patients are under twenty-five-you lose it. And they offer the training here on campus. I'm sure I can arrange something."

"I'm all for any training I can get."

"Good. As long as you're willing, you're aces. And don't hesitate to come to me if you have anything you're uncertain of. I have no problem at all with answering questions anytime; or lending a hand. I do, however, have a big problem with those who don't ask those questions and wind up in a mess. Asking questions is how you learn."

"So. Anything going on out there now?"

"I just finished dealing with yet another bad case of chlamydia," he chuckled. "Trying to get her to give Carol a list of those she's been in contact with was like pulling teeth."

"Ah, the wiles of youth," he laughed. "Go forth and save the world from the dreaded social diseases, Young Man," Chase laughed, standing to walk Tony out.

Chase sat back at his desk and checked the school catalog to see when the BLS and ACLS courses were offered, then looked up the number for the academic coordinator and gave her a call. It was midterms so the entire student body, the staff and the faculty were coming in early every morning and leaving late every night.

"Hi, Ms. Medina, this is Doctor Brandt at the student clinic. I was hoping to arrange for some of my staff to take the BLS and advanced ACLS courses. I see you're offering it during the summer semester. Would that be possible?"

"Yes. I'd like them all to take it. NP's and RN's. It's supposed to be a biennial certification, but apparently that hasn't been adhered to. Is getting them that certification training possible? Not all at once, of course."

"This week? I can do that. Just give me a call when you're free. Thank you very much."

Chase hung up smiling. She was very happy to help once the midterm nightmare settled down. All she needed was a list of names and she'd make it happen. She'd penciled him in for a meeting later in the week. He wished everyone was that easy to deal with. He just couldn't imagine why that hadn't been done years before. Another state and national requirement that had apparently been ignored. And yet another reason for the clinic to be shut down if they were audited.

He no sooner settled the handset on the phone when it rang in his hand. "Doctor Brandt. I believe we had a meeting at one PM. It's now six-ten."

"I'm afraid I had more pressing matters to attend to, Doctor Zeigler. And let me be very clear about something. Should any videos of me appear anywhere, or as some ill intended attempt to defame me or my character-or anyone else's character for that matter-when we do meet, it'll be with my attorney."

"I'd like to see you now; if that's possible." He had a conciliatory tone to his squeaky, feminine voice.

"I have a few minutes free right now. I can be there in ten minutes."

"Splendid. I'll see you then." He hung up without another word.

Regardless of Kay's warning to tread lightly, he wasn't going to handle this asshole with kid gloves. He'd blown that privilege with his repulsive, childish theatrics in the faculty dining room. Not to mention stooping to filming that ridiculous video.

"Carol, I've been called to the principal's office," he laughed. "I may or may not be back in a while if anyone's looking for me."

"Don't worry. Unlike you, they don't use corporal punishment in the ivory towers anymore, Chase," she laughed.

"Damn! That's the part I was looking forward to! And you just keep in mind that one more infraction and you'll be standing instead of sitting for a while." They both chuckled as he headed out the door and across the quad.

When he got to the admin wing, Kay's office was dark. He turned back and went to the gilded nightmare at the end of the hall. Talk about pomp and circumstance. Zeigler's office looked like an explosion in an Egyptian pharaoh's tomb.

Ancient bugs of numerous species, encased in glass shadowboxes, lined the walls. Framed prints of pyramids and strange, massive, bug models hung haphazardly throughout the tomb. He even had a life size sarcophagus with a massive scarab molded into it standing in the corner, eerily illuminated by track lighting. All in all, his outer office was downright creepy. He could only imagine what the douchbag's house looked like.

A prim and proper looking secretary stood guard over the eerie museum.

"Hello. I'm Doctor Brandt. Doctor Zeigler asked to see me."

"Yes. Have a seat, please, Doctor Brandt. He's with someone right now. He should be finished soon."

"Thank you."

Ten minutes, Chase said to himself. He'd wait Ten minutes, then he was gone. They may play these childish, whose dick is bigger games in academia, but he had more important things to do.

Hold your temper, Brandt, he warned himself. Don't lose your shit until he shows his hand.

"Doctor Brandt. He'll see you now."

"Thank you," Chase said, rising. Seven minutes. He didn't see anyone leave the office, but he'd let it slide. Maybe Zeigler's office had a back door.

"Close the door, Doctor," Zeigler said evenly. "Sit, please." He did.

"I'm going to get straight to the point, Doctor. You fired my sister on your first, full day. You certainly haven't had sufficient time to evaluate her work in that amount of time. I want to know what grounds you feel you had to discharge her after one day."

"Doctor Zeigler, as you well know I'm not at liberty to discuss all the circumstances with you; sister or not."

"However, for the record, I personally experienced her rude, unacceptable behavior and attitude first hand. Not to mention a vocabulary that nearly made me blush."

"And I also know that she was receiving RN's pay, but working, by her own accord, as a receptionist. Not to mention that she was acting as, and performing as, the self-appointed medical director-a job an RN isn't qualified to fill. The clinic was a pigsty, the staff were all browbeaten and demoralized and frankly, after seeing her file, and seeing that two prior attempts were made to fire her on similar grounds, I believe I was well within my rights to let her go."

"I didn't realize that?"

He was lying through his teeth. Chase knew it. If Bug Boy wanted to play cat and mouse, Chase was one of the best. He sat back, a smile crossing his face, and prepared for battle.

"Frankly, had you'd asked me my reasons when we both had time for this meeting, instead of summoning me, and then causing that ridiculous scene in the faculty dining room I'd have told you."

"I apologize for that. It's just been one of those days. And you're quite correct. Summon isn't exactly a very polite verb. And to show you there's no hard feelings, I lit a fire under the campus maintenance chief to hurry up and get your house finished. I hope you'll except my sincere and heartfelt apology."

