Devotia Ch. 12: Reflections

Cirene fights her response to hide, looking down at Callie's neck to avoid meeting her eyes. "I've met him before..." she says. "We've spoken a few times at events." She takes a quick breath, holding her words in her mouth carefully before quietly squeaking, "He's very handsome."

"I can get you a proper introduction, if you want," Callie says without thinking. "He'd think you're cute."

"You... you'd do that?"

Callie pauses, suddenly realizing what she'd just implied. "Yeah..." she answers slowly, feeling a small bubbling of jealousy inside. Quickly, she searches for a reason to reject the idea but it doesn't come. It's not like she could say he was taken... Devotia's weren't supposed to have relationships and she'd basically rejected him last time they spoke. And she couldn't just ask him not to see other people when she was actively with someone else.

Her breath freezes in her mouth and it takes effort to force it out. Callie had wondered if he was seeing other people, she'd even asked him before in a moment of anxiousness. Calvin had always replied that he wasn't, that he didn't find anyone as interesting as her, and she took the compliment happily. But after last time... what if he wanted to see someone else?

Callie looks away from Cirene, tilting her gaze up towards the high ceiling above. He isn't with you, a voice says inside. Who are you to ask him not to sleep with anyone else?

Rookwell quickly bumps into her awareness. She'd pushed away the initial shame of not being loyal to Calvin and Calvin alone, finally embracing the fluidity of relationships she now embodied, but part of her never was able to drop the assumption that he would be loyal to her. She'd never asked him to, and she knew it was just a remnant of her upbringing... but a small part of her was always holding out hope that they could end up together some day, that maybe Devotia could retire and he would wait for her.

"Gods, I've never told anyone that," Cirene exhales, bringing Callie back to focus. "I feel like I've thought about him for so long."

Callie's stomach churns slightly. "He's great."

Cirene scoots back into Callie, looking free and light and relaxed. She seems so much more comfortable in the afterglow, and Callie envies her for it. "And you're sure he's into threaded girls?"

"He is with me," Callie replies absently. She'd never asked if he'd been with any others. Callie could never bring herself to ask about his other endeavors.

Cirene sighs contentedly. "I think this might be the best day of my life."

Callie forces herself to shake away the aching feeling inside, returning to focus on the lovely girl beside her, basking in the glow of her new self. "You deserve it," Callie smiles, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"You probably have to leave now, don't you?"

Callie exhales a long and slow breath, sitting up from the sofa. "I suppose so." She stretches her arms wide, trying to recompose herself.

"That makes sense," Cirene nods, sitting up and wrapping her arms around Callie's torso sweetly. "I'll never be able to thank you enough."

"And you'll never need to," Callie smiles, hugging her back and kissing the top of her head.

"Can you thank Mykah again for me?" She asks, sincere and grateful. "And tell him that I'll try and figure out how to set up the patronage as soon as I can."

"Of course," Callie replies, pulling Cirene's shirt back over her breasts and reaching over to pick up her trousers from the floor.

"And if you're serious about introducing me to the Knight-Commander..." Her voice trails off, nervous and suggestive.

"I'll figure something out," Callie answers. She stands and retrieves her own dress, stepping into it and pulling it up over her. She takes another deep breath, feeling the subtle burn in her muscles from the exertion and savoring the warm sensation.

"If you head down the hall," Callie points, "you should be able to run into Civa, a priestess. She can help you get cleaned up, and I even had her pull a lovely dress from my wardrobe that should look gorgeous on you."

"Thank you," Cirene squeaks happily, hugging Callie a final time. Eager, she kisses the Devotia quickly before scurrying off down the hallway.

Feeling more tired already than she cared to admit, Callie exits the room as well, heading the opposite direction as Cirene, strolling towards the lounging area she was certain Mykah would be in. A small part of her still dreads the deal she's made with Cirene, hoping that Calvin wouldn't be interested for her sake.

Callie takes her time making her way towards Mykah, giving herself some space to reset her mind from the experience. The day feels so long already despite only being mid-afternoon, and she hopes the rest of her time with her friend will feel significantly less draining.

- - -

Callie does find Mykah in the room she was expecting, strolling in to spot him lounging happily on a balcony, feet dangling over the edge as Salome's voice cackles across the room.

"Hal Devotia said that?" Salome giggles loudly.

"Before she was threaded she'd say shit like that all the time," Mykah laughs easily and happily. Despite sometimes being over passionate and academic with his study, most of the time he was so cool and casual and easy to talk to. Callie is hardly surprised he and Salome hit it off so quickly. "'Mykah, do you think anyone else feels this way?'" He imitates, hardly able to contain his glee.

