Down The Rabbit Hole Ch. 10

I sat with Aaron on the couch, my head on his shoulder. We watched TV in relative silence only to let out a soft giggle or smirk at what we saw. I saw Carson and Sharon again four days ago and the experience was so intense I felt I needed a break. Not only had the sex been extremely intense, erotic and boundary pushing, but emotionally I was all over the place. I felt things when I was with them that I didn't understand, I didn't even know how to interpret. I also was nearly caught or found out. As I left the hotel, I ran into a friend from church that was very curious what I was doing at a hotel in the middle of the day. I managed to lie my way through it but I wasn't convinced that she wasn't suspicious that something was going on. I couldn't help but wondered if she could somehow tell that I had been face fucked for at least an hour while the man's wife watched and masturbated. The truth was that I needed a break from all of it. I wasn't being careful anymore. I had been very lucky with the different people I had met in that all of them seemed to be looking for some version of what I was looking for. But in the run in with my friend, suddenly things came back to earth. Not only was I at risk of seeing someone I knew, but also I was less careful in who I was willing to meet. It could be dangerous.

I resolved to take a break, making promises to myself that I needed to stop things for a while and more than that, I needed to be more careful with anyone I did decide to meet. I sent a text to Jim explaining my thinking and to my surprise he simply responded with: "Ok, keep in touch when you are ready." I had not been expecting that from the man that never took no for an answer. I was relieved but also disappointed in a way. More relieved though if I am honest.

I needed to reconnect with Aaron somehow. Our sexual relationship continued to improve but everything else just seemed to be flat and stale. We talked about church and household stuff but not really intimate things. I didn't have a sense of where he was in his head anymore and if I was really honest, I wasn't sure if I cared. He was my husband but he was now more just a roommate that had sex with me from time to time. Based on all honest accounts of marriage I think we had it pretty good.

So now I sat on the couch with him. He had his arm around me and we watched TV together silently. I felt ok like this. Comforted. Maybe it was time to stop all of it and just focus on being here with my husband. Of course I had dabbled with these thoughts before, but this time it felt like I might be ready to stick with it. Maybe. The more I thought about it the more I felt just a good long break was what I needed.

I got up to get a drink when I felt my phone buzz from a text. Suddenly my heart jumped. It was Tim: the lonely husband I had met some time ago. I didn't keep many of the numbers anymore. I felt that I had too many and it was overwhelming. But I couldn't delete his: the sad man from the drugstore parking lot. There was something tender about him.

Tim: Are you still out there?

I hesitated. Was I still out there? My heart skipped another beat. Not five minutes ago I was thinking of walking away from all of this. Suddenly I couldn't stop looking at his text. Without thinking I typed and sent: Yes.

Tim: Can we meet tonight? Sorry for the short notice.

I looked up at Aaron. He had not turned to see what I was doing, he just laughed and watched the TV. I had no idea how or if I could even get out of the house tonight. But suddenly I really wanted to.

I quickly typed: I think so. Depends on where.

"Who are you texting?" Aaron.

"Just Claire," I lied. "She is going through some stuff and she may want to talk tonight." Perhaps I could come up with a way to sneak out.

"Is she ok?" Aaron asked. He truly didn't care about girl drama, but he tried.

"I think so, but sometimes she needs to talk it out, you know?" I said.

"Isn't she on a trip?" Aaron asked.

My heart froze. "Yeah...I think so," I said. My mind raced.

Tim: Where are you? I can come to you.

I stared at the text. I was wet with desire but stuck. I had never given anyone an idea of where I lived and I had no intention of starting now. Even if I did, there was no way I could sneak out of the house at this point. I held my phone and just looked at it. Lust can make you do stupid things.

I typed and sent my address and then added: I need to be sneaky so you cannot come in or knock. Just let me know when you are close.

My heart pounded. I waited for Tim to acknowledge my text and then I started to think. I opened the fridge, got out a drink and tried to keep watching the TV. What was I going to do? This is stupid. I couldn't think about anything else. I just wanted to be out of the house. Or did I? I watched Aaron rather than the TV. He seemed like a stranger to me.

Suddenly my phone buzzed again and it was Tim: I will be there in 15 minutes.

My hands shook as I acknowledged his text. I took my drink and did my best to nonchalantly walk back to the couch and sit down. I resumed laying my head on Aaron's shoulder. I tried to watch the TV but I couldn't. Tim was on his way. What was I going to do? I should just tell him this isn't gonna happen tonight. There would be other nights. Aaron was gone more often now so it's not like I couldn't do this on a different night. But I didn't want another night. It was like the thought of stopping had left a void in me and suddenly the thought of seeing someone was something I had to do to fill that void. I was an addict.

