Dreams and Wishes Ch. 01

"So ask away Sergeant Wellington," I prompted.

"Please let's be friends. I'm not the police at the moment. This isn't an interview. I'm just Robbie. Tell me what you are happy to share," he suggested.

"I'm not sure where to begin. I've known for a long time I wasn't normal, probably as far back as secondary school. I talked with my sister. She helped me become her little sister. She would help me dress. She gave me some of her older clothes. I liked wearing skirts and dresses. Later when I had a job she would take me shopping. Sophia is one of a few that knows me from before. I don't have many friends. I find it hard to make friends. Those that I do have only know me as Krys. When I went to university I could be more me. No-one knew who I was. I didn't and don't mix with others. I like my own space. I'm not good with groups, social events or crowds. I later discovered that I'm on the autistic spectrum and have gender dysphoria. The two things are distinct and separate. I know I have some issues with social interaction. I don't understand the need for small talk. I'm too direct for some people. I've learned that it's sometimes best not to say anything."

Merlin strolled into the room and jumped onto my lap. I scratched his head. He curled up closing his eyes.

"Well you have two friends right here," suggested Robbie.

"Yes, I'm very lucky you found me. I find being with most people is hard work, exhausting even. You're different. I take the judgement and endorsement of Merlin as favourable."

"Thank you, but me dragging you around the village introducing you to everyone probably wasn't a good idea. Please tell me if I suggest anything you find uncomfortable or difficult."

"I think you know me well enough that I'll tell you if I don't like something. Meeting people as individuals or in small numbers is okay. I struggle when there are too many overlapping and noisy conversations. University social events were very difficult," I explained.

"Right! So university wasn't much fun?"

"No, I studied hard and graduated, but it wasn't the experience that I had expected. I did meet a girl who accepted me, but she wanted to dominate me- to make me her sissy bitch. Not my thing. I met a boy, well man, I thought he was okay, but it didn't work out. After that I sort of gave up trying to find someone."

"Do you feel lonely?" asked Robbie.

"For the most part, no: I deal with people as I need to. I go home for quiet and peace. I listen to music more than songs- it gives me serenity. Tell me a little about you."

"I left school, went to university, joined the army, travelled the world, left the army, joined the police, and then when a position became available moved here to the back of beyond."

"Um, that was a high level summary with no detail and no personal information."

"Wow!" he said laughing.

"Sorry I did that thing I do again. I sometimes analyse and speak before filtering."

"It's okay. Honest! Being in the army you're used to direct feedback. You're right- it was without detail. Let me try again. I joined the army partly because of my Dad. I loved the army and had a good career. I made it to Captain. I helped a lot of people -- providing aide after natural disasters and food relief. I helped dig wells and build bridges. Those were the good missions- you know when I was helping. I saw some bad stuff during combat. It had an effect on me. I decided to leave to do something different. I moved around a lot so I didn't have much time for relationships. My last relationship was with a nurse who I met on the job. Our different shifts meant we never saw each other. We called an end to it and I moved to my next post."

"You don't need to explain. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push."

"You're actually easy to talk to. So why Krys with a K?" he asked.

"It's different. It felt more like me. I was always Chris not Christopher. When I first decided to change my name I was going with just Chris. It's neutral, but then one day I just thought stuff it: I want to be Christina. It went round and round in my head, but didn't feel completely like me. So then I went with Kristina swapping the Ch for K. It still wasn't right. I can't really explain it. Then I saw a book in a window written by Krystyna somebody with two Y's and thought yes that's me. That's when I changed my name. In the real world everyone wants to abbreviate it to Krys. Why do you go by Robbie not Robert or Rob?"

He laughed.

"Robert was what my Mum would shout when I was in trouble. My Grannie always called me Robbie. In the army I was called mostly by my rank, or Wellington or sir. On duty I'm Sergeant Robert Wellington of the Scottish Constabulary, but in private I'm just Robbie."

Merlin stood to have a good stretch. He yawned. He rubbed his head against my hand and jumped to the floor before strolling slowly to the kitchen. Robbie stood and sat beside me.

"I like talking with you, I like being with you," he said holding my hand.

"So now you know what I am, what now?" I asked.

"I don't know exactly. As I said I like you. You look and sound like Krys, but I actually think Krystyna fits you better. I can't give you a logical explanation. I love your big expressive brown eyes, that amazing smile you have and your slightly wild wavy hair. I feel kind of guilty for asking now; I would never have guessed if you hadn't told me."