Callie folds her arms and watches for a few moments, immediately recognizing the story he's telling. She smiles a little as well, far less embarrassed than she probably would've been in her first days at Solva. According to Mykah, it was pretty obvious to everyone but Callie that she wanted to be threaded; and now that she wasn't in Rookwell anymore it's easier to accept.

"I can barely remember her being that shy," Salome smiles with him, "After her first week or two she's been insatiable as Devotia."

"And I still can't believe it," Mykah's warm voice bounces.

Salome gasps, delightedly recalling a piece of gossip. "Have you heard about what happened at Lady Pendele's banquet!?"

"No," Mykah's eyes bulge, "but I can't wait to."

"I had a threesome in a hallway," Callie calls out from behind them, startling both and nearly sending Mykah tumbling off the railing. He and Salome turn back, laughing loudly and waving her to join them. Callie struts over, leaning into a column beside them and grinning proudly. "Junivere made me jealous and so I fucked the person throwing the banquet and her husband to get back at her."

Mykah snickers. "How is that supposed to show her up?"

"I don't know," Callie shakes her head, "I was all worked up."

"I'm sure hal Devotia has been helping relieve that," Salome giggles, eyes pointing towards Junivere's room.

Callie smiles and feels her face flush. "Salome, would you be a dear and go assist my previous guest in cleaning up?"

"You're just embarrassed I know how horny you are," Salome cackles. "Of course, hal Devotia."

"Thanks, dear," Callie smirks. "See you at dinner later?'

Salome nods, friendly and enthusiastic. "I'll want details," she whispers, gesturing towards Mykah who blushes as well. Callie nods, waving her away to go pester Cirene for the juicy details of their time together. She grins, thinking about the cute blush that'll consume Cirene's face at how forward the priestesses are.

"Hey," Mykah greets her at last, watching Salome exit.

"Hey," Callie smiles back, climbing up to join him on the railing, feet hooking back into the banister to keep from falling.

"Should I even ask?" He nods back towards the priestess.

"Surprisingly not with Salome," Callie concedes. She sighs, shaking her head in mild disbelief. "Who would've ever thought this would be my life?"

"Not me," Mykah snorts. His short, dark, coily hair shines softly in the sunlight. A little bead of sweat from the heat drips across his forehead, sliding down his warm and dark brown skin. "I still remember how terrified you were to tell me that Vermelle gave you a blowjob. I swear you thought you'd be flogged on the spot."

"It wasn't even a good one," Callie mutters, feeling a bit nostalgic.

Mykah grins. "How you holding up?"

"I'm okay," Callie sighs. "Actually, I think I'm doing pretty well. I hated all of this at first, but lately it's felt more... I'm not sure. It feels good." She looks over, seeing the knowing gleam in his eyes. "And yes, I do enjoy the sex."

"I'll bet." He rocks back and forth slightly, enjoying the cool breeze that rustles their clothes. "Other than the job, what's big in your life these days?"

"A lot, I guess. This is weird," she sighs, "I'm so used to you always being the first person I tell things to."

"I miss that," he places a hand on hers, squeezing it lightly. "Tell me about your partner, the other Devotia. What's her deal?"

"Junivere," Callie confirms. "She's intense. First few days she was here, we hated each other so much. But, when she accidently found out I was threaded..." she sees his face and quickly says, "long story... Anyway, she softened a bit after that. She's been Devotia for seven years or so, so she's been guiding me on how to survive and do well."

"Seems cool."

"Yeah," Callie smiles politely. "It's... it's pretty lonely sometimes. Everyone has to keep their distance and we can't let them in very often. Junivere is pretty much the only person I can really spend as much time as I want with and not have it cause a scandal."

"Gods that sucks," Mykah shakes his head.

"It'd be terrible without her. But, I'm so grateful she's here." She lets a mischievous smile decorate her face, turning to him and adding, "She's a big part of why I'm so comfortable being physical now."

Mykah laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. "Now that's got to be a scandal."

"You'd think," Callie grins. "Obviously don't tell people that."

"Secret is safe with me," he places a hand on his heart. "Speaking of secrets, I hear you've got a boyfriend."

"Don't even get me started," she sighs, lowering her head into her hands. "That one is so complicated now." Thankfully, Mykah elects not to pry, giving her a moment to collect herself. "What about you? What've you been up to?"

"After we left Rookwell," he begins, his hand waving to follow his story, "I hid out in the woods for a while. You remember that my dad used to teach me that shit, so I was pretty comfortable for a few days. Found a nice cave, hunted some rabbits, made a stew, it was good."

