Debauchery on Faculty Row

The information he'd received before he arrived showed a very minuscule percentage of patients over the age of twenty-five utilizing the clinic for minor things like sutures or sore throats, but this was the first recorded heart attack. Of course, given the record keeping he was seeing, he doubted he could trust any of it.

Doctor Billing's near death that day, not to mention the potential emergencies probable from a lot of the old, flabby, fossils he'd seen inhaling fatty foods in the faculty dining room, made gearing up to full ER status in the trauma bay a must.

Another knock at the door. He was going to have to take the paperwork back to the hotel with him if he ever wanted to get anything done. The clinic's bookkeeping was kept on a dedicated server in the IT room. Chase's access to it from outside wasn't possible just yet. He made a note to call IT and ask them to set him up with a secure VPN so he'd be able to access records from the hotel, or any other time he was off campus. For now he hit the print button for the entire prior year's budget folder and called out.

"Come in."

"Doctor Brandt. We're almost done clearing out the on call rooms. There's a few things in there that we need to know what to do with. Can you give us a minute?"

"Sure. Just give me five minutes and I'll be there."

Chase waited for the numerous sheets to finish printing, and was just going through one of the expenditure columns for the pharmacy when he noticed a major expense for flu shots from back in August. He made a note to talk to Gwen in the morning. If they'd administered that many flu shots they certainly wouldn't have had that many cases of the flu on campus. For a change, the predicted seasonal strains and the vaccine were a nearly perfect match that year. The numbers just didn't jibe. He'd almost shit when he read in the scant data they'd sent him on the number of flu cases they'd seen in the clinic over the prior six months.

He made short work of telling the maintenance crew what to keep and what to toss. The vast majority of it should have been tossed years before. Just like in his office, some of the stuff in there dated back decades. The few viable things he had moved to the actual storeroom. That, too, was in dire need of a complete cleaning and restocking. He'd see if the two guys he was paying to clean up the on-call rooms would be willing to take on that momentous task.

"By the way. Are you the folks I need to speak with about getting beds and dressers in these two rooms?"

"Beds as in clinic beds; or like student beds, Doc?"

"Student beds and dressers. These rooms are going to be returned to the on-call rooms they were originally intended to be for the duty shift. They'll be working three day stretches here soon."

"That's something we can help you with, Doc. Loads of student dorm furniture in the main warehouse. Do you want these showers, sinks and toilets in working order, too?"

"How much extra is that going to cost?" Chase laughed.

"That's all covered under the regular campus building maintenance budget, Doc. Just write a ticket and we'll knock it out."

"Then absolutely! Please! They'll be tickled to not have to use the communal shower in the locker rooms. I really appreciate this, guys. Thank you."

"Oh! One more thing. We need new locks on these doors. The staff will have three days' worth of personal effects in there while they're on duty. They'll need their privacy. Can you do that, too?"

"Consider it done. We carry those on our truck. That'll just take a few minutes."

"Thanks a lot. And these rooms look fantastic. You guys did a great job."

The fresh paint smell in the bright, clean looking rooms tickled Chase. The entire clinic was looking more and more like a medical facility every day.

As he walked down the corridor, he saw Abby behind a curtain, tending to a patient with an apparent head abrasion.

He stuck his head in, about to say hello, when Abby noticed him and turned her back to him briskly; an unreadable look on her beautiful face. When he said hello, she completely ignored him. He just closed the curtain and went back to his office; head down. It appeared that just what he'd hoped wouldn't happen; happened. But what other choice did he have? Leave her there to fend for herself; saturated in her own bile? A sudden, deep sadness washed over him.

He was lost again in work, oblivious to anything else, trying to forget what just happened with Abby when yet another knock came at the door. It was after midnight.

"Come," he called, not looking up from his computer screen.

"Can we talk, Chase?"

"Of course we can. Come on in, Otis." An instant smile replaced the frown that only seconds before occupied his face and his mood.

"Otis?"

"Campbell. The Andy Griffith show? Otis Campbell? The town drunk?"

"That was mean," she giggled, sitting down.

"Please don't interrupt me, Chase. I've been running this through my head all day. I need to get it all out before I start to cry again."