We watched TV for a while and Aaron put his hand on my knee. Suddenly I felt my phone buzz again in my pocket and I knew Tim was somewhere nearby. What was I going to do? I got up and went into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and looked at my phone.

Tim: I am around the corner.

I went into the bedroom and peaked out the window. It was dark and I couldn't see the street from here. I sent a quick text: Wait.

I turned to walk out of the bedroom when Aaron walked in. He smiled at me and said,"Don't you want to finish the show?"

I nodded with a fake smile and then instinctively I looked at my phone and acted like it was ringing. I quickly tapped in and put it to my ear and said,"Hello?" Of course no one was on the other end but I didn't think Aaron could tell that. "Hi Claire," I lied, "Yes of course. How is your trip?" I waited as if listening to a response. Aaron watched me for a moment and then frowned. I put the phone down for a second and said,"Sorry babe, I think she really needs to talk."

Aaron nodded, frowned and then said, "Ok, want me to wait for you to be done?"

I shook my head. "No, not sure how long this will take."

Aaron nodded, "I understand." He paused then said,"Um I think I will just go to bed then, do you mind talking to her in the living room?"

I agreed and walked past him quickly into the living room. He playfully slapped my butt as I walked by then whispered, "Wake me up when you are done."

I winked at him and waited for him to close the door. Then I resumed my fake conversation with Claire. I spoke like I was on the phone and frantically typed, retyped and retyped again where to meet Tim. I wanted him so badly I wasn't thinking straight. I had no idea what to do, but I felt bad that he had been waiting. Finally I told him to come to my door and then text when he arrived. I emphasized that he cannot knock.

"What the fuck am I doing?" I whispered then resumed my fake conversation with Claire. I walked over to the bedroom and peaked my head in the door. Aaron was laying in bed looking at his phone. He glanced at me.

"Am I keep you up?" I asked, hoping the answer was yes.

"No not at all," he said. He looked a bit flushed as if I had caught him doing something. It was weird.

"Ok, I may just talk to her on the porch," I said realizing how dumb that was as soon as I said it.

"Um why?" Aaron said, "I can barely hear you in there. Go and talk to her. Really you aren't keeping me up."

I smiled and blew a kiss at him for some reason and then closed the bedroom door. A few seconds later Tim texted that he was outside. My heart pounded. What was I doing? What the fuck was I doing? I looked around the living room. I tried to make a plan but I couldn't think straight. I was too horny. Too nervous. I needed my fix. I looked at the half bathroom down the hall next to our bedroom. Aaron might hear. I shook my head, he was too into his phone. If we were quiet...

I kept my fake conversation going so Aaron could hear it. I walked to the door and opened it. Tim looked at me and almost spoke with I held my finger up sternly to my lips. He nodded. He looked like the last time I had seen him: very handsome but tired and a little sad. I could see he was nervous and like me was going way out on a limb for this. We were both addicts. I could tell now. I took his hand and led him slowly into the house, carefully closing the door as quietly as I could and but I didn't totally shut it. I led him to the half bathroom and had him sit on the toilet. I cringed at every squeak in the floor and creak of each step. I closed the bathroom door and set my phone down on the sink. I kept my linger to my lips with a firm expression so he knew how quiet he needed to be. I was shaking with fear, nerves and lust.

I got on my knees and unbuckled his pants then carefully pulled them down. His hard, beautiful cock sprung up to meet me. All my worry seemed to disappear and was replaced by raw hunger. I gazed up at him for a moment and then mouthed the words, "I want you cum." Then I took him into my mouth.

Sucking Tim's cock lit me on fire. I had been without and even trying to quit but that absence and even the thought of leaving it had made me want it even more than I understood. I sucked his cock deeply, desperately and hungrily. I held his balls with one hand and took him down my throat again and again. I kept my eyes on his as I sucked and I could see that this is exactly what he needed: he needed someone that needed to suck his dick as badly as he needed it to be sucked. He needed to be desired as a man. I felt my heart opening to him and I needed to show him how much I needed his dick. This was our moment. I took him down my throat and held it there as long as I could. He quietly gasped and gripped the toilet seat.

"Hey babe?" Aaron's voice suddenly came through the otherside of the door. He was in the hall.

