Dookie 02

Dookie 02

"Well, what the hell is going on here, Dookie?"

"You mean with me and your step sister wearing the same shorts, Freddy?"

"And hair and shirts and shoes and on and on, so?"

"Well, it's not because your step sister tricked me into backing her tonight. So, grab a cup and put it under the nozzle of the Margarita Globe and I'll pump your air pump. And by the way, I didn't mix the margarita's so they should be good, but I don't know what a classic margarita mix tastes like, so."

"Oh, I mean, we should circle back to how you're going to pump my air pump then, Dookie."

"Well, Hank's Tiki mixer is barely 20 minutes old, so maybe you should circle around and mingle then, Freddy."

I mean, I didn't mean to say that I would pump his air pump, even if I had a little experience in that area now.

[Pump, pump, pump, please it's the Margarita Globe pump people, pump]

"Fill 'er up, barkeep and by the way, Josh has an eye for my tow truck driver striped shorts, in case you wanted to break a break just after dark. I mean, he'll follow the bouncing grey and white striped ball and all, so???"

"Luci, back off on that now [glug, glug, glug], alright?"

"I'm just saying, Dookie, if you're going to dress like a girl and then be around guys, I mean, guys get boners and then guys just want to get rid of their boners and here you are, looking cute and working this nozzle, so."

"Well, Josh doesn't need his nozzle worked anyways, so."

"Bouncing ball, bouncing ball, it's getting dark, see you later, Dookie."

Well, Luci didn't even hum that correctly anyways, so.

Besides, LOL, Hank came to my rescue by lighting all of his Tiki torches that he lined around his backyard and poof, it was daylight!

"Hey."

"Oh, hey Josh, um, Hank and Lenny just refilled the Margarita Globe with fresh mix and with the runway landing light on, you can see that the globe ball is full, so."

"Oh, then I'll have one. So?"

"I got your text, Josh."

"So?"

"I'm stalling, Josh and it's a rule that you have to let me stall for a few moments, so."

Oh, cool, that worked.

[Ping]

"I'll have a cigarette behind garage, Josh."

[Ping]

"You don't smoke???"

[Ping]

"You're stupid, Josh."

I mean, that was legit code, right? You are darn right it was.

"Hey, um, do you have any beer here? I'm not much for the fancy Margarita's and all, so?"

"Well, I might be stupid Blake, but I'm pretty sure the coolers along the fence are full of beer, so?"

"Oh, so you're going to wear tow truck driver striped shorts and be sassy too, Dookie?"

"Well, sorry, but I don't want you to think that just because you drive the local tow truck that you had an edge with me, Blake. I mean, I'm sure you have a nice tow truck hook and all, but you're not going to hook with your hook and by the way, stop sending me hook pics, so."

"Well."

"Look, Blake, just stop he hook pics and maybe I'll have a smoke with you in a few minutes, alright?"

"Dookie, you don't even smoke. And who are you texting while I'm busy trying to hook you hard with my hard hook anyways?"

[Ping]

"You're stupid, Blake."

I mean, no one ever said that you couldn't use the same slam back comment twice in a row, so.

But everyone should agree that's never a good idea for a CD to use the restroom on the side of the garage, so I took my Tiki bar break and made my way into Hank's house to use the bathroom that had a door on it.

"(Hic) Luci, what you doing?"

"Oh, hey, Robert, I'm not Luci."

"(Hic), ahh, Luci, did you come (hic) looking for me baby?"

"Well, Luci might be looking for you, but I'm not Luci, so."

[Bathroom door opens]

"Sum bitch, there's two (hic) Luci's then?"

I mean, so, Luci just takes over then?

"Pick one, Robert. Take the Luci of your choice to the laundry room right across the hall."

"(Hic) I ga, ga this Luci and I, oh (hic), I goo, goo this Luci (hic)."

"(Luci, Luci, Luci, trade me, trade me, trade me.)"

"(You promise me everything, Dookie?)"

Well, hell no I don't know why I was so worried about things anyways. I had no commitment to anyone, but that heat of the moment was pretty toasty for a moment there. But Luci won anyways. Well, we both won because poor old Robert just didn't make it before he passed out across the washing machine, so I really didn't have to do much.

Although, I mean, Luci started to collect on her promises right there on the spot and trust me, I wasn't complaining about what it really means to be kissed and fully engaged in make out session! I mean, my stupid attempts were nothing compared to what Luci taught me.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? One fine pair of two truck shorts all over another fine pair of tow truck shorts and my, my, my, what shall we do about this then?"

"Oh, Troy, I mean, um, I mean, Luci had some lint in her, um, I mean, I mean, ooh, Luci, I mean, ooh."

So, a guy just unzips his pants then? And suggests a sandwich deal too?

End Dookie 02