"Sure, Abby." Chase leaned back in his chair, his arms folded across his chest, staring intently at the beautiful little woman.

"I am so ashamed of myself, and so very sorry about what happened last night. I was totally out of line and what I did was totally irresponsible. Trust me. I'm nothing like that. I was just having such a good time with you and I got carried away. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." She stopped dead.

"Are you done?"

"Well...yeah?"

"Abby, if you had even an inkling of how unnecessary that apology was, you'd laugh. So what? So you tied one on? You blew chunks? So what?"

"And, for the record, Ma'am; I totally and completely enjoyed your lively, refreshing company both nights."

"Those things happen, Abby. You know that as well as I do. It's not like you got obnoxious, stripped to the waist and started a bar fight," he laughed.

"Oh God! I didn't, did I?" she giggled.

"Abby, be honest with me. Were you having a good time before your stomach went rogue?"

"Of course I was. Probably the best time I've had in a very long time. But Chase, you had to undress me and clean me up. Oh my God! I'm just so mortified!"

"You shouldn't be. You just admitted that you had a good time. And it's not like you had an Uber driver undress you and hose you down," he laughed. That got a blush encrusted smile out of her.

"I've had the best time I've had in ages the two nights we went out together, Abby. I find you intriguing. You're so smart, so laid back and so much fun to be around. And, let's face it, that shower was no more than if one of your girlfriends did it for you," he lied. "I mean; I am a doctor."

"A very handsome doctor who I find I'm very attracted to."

Her big, beautiful brown eyes instantly got as big as saucers as her tiny hands immediately rushed to her face. He tried not to laugh. It was obvious that she'd let that unintended tidbit slip out accidentally. Her blush was sheer artistry.

"That's very mutual, Abby. It's just not something I wanted to mention today for fear of embarrassing you: given the circumstances last night. Not that you have anything to be embarrassed about."

"So you did peek!" She was giggling and blushing at the same time.

"I said I was a doctor. I'm not dead," he laughed. "You're extremely beautiful and incredibly sweet, Abby. And a whole lot of fun to be around. And unless you're mad at me, I'd very much like to see you again."

"I was never mad at you, Chase. What you did for me...you were such a gentleman. I even had puke in my nether regions for heaven sake! I can't imagine how that even got there. Oh my God!" She was blushing so deeply he was afraid she'd faint.

"I mean, I could have been in a world of trouble if you were some psycho sex fiend or something."

"I hope I don't give anyone that impression...outwardly," he laughed. "I try to keep that side of me under wraps." He winked at her, laughing.

She was laughing, too. "No. You don't give off that impression at all. You give off quite a different vibe. And if you're sure you'd like to see me again, after my two nights of drunken stupidity, I'd very much like to go out with you again."

"Can we make it a date instead of dinner with a colleague?"

"I'd like that very much!" Her smile stretched from ear to ear. "But first I have to make a confession."

"Augh oh. Well, I know for a fact you're not a man." He laughed. She blushed. "My first year anatomy lessons aren't that rusty."

"No, I'm not a man," she giggled!

"Chase, I have a nanny cam in my apartment. And no; it's not to keep an eye on my cat twenty-four-seven. I'm not one of those crazy cat ladies. It's for home protection. There's been some break-ins on campus recently so I bought one-just in case."

"I was checking the video when I woke up this afternoon and I saw that you and Erwin have become pretty tight in the last two nights," she laughed.

"We're old friends, me and Erwin. He's just like me. Feed him and rub his belly and he'll follow you anywhere." Now they were both laughing.

"That says a lot, Chase. At least by my standards. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat animals. And I was passed out, and you didn't know you were being watched and you were just talking to him and playing with him. You even fed him."

"I love animals. Always have. I'm more of a dog kinda guy myself but they're all fun to have around."

"I'm a dog person myself. My ex left Erwin there when he ran off with one of his students."

"I'm so sorry, Abby. I didn't know."

"Because you're a gentleman and you didn't pry."

"I figured that if you had something you wanted me to know, you'd tell me."

"Can I break that protocol for a moment and ask you something very personal?"

"Sure. I have nothing to hide. Ask Kay in HR. She sifted through my folder in case there was anything in there Zeigler could use against me...oh, that leads me to another problem."