"Well I don't introduce myself as Krys and then add 'by the way I'm a boy in a dress'. My crazy hair is mostly due to being out in the wind. It's usually quite tidy. I'd like you to call me Krystyna," I replied.

"Well I think of you as an attractive woman. You're Krystyna and you're special. Would you like more tea or more whisky?"

"Thank you for understanding. No I'm good thank you."

"What do you do for work?"

"I manage an IT support team for a consultancy firm."

"Is that the official version of I'm a spy and work for MI5? Like Q working for Universal Exports in James Bond?"

I laughed.

"No honest. It's mostly boring, but I have a good team. Please tell me about Merlin."

"Oh, he's a rescue. It's a bit of a sad story. My police partner Caroline and I found him and two others in a shoe box on waste ground. Caroline took the two tabby coloured kittens. I took him. I didn't think he would survive. Each time I went to feed him I expected to find him still and cold, but he held on. I hand fed him with a syringe every two hours for three days. On the fourth day he opened his eyes and made a little squeak. Within a week he was exploring my flat. I remember shortly afterwards, that I came home after a shift, I can't recall details, but it had been a bad one. I walked in and he was sat waiting for me. He seems to sense my mood. There are times when I'm certain he can read my mind. He's been with me for three years."

"That's so sad that he was abandoned, but at least his story has a happy ending."

He pulled me gently towards him: we were face to face.

"I really want to kiss you" he disclosed.

"Then kiss me," I invited.

We kissed and then talked for a while. Our hands kept finding each other like magnets. We finally retired for sleep. We kissed good night retreating to our separate rooms. I completed my nightly toilette. I returned from the bathroom to find Merlin curled up on the bottom of the bed.

"Sweet dreams, Merlin," I said stroking him.

There was plenty of space so I left him. I quickly fell asleep.

In my dreams I was wearing a dark red dress with matching heels. I was dancing with Robbie. I think I was happy.

I was woken by an unfamiliar noise- a shout! It was still dark. I checked my phone it was nearly four in the morning. I heard the shout again. It sounded like Robbie. I slipped into my satin dressing gown. Another shout came from Robbie's room. I wouldn't be able to settle until I knew what was happening. I walked along the hallway. I tapped on the door before opening it.

"Robbie?" I called.

"Yes," he replied instantly.

He switched on a bedside lamp.

"Is everything okay? I thought I heard someone shouting."

"Sorry. That was probably me. I have occasional bad dreams. I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's okay. You sound sad, can I help?"

"Oh, just wipe my memories," he replied with a forced sarcastic laugh.

I moved into the room sitting on his bed. I reached out holding his hand. He was shaking. I also noticed scars on his shoulders and chest. I traced them gently with my fingers.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Our experiences make us who we are. Not many people have seen my body since I left the army. I try to keep covered. Saves having to explain what happened."

"I have violated your private space. I'm sorry. I should leave. You don't have to talk about it," I said kissing his forehead.

"Please stay... This is mostly from shrapnel. Some of that melted mess on my arm is burns from being trapped in a burning vehicle, but this was a bullet with my name on it," he said indicating the mass of scars before pointing to a star shaped disfigurement on his stomach.

"You don't need to explain. Do you trust me?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Let me cuddle up beside you. I'll try to teach you one of the techniques I have learned. It may help you sleep. If not I'll just lay here to keep you company."

I removed my dressing gown before sliding beneath the bed covers. I wore just my knee length pale blue satin chemise with matching French knickers. He turned off the light. I cuddled up close to him. He was warm. I begin to talk slowly and softly.

"You're safe. Close your eyes. Listen to my voice. I'm holding your hand. I want you to breathe with me. As we breathe together I will talk to you. You need to listen to my voice."

"Yes, I'm listening. My eyes are closed."

"Remember I'm holding your hand. You're safe."

His shaking gradually slowed and then stopped. His breathing was slowing and became regular.

"You're warm. You're calm. We walk out through the front door of your house. It's deep snow outside. Can you see it?"

"Yes."

"You're safe. You step outside. You stand in the snow. You are warm and content. You look at the snow. Deep... Soft... Pristine... Snow... You hear the snow crunch beneath your boots. We walk slowly. Each step in time with your heart beat. We enter the woods. It's still... Silent... Calm... We enter a stone circle. There are nine stones. Do you see them?"

