by DisagreeableGuy
I read the story is about an ex, I stop reading there. It's sad and sick to remember exs.
Is she even his wife? Just because she's an "ex" doesn't mean she's an "ex-wife". I hope you aren't in the wrong category. And here's a hint. Drop the "true story" garbage. You're on a porn site on the world wide web. No one believes a word coming out of your mouth and onto the pages. Telling us that this is a "true story" does nothing for the story line and just makes us laugh at you. This first chapter was too short and held nothing that was really interesting or entertaining. Either pick things up quickly or stop posting completely. This was a waste of time.
1 star
Wow. I had no idea that pushing random, emotionally unbalanced, anonymous users fully off kilter would be as satisfying as well adjusted people actually enjoying the story. Neat. More coming!
Keep going bud.
Sounds like a total ass ,already in second marriage at 26. I love these true stories. They almost make me regret my vanilla life.
Thanks for making it quick and mostly painless.
I read that comment from the judgmental dickwad saying it's sad to remember exes, I laughed my ass off as he's on a porn site trying to judge others! Hahaha
Great start to a story. Can't wait for the next part.
I'm going to keep flogging this dead horse!
If a story is long enough to need chapters, then it needs to start with more than one freaking page!
Even if it's at a logical break point, there's no rule that says that Part one can't have chapter breaks within it.
This part is 1229 words. A Lit page is 3,000-3,500 words, so this is about 1/3 of a Lit page!
One star for pushing a real story off of the New Stories page!
Thanks so much for all the feedback, positive, negative, and frenetically triggered. Honestly, the length for now has more to do with what I have time to write in a sitting rather than editorial judgement. So I am going for an ongoing serialized feel rather than a particular length, like a horny soap opera..I do get that I am more into things like context and buildup and characters than things like moneyshots... dont get me wrong, I like those as much as anybody. But I think some delayed gratifiation enhances the effect. Your mileage may vary.
There is no requirement that you post every time you complete a segment. In fact, the story will probably be improved by coming back to it later and looking at it again with fresh eyes.
YOu have me hooked, I have to see how bad Virginia gets.