"What's that?"

He went on to tell her about the video. She was initially as appalled as he was. But like him, after the initial flash of anger passed and she had time to consider it, her conclusion was the same as his. The implications were ridiculous. What consenting adults do on their own time is no one else's business.

"Well, for the record, it's a non issue. Zeigler and I have gone a few shadow rounds since I got here, but for some reason he was as meek as a lamb when I finally went to see him in person this evening. He gives me the creeps, but I think any future skirmishes with him will be minor."

"So Brunhilda's really gone for good?"

"Oh, yeah. And I wouldn't be surprised to find out she's the one who took the video."

"She's such a bitch," Abby barked. "Good riddance. If you hadn't gotten rid of her, I swear I'd have been looking for a new job. And I have a feeling a few of the others would have been right behind me."

"Chase, our seeing each other won't cause any problems for you with admin, will it?"

"No. Contrary to old Bug Face's interpretation of moral turpitude, I read through the faculty code of ethics as soon as I heard about his ridiculous charges. There's absolutely nothing in the rules about faculty dating. Beside the fact; while I'm loosely considered faculty, you're not. You're classified as auxiliary staff. Now it gets very specific where faculty and students dating is concerned; but that's definitely not the case.

"Anyway. What is it you wanted to ask me?"

"Ok. Here goes. And tell me to mind my own business if you want to." She was biting her lower lip again. Chase thought it was the most endearing thing he'd ever seen.

"Chase, You're not married, are you? I mean, you're here, now, all alone and everything, but you're not expecting your wife to arrive once your house back there is finished, are you?"

"God no. And I never have been. Between medical school, my time in the service and life in general, I never had the time to truly dedicate to anyone."

"Being a navy wife is a nightmare. I never met anyone I hated enough to subject them to that," he laughed. "And if this is going where I hope it's going, Abby, always know that you can ask me anything. I have no secrets. And believe me, my own personal ethics would never allow me to lead you on that way. I'm just not wired like that."

"Next question? Go ahead. Shoot," he chuckled.

"Ok. Here goes. How old are you, Chase?"

"Thirty-four."

"Wow! I mean, I gave you a physical. I've seen that buff, gorgeous body of yours. I'd have guessed twenty-five, twenty-six, tops."

"When I realized that I was hoping to see you again, I thought I might be robbing the cradle," she laughed. "Total disclosure: after some serious soul searching, I decided I'd be absolutely fine with robbing the cradle in your case!" There was that beautiful, lighthearted giggle. It had the same all-encompassing, warming effect on him.

"Now who peeked!" he laughed.

"I'm a nurse practitioner, Chase. I'm not dead!" Another burst of giggles. "And you, Sir, are just plain hot!"

"Thank you; I think. If it's any consolation, I have the mentality of a twelve year old so it all balances out. And I admit that I peeked in your file so I know you're thirty-two."

"You wear it better than I do."

"I beg to differ. You gave me a physical, but I saw all of you in the shower," he laughed.

"I hope you liked what you saw?" There was that beautiful blush again. God she did it for him in so many ways.

"Immensely. I truly meant what I said, Abby. You're an extremely beautiful woman. Hanging out with you is just so relaxing and so enjoyable. I haven't laughed as much as I have in our two evenings together for as long as I can remember."

"Neither have I, Chase. And I loved every minute. And to thank you for those two wonderful evenings, how about if I fix you dinner at my place tomorrow night?"

"I'd love that. Can I bring anything?"

"I'll get everything. Just bring yourself," she laughed.

"I've got to get back out there. Apparently, Tony diagnosed a case of chlamydia earlier today and a long line of her admirers are showing up in droves, hoodie hoods over their heads, mumbled check-ins and all of them trying to hide under the cloak of darkness."

"That explains the pharmacy's expenditures for azithromycin," he laughed. "I was thinking earlier that setting up a prophylactic dispensary might be a good idea."

"They won't use them. No matter how hard you preach, they don't listen. Chlamydia has been running rampant on campus for as long as I've been here. It's been almost as bad as the flu cases."

"Sad, isn't it? Maybe I should get some of those old Navy venereal disease movies and have them show them as a short before the regular movie in the campus theater."