Robbie didn't reply.

"Are you asleep?" I whispered.

No response. I cuddled closer projecting myself into the dream scape I had created. I was quickly asleep too.

*

24 December. Christmas Eve.

The next morning I woke to find Robbie spooned behind me with his arm across my tummy. His fingers were slowly circling my belly button. I rolled over to face him. His hand moved to my bum.

"Good morning Krystyna," he greeted me.

"Good morning Robbie," I replied with a smile.

"Thank you for whatever that was you did. I don't remember much. I think I fell asleep in the middle of your story."

"Did you sleep peacefully?"

"Yes, I feel very refreshed. Was that some form of hypnosis?"

"No, just a relaxation technique where you focus on something other than the trauma or crisis you are facing."

"So I won't find myself making strange chicken noises if I see eggs or something?" he joked.

"Robbie, I'd never do that to you even if I could. You've been very good to me."

He moved closer to kiss me. His hand touched my leg through my satin chemise.

"Sorry, I find you very sexy. I should get a cold shower or something."

"Why? It's okay, I like your hands on my body."

"Um, that wasn't my hand," he admitted.

I reached down finding his cock- he was very aroused. I slipped my hand inside his shorts.

"Oh, um, you're nice and hard," I observed rubbing my hand against him.

"You have lovely soft warm hands."

"You have a lovely cock. May I please you?"

"I don't want to take advantage," he mumbled as I kissed his chest before moving beneath the duvet.

"Well, maybe I do," I replied with a giggle.

I lowered his shorts. I took his cock between my lips slowly enveloping it. I swirled my tongue around his glans. Robbie made happy noises while his hands stroked my hair.

"Krystyna, wait, you don't have to do this."

I surfaced from beneath the duvet.

"I know I don't have to. I would like to, but I won't do anything you don't want to do. You don't like it? You don't want me to?" I asked.

He kissed me gently. I felt his cock press against my body.

"Is that a yes Robert Wellington?" I asked with a laugh.

"Yes, and you're amazing you know that?"

"Tell me after," I said with a smile.

I slipped beneath the duvet for a second time. He rolled onto his back. I took my time playing with him. Robbie was a nice size: he filled my mouth. I licked, nibbled and sucked. I played with his testicles and shaft with my fingers. His hands found my head again. His fingers caressed my hair.

"Krystyna, I can't hold on much more," he panted.

I continued to suck and was rewarded with a jet of hot velvety cream. He pulsed hard four times. I swallowed my early morning protein shake. It was my first for a long time. I crawled up his body to lay my head on his chest.

"Was that okay?" I asked.

"No, that was... I have no words to describe how incredible that was. May I return the favour?"

"That's sweet, but I don't normally orgasm that way. I wasn't expecting anything in return."

"Okay, tell me shut up, but if I may ask, how do you orgasm?" he asked wrapping his arms around me.

"I like to be penetrated, but as I said I wasn't expecting you to do anything. I should let you shower."

"Krystyna, please shower with me?"

"You want to shower with me?"

"Yes, let me wash your lovely smooth body. It's the least I can do."

"Sounds fair, give me a minute to collect my wash bag."

We were soon under a torrent of lovely hot water. The walk in cubicle filled with steam. Robbie as promised washed me all over. He had warm firm hands- they seemed magnetised to my bum, small boobs and tummy. He washed my hair with my products. I loved feeling his hands massaging my hair. I leaned against him as I was rinsed clean. He was hard again which I took to be a good sign considering he had seen my 'bits'. From behind I look quite good. When I am tucked you probably wouldn't even guess, but naked I can't hide what I am. Robbie kissed me under the waterfall. We stepped from the shower wrapping ourselves in towels. I wrapped a bath sheet so that it covered my small boobs. I saw Robbie watching me.

"What?" I asked.

"Venus, Aphrodite, or may be Ariel, my beautiful sea nymph."

"Stop it. I don't even have red hair," I replied with a chuckle.

"A technicality, but you could be right- I think you are probably more the goddess of spring."

"You're crazy. I need to get dressed, I'll meet you in the kitchen," I laughed.

I entered the guest bedroom. Merlin was still asleep on the bed. He stretched rolling over showing me his belly.

"Good morning, Merlin, I trust you slept well. Sorry I had to run away. Robbie needed me," I told him as I rubbing his head and belly.