I saw TIm panic and I took his dick out of my mouth as quickly as possible. Spit ran down my chin and slurped everywhere off his glistening cock. "Um yeah babe?" I answered, gripping Tim's cock with one hand.

"Why are you in there? Did you know the door is open?" Aaron said, just on the other side of the door.

Shit. "Um that's weird," I said, trying to act normal. "I am just in this bathroom because I didn't want to wake you."

I hear his footsteps and then the front door close and lock. "That is so weird," he said somewhere in the living room.

I looked at Tim with panic and then back to the door. Tim's face was flushed and I couldn't look at him anymore. I had no solution to this.

"Are you ok in there?" Aaron asked. I could hear him just next to the door.

"Um, yeah I am fine, just trying to go to the bathroom," I said in my best casually annoyed wife tone.

"Ok, I was hoping we could have some fun when you are done," He said. I heard him lean against the wall just next to the door.

"Um, maybe. It might be that time of the month though," I lied. "Still trying to see..." I said, leaning on his lack of knowledge on the subject. I knew all of that grossed him out.

"Oh," he said with a disappointed tone. "OK, well I will be in bed," he said with a hopeful hint.

I heard Aaron walk back into the room. I looked back at Tim and he faintly whispered, "I should go." I felt his cock softening in my hand.

I shook my head, "Please no," I whispered. I immediately started to suck his dick again. I gripped his cock and started stroking it and sucking, trying to get him good and hard. He looked down at me and watched as my head bobbed up and down on his cock. He shifted his weight, leaned back a bit and I took his cock all the way down each time. With my fingers gripping just his base I took him down and held his cock in my throat. I started to swallow on it as I looked up at him.

"Ah," he gasped. He opened his legs wider. I took his hands with mine and placed them on my head, urging him to grip my head. I kept looking up at him and swallowing his cock. I felt my throat contracting around it as I sucked in air through my nose. He pushed on my head and I let me hand leave his base and took his whole dick down my throat. I could see the raw pleasure in his eyes and he pushed his hips forward, trying to give me more of his cock. It was the pleasure in his face that I needed. We connected as we looked at one another and I gulped again on his cock. He nodded his head as if to signal what was going to happen and his dick erupted in my throat.

I audibly gulped on his cock, swallowing his load down as fast as it shot out. I never took my eyes off of his.

Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.

He gripped my hair and gasped as quietly as he could. Then he was done. Very slowly he pulled his cock from my throat. It glistened with my spit and bits of his cum. I licked his dick, still looking into his eyes and then helped him put it away. I stood up as he got his pants on.

"Thank you," I said to him in a tiny whisper. "I needed that."

He looked at me and said nothing. But I could see he felt the same way. Very quietly I led him out of the house. I opened the door and as he left I opened and closed the door loudly as if I was testing the door knob for why it had been left open. Finally I closed the door, locked it and turned around. I was shaking. My hands were sweaty and I stuffed them in my pockets trying to calm down. I felt like I was leaving my body or out of control or something. I looked at the bedroom door and frowned, seeing Aaron was the last thing I wanted.

I opened my phone and my "other email" and saw I had over a hundred emails. I looked back at the bedroom door.

"I need to get out of here," I muttered.

I walked to the bedroom door, opened it and saw Aaron looking at his phone. He glanced up at me, clearly with no idea what was happening. He put his phone down quickly as if he was caught doing something. I didn't care whatever it was.

"I need to go see my mom," I said randomly.

"Now?" Aaron asked, sitting up.

"Yes, she called and asked me to come over," I lied. I walked to the closet and put a sweatshirt on.

"Is everything ok?" he asked.

"I am not sure, but I need to go. I will text you when I know more," I said getting my shoes on.

"I should come with you," he said getting out of bed.

"No," I said harshly. He stopped in his tracks. I have never spoken like that to him before. "She just wants me. Trust me, its fine."

He nodded for a moment then said, "Um ok," He sat on the bed. "If you are.."

"I am sure, Aaron," I said, again overly harshly. I couldn't control it. I was feeling too much and I had to get out of there.

He didn't say anything, just frowned at me.

I turned without a word, grabbed my keys, purse and left the house. As soon as I was out the door I found Peter and Frank's email and sent them a message: Can you two meet? I then sent Jim a text: Can you meet tonight? I got in the car, drove down the street then stopped, pulled over and started going through my emails, replying to every one quickly with a "Yes" or "Let's meet."

I was an addict and I was going to binge.