"What then?"

"You know me," he grins, "I gotta be around people. I figured I couldn't go back home, so I made my way slowly down towards Daymare, doing some odd jobs for a little while."

There weren't many mages in that part of the country, so Callie figures it wouldn't have been too difficult for Mykah to find work. Most people could find the capacity with training to bust out a few weak spells, but Mykah had learned about his gifts early. His mother loved it, shielding him from all the scorn of people who didn't trust magic and getting him access to any and every spellbook she could. He was a quick study, picking up spells like it was breathing, and occasionally he'd bum little bits of knowledge from visiting merchants or people he could pester in a tavern.

"Eventually, I ran into Quimere by accident," he continues, fondly recalling the beloved merchant. "She said my folks were going good, missing me a bit but generally supportive. And she said she sent you to Solva and that I should head there, too."

"Gods I love that woman."

"Me too," Mykah nods. "So I came here. I've been working at the threadforge when I can, saving up to see if I can get mom and dad to move here with me."

"Ask Cirene when you see her next time," Callie smiles, "She's really eager to help and I'd bet she'd send for your parents."

"Perfect," he agrees. "But that's been my time."

Callie nods as well, grateful to be near him again. A few long, quiet moments pass between them as she stares out onto the busy city below, savoring the brick rooftops and bustling streets.

"My first days here," she tells him, "the only thing that really kept me going was what you said to me when we left. 'It's worth it to me,' you said over and over again." She sighs, feeling a bit more somber than before. "Everytime I hid behind a streetcart or deflected awkward questions I thought about that."

"It is worth it to me," he says, brow furrowing seriously and hand resting on top of hers.

"Thanks," she says. Behind her eyes, Callie can feel the capacity to cry hover in her head; not rushing forward, but simply reminding herself how much she cared. "... I still don't know how to say thank you."

"You don't need to."

Callie lets out a sad and sweet laugh. "I just told that to Cirene and I don't even believe it. I feel like I'll always owe you."

"You don't owe me anything. I'd do it again in an instant."

"Why did you do it?"

He thinks for a second. "Because I care about you."

"You risked everything for me," Callie lowers her head, feeling the water behind her eyes build up a little more.

Suddenly, Mykah's hand rests against her cheek, pulling her into a quick and soft kiss. Surprised and confused, Callie feels herself revent into habit, remaining in the kiss for as long as Mykah holds it; feeling her skin warm and heartbeat echo in her ears. After a few seconds he pulls away, lowering his hand from her cheek.

"I..." Callie's words fail her.

"Fuck..." Mykah mutters, turning back to face the view before them. His head hangs low, a disappointed expression crossing his face.

"What... what's wrong?" Callie lifts a hand to her lips, feeling them still tingle softly. She isn't sure what to think. Kissing was so common to her these days but Mykah's touch felt so different from the rest. "We don't have to stop," she says, leaning in again only for him to turn away and reject it.

Mykah sighs, his shoulders rising and falling heavily. After a few long breaths he mutters, "I helped you out... cause I was in love with you. Had been for years."

Callie feels her chest tighten. Mykah had always listened to Callie gush on about her crushes but he'd never had any to share back with her. A tremor of guilt shivers through her gut as she wonders how much that must've hurt. After a moment, she asks, "'Was?'"

Mykah nods slowly. He searches for words, eventually scratching his neck and saying, "I don't think there are good words for this, and I'm sorry. I... I'm only into men. I threaded you because I loved you, and I still feel like I do... but kissing you just now... it doesn't feel right."

"Oh..." Callie's heart stills, feeling cool and solemn.

"I don't know what to do about all of that," he admits. "It all feels fucked up."

"Yeah," Callie agrees.

"Like I love you, I think," Mykah muses, hands waving with confusion. "But now 'you' looks differently than 'you' before, so like I love the inside of you, but I'm no longer attracted to the outside of you... God's, that feels horrible."

"Hey, it's okay," she takes his hand carefully.

"I was hoping that maybe by coming here I'd prove myself wrong," he sighs, "but it looks like I was just kidding myself."

"I don't think you're kidding yourself," Callie says gently. "You came because you care."

"Yeah," he lets out a disappointed breath. "I... I'm going to head out. I'll see you later, Callie."

Without waiting for a reply, Mykah swings his legs back over the railing, strolling back out into the room and ducking into the hallway. A small pit of shame trickles inside Callie as she briefly worries about what people might say if someone leaves without a blessing, but she pushes it away, instead trying to reconcile how she never knew how he felt.