All Comments on 'Deceptively Easy'

5 stars! A very nice story. I enjoyed reading about their discoveries of each other. I liked the story line. I suppose you write as you would like the world to be. That way, you write for your pleasure. I enjoyed the path you took and the way the characters realized their worth in each other. If only we could see that in people instead of seeking self satisfaction. I will look for more of your stories and thanks for your time and imagination.

There are three ingredients to a story that I find essential for a good tale: good character development, good plot and good dialog. The dialog was fair, but the other two ingredients were really a bust. Our heroine was a bona fide loser. Elmer was obviously bad news, but Ethan wasn't much better. (By the way it would be much easier on the reader if you wouldn't have two of the main characters with names that were very similar. Ethan and Elmer - two names starting with "E" and have two syllables each.) If Ethan was a real worthwhile person he wouldn't be chasing a nit wit like Becky. Can you imagine her giving Elmer her apartment key to pick up what he felt she owed him? First of all, those were all presents from him to her and she didn't need to return anything at all. Even the engagement ring return is a courtesy she didn't have to grant him. Legally, I'm sure she could have gotten an injunction to keep him away and she could have kept everything. And Dumb Dora should have told Sally that she came home to find her screwing her fiancee. Why did she act so politely? All in all I think Ethan could do a lot better than Becky and he should keep on moving. 3* and that's generous.

Nice feel-good story. We can see Becky's desirability through Ethan's eyes.

To (the aptly named) Overcritical: you sound just like Elmer. He would have gotten an injunction if anyone had gone for his stuff. Becky just wanted to wash her hands of him. Ethan understood that, but I can see why you couldn't.

I love a feel good happy ending story. It's pretty simple really. I like your voice and way of setting out the details. So keep it up.

When you feel more confident, go deeper into the feelings and motivations. Or make the characters more complex. One example would be to make the Elmer character just a little more likeable. The villain is more interesting if he isn't all bad.

But whatever you do, keep telling stories!

R.

I liked the story but considered it way too simple for the characters backgrounds as we were told about them. Elmer was a sleazy lawyer who stole from his money-hiding clients. Ethan was educated as a biologist. Becky is a part of a product research management team so she is also educated. But the dumb bunny gives her house key to her ex-lover? Elmer and is amazed when she is completely ripped off? He knows she is with Ethan and still tries to get her to pay for his "lost" honeymoon? When did she turn into an idiot?

The comments are great. More character development seems to be the greatest skill I need to master in this piece. Some readers caught on that Becky was willing to do whatever she needed to do to rid herself of Elmer, including giving him access to her apartment- she simply didn't want to be near him at all or any of his friends. She had given away far too much of herself- job, friends, and trust.

Her relationship with Ethan while he attended the parties should have been elaborated upon- their relationship was part of what focused Elmer's attention on her and why Ethan was pushed out. Ethan was a competitor and Elmer knew if Becky continued to spend time with him she would find another path- one that led this beautiful woman out of his reach.

Becky is a smart woman that fell in love with a man that showed some good qualities at first, but it was only near the time of her engagement that she began to see things she didn't really like in a long term marriage commitment. Sometimes that happens in an engagement period. Better character development as was suggested would definitely improve the story. Thanks for those comments.

Break-ups aren't easy

Becky was lucky to find out that Elmer wasn't the person whom she'd planned to marry. We find out that Ethan has morals, is affectionate, helpful, smart, and passionate. What more could a girl want? I thoroughly enjoyed this story.

liked

Great story, real life, break up pain and romance-well done

Really enjoyed the story. Good description of the erotica and used imagination to fill on character gaps. *****

Typical fare from a cunt writer!!

Cheating assholes end up as romance