Chase knew then and there that Zeigler had gotten the four-one-one about Billings. "I appreciate that. And thank you." Fuck you very much, Asshole.

"And I must say, I went over to the clinic this afternoon to see you. I was quite impressed by how much better it looks already."

"Thank you. It's slowly starting to come along."

"Lastly, Doctor, and the main reason I asked to see you was to let you know that we have at our disposal an outstanding outside accounting concern whose services I'd like to make available to you."

"I realize, given the nightmare that you've just walked into, that this accounting firm could take that major, tiresome, burden off of your shoulders and make your life a little less hectic. You definitely have your hands full with revamping our clinic. I'm afraid I realized far too late that your predecessor let a great deal go to seed over there. He used this accounting firm to handle the clinic's expenses and I vehemently recommend you utilize them, too. It makes the congruency between departments that much more transparent."

"I appreciate that, Doctor, but I prefer to handle accounting myself. I see a lot that needs to be done, and that I'd like to get done in the clinic. I may have to rob Peter to pay Paul in some instances until I can get the spending regulated. Those will have to be medically based decisions.

Zeigler was trying to hide an even more perturbed look on his arachnid face. Beads of sweat broke out on his pronounced brow. Even his coke bottle glasses were vibrating on his hook nose. Kay's comment about making the vein in his head throb caused Chase to have to rein in a laugh. It looked like something alive under the pallid, hairless, dome. He looked to be teetering on the brink of a meltdown. Something had him extremely nervous.

Zeigler paused, collecting his thoughts, thinking carefully about what to say next.

"Fine. Fine. That's entirely your call, or course." His voice had a distinct quiver to it. "I'm fairly certain, however, that this firm has a medical expert on their staff. As a matter of fact, I'm quite certain they do. As I mentioned, the doctor you replaced swore by their professionalism. They're a very big group."

"I'd still prefer to make those decisions myself, thank you."

Why was he pushing for an outside firm that would obviously need to be paid? And a big firm didn't come cheaply. Just more budget money that was already tight, paid out for something he'd rather do himself. Balancing the books and directing spending were major parts of his job. And the university was already paying him handsomely for doing that job.

"That's your call of course, Doctor. Just know that option is always available to you. And I, personally, would prefer it if you utilized their services so we can keep everything instantly accessible and well in hand."

"I managed the budget for an entire military hospital with congressional oversight, Doctor Zeigler. I can assure you I'm very capable of keeping everything well in hand."

"Of course, of course. As I said. It's entirely your call, Doctor Brandt."

Something was worrying Zeigler. Unless that was just his reaction to being one upped and having his plans to have Chase fired thwarted, there was something deeply troubling the weaselly little man.

"Well, Doctor Brandt, I'm glad we had this chance to meet. Things were a little rushed when we met at State. And I apologize for any misunderstandings we may have had." He looked like a man who'd gotten a severe spanking from higher up. He tried to crack a phony smile with a face that it was obvious hadn't smiled since his last prostate exam.

"Oh! One more thing, Doctor. As to your earlier concerns, I can assure you that I have no video of you. I don't know where you heard that rumor; but it's scuttlebutt. False rumors tend to run rampant on a university campus; as you'll soon learn."

"There. See? I know a little nautical vernacular, Captain. Scuttlebutt." And he was off again with the strained, nearly maniacal half grin. Chase stifled another laugh. Zeigler was a dead ringer for the warped and twisted Mister Burns from The Simpsons."

"Good. As long as we have an understanding. Now. If there's nothing else, I really need to get back to the clinic for the shift change. Is there anything else?"

"No. That's all. But I strongly urge you to reconsider using our accounting firm when you've had time to think it over. I'd really prefer you take advantage of their services. I can't stress to you enough the importance of meticulous accounting. Thank you for coming." With a wave of his claw-like hand, Chase was summarily dismissed.

Chase was done sparring with the aloof, ridiculous little man anyway. Chase had made himself quite clear. The insinuation that Chase was somehow incapable of maintaining the budget pissed him off, but this ass clown wasn't worth his breath. Pick your battles, Brandt. "Thank you, Doctor. Good night."

Chase chuckled all the way back to the clinic. He knew the boorish little prick had a video. How else would Kay have heard that he walked Abby home? He'd watch his back, but he had a feeling his troubles with Zeigler were over.

Little did he realize that they were just beginning.

***************

He got back to the clinic at six-forty-five and decided it was time for an in-depth budget review. He'd been so busy getting the place cleaned up and restocked he hadn't had time to really dig into the way funds had been allocated before he arrived. And Zeigler's nervous antics regarding accounting during their terse meeting concerned him. Bug Boy was more worried about the way Chase intended to handle the books than he was over his sister's dismissal. He didn't trust the unstable little man as far as he could throw him; and their conversation just made him all the more wary.

As soon as he glanced at the prior year's expenditure sheets, he knew it was going to be a long night. The figures he was seeing as soon as he brought the file up on his computer screen were all over the place: and a whole lot of the strange expenditures concerned him immediately. It was the shoddiest, most disorganized bookkeeping he'd ever seen. It certainly wasn't done by any professional accountant.

Not to mention that after that unsettling close call with Doctor Billings, he realized he'd have to broaden his thinking about the clinic's overall needs. It became blatantly obvious that they weren't only dealing with a student demographic. He'd need to find a way to eke out the funds from an already tight budget to gear up to handle staff and faculty emergencies; or anyone else who needed medical treatment on the sprawling campus. He knew from the figures he was seeing that the clinic ambulance and the trauma bay stayed pretty busy during football and hockey season. That much he'd already anticipated.