He let out a small meow as a response. He yawned. Blinked his eyes at me a few times and then resumed his nap. I rummaged through my holdall and found black satin lingerie. I wore black opaque tights, a polo necked body and dark blue skinny jeans. I dried my hair and styled it. I spritzed some perfume and applied some lipstick. I checked my reflection in the mirror. I blew myself a kiss and smiled.

I descended to the kitchen. Robbie was already cooking. I could smell bacon. I padded up behind him and slipped my arms around his waist.

"What's for breakfast chef?" I asked feeling the warmth from his body.

He turned and kissed me. I didn't want that kiss to ever end. I had never felt like this before.

"For mademoiselle we have bacon, Lorne sausage, eggs, black pudding, fried bread and hot strong coffee. For dessert I want you," he said all the time smiling.

"You'll make me fat eating all that."

"It's Winter: you need a little extra insulation and you're definitely not fat. You're a very lovely shape."

We ate breakfast, drank the coffee, and fed Merlin before setting out for the garage. Robbie said there was news, but wouldn't give details.

"It's a surprise," he told me.

"I don't like surprises!" I advised him.

"Everyone likes nice surprises."

"Not me, they're stressful."

We arrived at the garage where we were met by Hamish.

"Morning Miss Willis, morning Robbie," he greeted.

"Please call me Krystyna," I invited.

"I have good news. The Royal Mail post and a few other essential items were delivered by boat. Your tyres were included. Your car is fixed. Here's your bill."

"Thank you Hamish, you're a lovely man and a gentleman. Merry Christmas! Thank you so much!" I rejoiced hugging him.

"See I told you everyone loves nice surprises," added Robbie.

"I will deal with you later," I said with a laugh before hugging Robbie.

I reviewed the invoice for the service.

Recovery of vehicle £ 10.00

Tyre 1 £ 75.00

Tyre 2 £ 75.00

Tyre disposal/recycling £ 20.00

Labour £ 50.00

Service and Admin £ 10.00

Total £ 230.00

"Wait, Hamish, I think you made a mistake?" I said looking at the bill.

"Oh, lass, I'm sorry, have I overcharged you?"

"No, the recovery charge can't be right. I was expecting a charge for over a hundred pounds for a recovery truck, and the total is ten pounds short based on the itemised bill," I explained handing him the paper.

"Never was much of an accountant. Thanks for your honesty Miss Willis, I mean Krystyna. The recovery- I only charged you for fuel. You were only five minutes up the road. I couldn't charge you the normal rate. It would not be right. Call it my Christmas rate. I see now I forgot to add the service charge to the total. Woops, I will be pricing myself out of business," laughed Hamish.

I paid the revised bill before following Robbie back to his house in my own car. I parked on his drive, locked the doors before patting the roof. Robbie laughed at the interaction between me and my car. I climbed into the passenger seat of his police truck.

"Horace has been good to me," I reported.

"Horace?" asked a confused Robbie.

"My car," I revealed.

"I see, so now what?" he asked.

"I need to buy another present for Hamish. Robbie, please may we visit the supermarket?"

"On one little condition?"

"What condition?"

"No swimming in the loch."

"Oh, whatever!" I laughed as I punched him playfully on the arm.

"Assaulting a police officer now?" he teased.

"Well arrest me already," I giggled.

We laughed all the way to the supermarket. With Robbie's guidance I bought a bottle of blackberry liqueur that Hamish was fond of. We returned to the car.

"Come on Batman, to the bat cave," I instructed.

"Dougal to Robbie, please respond. Over," came a radio call interrupting our joyful morning.

"Hey, Dougal, Robbie here, how are you?"

"I'm okay, but I have just received a report of an avalanche over on the Three Sisters peak. The mountain rescue team based at Glen Coe is heading there now. They have requested our help. Over."

"Oh, that's not good. Do we know if there are any people in the area? Over."

"There were two groups in the area. At this time we have to assume they're in the danger zone. Numbers are unknown at this time. Over."

"Okay, let's roll the rescue team. We'll meet at the hotel. Robbie out."

"Sorry Krystyna, I'll drop you back at the house. I'll need to attend this," reported Robbie softly.

"Let me come with you. Let me help," I suggested.

"Krystyna, I appreciate the offer, but you're not trained for this," he said slowly shaking his head.

"I know I'm not a mountain rescue expert, but let me do something. You can't expect me to sit in the house while you're out there," I argued.