"Lots of luck getting that idea past the holier than thou staff and alumni."

"They can't all be that stiff."

"Ha! In public they could be the before picture in an ad for constipation medications. Behind closed doors, however, they could make even the most amorous students die of embarrassment. Lots of weird and kinky things take place on Faculty Row...from what I hear." She was quick to add the from what I hear disclaimer. "And, total disclosure, my ex was a regular visitor to what some of us refer to as Debauchery Row."

Fearing he'd be getting too personal, and after hearing Kay mention Faculty Row in the same light, he thought better of it and let the question about to roll off the tip of his tongue fade. There'd be time to ask those questions another time.

"I don't want to know," Chase laughed. "I have to face them in the faculty dining room every day."

*********************

The next time Chase looked at his watch, it was five AM. Unfortunately, the last thing on his mind was sleep. He was finding numerous, blatant irregularities in the spending and costs sheets from the prior year: and some were outrageous. The deeper he looked, the worse they became.

He was certain of his earlier suspicions that no highbrow accounting firm was keeping the books. Outlandish expenditures for supplies that a massive hospital in a major city couldn't use in a year were ordered, in bulk, almost monthly. Drugs in quantities far beyond the standard on hand requirements; remodeling and repair bills paid that he knew were never done. The list went on and on.

He didn't know what was going on, but he was determined to get to the bottom of it. He continued digging: more confused and determined than ever.

He had almost two legal pads full of notes; and he was only half way through the numbers for the previous year. The tally so far amounted in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. They'd even supposedly paid for a brand new digital Xray machine the year before. While they had a digital Xray set up in their Xray room, it had to be almost ten years old. He'd looked up the technician's report from when she'd been in a month before to do the calibrations and adjustments. This was bad. Really bad.

At seven, his phone rang. It was Kay.

"Well I see you're still here," she chuckled. "How did it go?"

"He must have gotten word about Doctor Billings between his childish tantrum in the faculty dining room and when I met with him in his office. He said he came over here to talk to me while I was at the hospital so I'm sure he got the, as he calls it, scuttlebutt, from one of the staff. Butter would have melted on his forked tongue. He was apologetic, even."

"Oh, this is great!" She was chipper: laughing. "I never thought I'd live to see the day when that pompous ass got knocked down a peg."

"Four days, Chase! You've been here for four days and already you've upset the apple cart! Something Clay and I have been trying to do for years. The whole faculty is all abuzz about you putting him in his place in the dining room."

"I wouldn't count him out just yet, Kay. And while I have you, let me ask you a question. Do you know what the single item expenditure limit for the clinic is before it needs approval from higher up?"

"I wouldn't know, Chase, but I can find out. Stephanie in accounting is my best friend. I'll give her a call. Are you planning on buying something big? Now might be just the right time with Harry Billings in your corner."

"No. Not yet anyway. I just wondered what it was."

"Well give me a little bit and I'll call Steph. I'll get back to you."

"Thanks, Kay. Have a good day."

Another knock at the door. "Come!"

"Well will wonders never cease? I had to see it for myself. You're still here?"

"You're even beautiful after a twelve hour shift," he smiled.

"And you're nuts," she blushed, hiding a smile. "I must look a fright."

"Not a chance. You're just plain gorgeous, Lady."

"And to answer your question: yes, I'm still here. I expect there'll be a whole lot of all nighters for a while. I need to get a handle on everything that goes on around here. Someone has to make sure you hooligans aren't up to no good," he laughed.

"I admire your dedication. And, for the record, your small changes, as you so humbly call them, have made you a huge hit among the staff. It's just so nice to see them all smiling and happy again. Thank you for that."

"I hope to bring a whole lot more smiles to the staff's faces as time goes on."

"Well you've certainly brought one to my face. There's just something about you, Mister."

"Well I'm glad you approve. If you didn't, then there'd be that whole stalking, restraining order thing," he laughed. "So messy."

"There'll be no need for that. Unless you're really Mister Hyde hidden under that handsome, Doctor Dreamy, façade of yours."

"Doctor Dreamy, huh?" he laughed again.

"And you, Sir, should close up that laptop and go and get some sleep. For the record, you look like a million bucks after, what: a twenty-four-hour shift?"