Don't Judge Me Ch. 11

I noticed all the girls were listening intently. I had an audience. Their minds variously belied relief that they were not the focus any more, respect that I was taking the hits for now, and in most cases at least some arousal at the way I was telling my story. I decided to settle in and tell the whole story of my day, starting with getting caught by Miss Havisham, then shopping, then the bridge, up to when I entered the gardens. Of course, I did add my own embellishments along the way, like Miss Havisham marching me naked around the store, which never happened, and the shop lady feeling her way around for the dress label, groping my naked body in every imaginable way, which also never happened, and some extra fantastical details about drivers waving at me and hollering. But it was still based on real events.

As I told the story the girls enjoyed it and I could see it triggering them in various ways, not least simply that someone was standing there confessing their own naughtiness and depravity and describing their own arousal. That has a real effect on anyone listening, I don't care who you are. But each of them was being sparked by elements of the story that had particular resonance for them.

Crystal, however, was difficult to read. I could see all her nastiness, and I could see that it stood on a framework of some sort of resentment. But its whole structure was, in a sense, set on a hill made of something I couldn't discern.

Finally, there was a moment when I suddenly caught it. The clue I needed.

When I described the shop lady's mauling of my body (again, that didn't really happen, so don't judge her), that hill under Crystal's edifice of aggression shimmered and momentarily revealed its substance. It's hard to describe, but suffice to say I was able to figure out what was under there: She was into girls, and she was in a deep self-denial about it. As soon as I caught hold of that, all the nastiness clicked into place in a now understandable model of how her inner sensual mind worked. This cruelty was her device for fending off her arousal over women! If she found herself aroused, there it was, I could see it, the energy flow went into her upper framework to fuel a mean, aggressive response in an attempt to mask, stem, and deny the rising arousal that gave rise to so much shame. What a mess.

Her encounters with men were hollow and unsatisfying, and she refused to admit the possibility that sharing intimacy with a woman might be an alternative. This inner conflict was all buried and repressed beyond her conscious discernment, and I couldn't get to it either, to further investigate its detailed inner workings, or to manipulate it.

I had to draw it out.

"So, fuck yes, I'm a pervert, Crystal." I stood defiantly, squarely in front of her, half a head shorter and confronted by her magnificent naked beauty. "And I'll tell you another thing," I raised my voice to foreshadow an aggressive retort, even pointing my finger directly at the center of her chest, prompting her to shift her posture into one anticipating confrontation. Her shoulders were set, her jaw stiff, her hands on her beautiful, broad hips, ready for me to take my shot.

This needed to be good. I may only get one swing at this. It had to be pitch perfect.

I prepared a strong mental suggestion of erotic elevation and had it ready, leaned forward as if to eviscerate her verbally, and then drove it home by gasping, "You are physically flawless", just as I hit her with the barrage of generic erotic charge. I surveyed her body conspicuously, floor to ceiling as if it had taken my breath away, and that I was entranced by her.

It seemed to work. She was badly off balance, both with the sudden push-pull change of tension, and the erotic pulse she received, not understanding it was foist upon her by me. The buried mound of repressed sexual energy in her mind began to shimmer and shake dangerously. She was close.

"And your breath is like strawberry cupcakes," I cooed, moving in close, pressing my body against hers, opening my mouth as if to accept a kiss, and raising my hands on either side as if to embrace her.

I hit her with another surge, and she took the bait. I was pushing equal parts on her violence and her erotic trigger this time, to provoke and accelerate her repression reflex. She grabbed my wrists tightly and shoved me backwards, holding my hands above my head, and strode me backwards until I was pressed against a gigantic stone pillar. We were both breathing hard, she, both from arousal and exertion, me, mainly for the theatrics.

"Shut the fuck up", she whispered to me, clearly not wanting the others to hear.

I had her.

She needed something. She needed me not to embarrass her. Now I had the upper hand, and I was going to make it count.

I whispered back with sultry overtones, "I bet you could shut me up, Crystal. I bet if you held me down, you could make me do anything. Anything." I was pouring in as much erotic accelerant as I could muster, and pushing mental images of her dominating me, straddling my face, forcing me into submission to pleasure her. It was royally screwing with her carefully constructed denial mechanisms, which were beginning to fray and crumble.

I continued whispering, "Because I really am a degenerate, Crystal. You were right. I can't deny it." I had managed to get so close to her face that our lips were almost touching. My back was arched, partly because she really was hurting my wrists now, but I knew I needed to get this done. I was panting, staring into her eyes, goading her, all the while soaking her mind in sexual energy.

If she kissed me now, we would be fucking. There would be no way out. I had no idea how to have sex with a girl, but I figured she would be the one doing the pushing and shoving, and I would be able just to go along with it and do what I was told.

Crystal's inner battle raged. She could no longer deny she was highly aroused, and this was beginning to shake the foundations of her convenient resentment-nastiness reflex. The hill it stood on was quivering and threatening to burst open, and she was frightened of what might emerge from it. Her shame and self accusation were swirling in her lust, becoming an all-consuming whirlwind.

I waited, panting, to find out if I was going to be ravaged by this latent lesbian lover, and be declared the winner or our standoff by revealing her deepest secret, or whether she would back down and admit defeat. Either way, I would win. I had her right where I wanted her, towering over me, breathing my air, fighting the urge to dive her tongue into my willing mouth, crushing my wrists in a tightening vice that she was beyond controlling.

I focused on my towel, just one corner tucked over itself under my armpit, holding it together. I shifted ever so slightly to one side, and breathed in especially deeply while pulling my shoulder upwards in just the right way. It worked. The towel untethered itself and slid down my body to crumple, limp and impotent at our feet. My body was now exposed, and I made sure to press it against Crystal's and gyrate slightly, slippery and wet as it was in this hot, steamy air, our breasts and thighs slipping over one another.

One more little nudge... I looked into her eyes to announce her doom, "It's too late, Crystal. You can't deny it now. You're hot for this. Your dirty little secret is out."

And then it was over.

"FUCK!" she shouted, suddenly releasing my wrists and pushing herself away. She turned, kicking my towel violently away, and she stalked past the assembled girls, who were collectively holding their breath. "I need a FUCKING cold shower".

I stayed standing, for a moment, with my wrists still in place above my head, still leaning back against the pillar naked. I slowly lowered my arms and started massaging my wrists to restore the blood flow. I adjusted my posture slightly so that I was leaning more comfortably, more confidently.

Crystal kept stalking, all the way up the stairs and out the door. She had lost. Big time. I looked across at the girls, and could instantly see that they had chosen a leader for themselves.

I would be the queen bee from now on.

Don't judge me.