All Comments on 'Dee's At the Slave Hunt Ch. 02'

Your grammar, narrative and point of view are awful it jumbles up the entire thing making a real mess of it. How can her b/f narrate something he isn’t present for? Why not just write things from Dee’s perspective and have the input from her b/f as conversation?

This does has a lot of potential but the way it’s presented just pulls it down.

Tess (uk)