Dreams, Drawings, and Panties

"You like being fucked?" she asked, as she paused and leaned downward to kiss him.

"I love being fucked by you," Alex responded, before kissing Emma again.

Emma smiled back at him, and her breathing intensified as she began to increase her pace. She closed her eyes and her face became stern. The two of them began to moan almost in unison until Emma began to squeal.

"Yes!" she screamed, as she slammed her hips into his body. "I love that dick of yours!" she said as she opened her eyes and looked downward at Alex. Alex managed to return a crooked smile but was only able to mumble something unintelligible. Emma began to squeal as she climaxed again. "Yes!" she screamed, again, "Yes! Yes!"

"Don't cum just yet!" Emma screamed at Alex. She then quickly climbed off of his hips and engulfed his wet cock with her mouth. Alex gasped at the sudden change in pleasurable sensations as she began pumping her mouth and stroking his cock with her hand. She then gripped the tip of his cock while she moved forward to kiss his mouth. Alex could taste her pussy mixed with his pre-cum from her wet lips.

Emma climbed back over Alex's hips and inserted his cock into her cunt again. The air on his wet cock had felt cool and the sudden contrast as Emma's warm pussy engulfed him again was wonderful. Emma closed her eyes once more as she started sliding her hips up and down over his cock, and she smiled as they both began to moan.

"I want to feel your cum inside me," Emma said, and she gave his cock a squeeze with her pussy. Alex flinched with pleasure and smiled back at her.

"Your pussy is incredible," said Alex.

"I know," said Emma as she returned an evil-looking grin at him. She bucked her hips harder while Alex moaned and she squealed.

"I need you to cum in me!" Emma shouted at him as she bounced like a bronco rider. She gave his cock a harder squeeze while Alex yelled out, babbling incoherently.

"Cum in my cunt!" she screamed at him while fucking him furiously. She then gave him an almost supernatural squeeze with her pussy, and Alex began writhing in ecstasy and groaning like an animal. Emma closed her eyes and began her own climax as Alex pumped her cunt full of his cream. "Give it to me!" she shouted again with a stern face before squealing once again. She then slammed her hips down a final time, squeezing and grinding her pussy furiously around the base of his cock.

As they both slowly recovered, warm cum had begun to ooze around Alex's dick from Emma's pussy. Emma climbed slowly off of his body, then sat quickly upright on her knees, cupping her cunt with her right hand to keep it from dripping further. She laughed as she swapped hands, re-covering her still-dripping cunt with her other hand and raising her cum-covered fingers to her mouth. She licked her fingers meticulously to get every drop, and then licked her left hand after shoving her right hand back to the gooey mess between her legs. Alex was still breathing heavily, but his body was quickly shutting down. She giggled as she looked at Alex's spent body lying in front of her and began to pleasure herself with her creamy fingers.

"Well done!" she said to Alex. She began to giggle again as she continued to masturbate.

Alex struggled to keep his eyes open as he looked up at her. Fatigue was beginning to overwhelm him, and he felt cold and naked. His wet penis had begun to shrink, and he felt embarrassed by its now-shrunken size.

Emma giggled some more as she looked down on him, her busy fingers still working her pussy.

Alex's physical body became like a wet sock, and his mind was exhausted as he longed for her kiss and for her embrace. He normally felt tired after an orgasm, but this seemed out of the ordinary. His eyes slammed shut and he struggled to open them one last time to see Emma a few feet away from him. Her eyes were now closed and her fingers were furiously busy between her legs as she began to moan again. His eyes closed one more time and it was over. The next time he opened them, it would be morning, he would be alone in his bed, and Emma wouldn't exist.

*

Chapter 3: The Drawings

This wasn't the first time that Emma had seemingly disappeared from Alex's universe, but he wasn't sure how many times it had happened before. He'd wake up and she would be gone without a trace. Before the morning was over, his memories of her would be lost as well. It wasn't like he could file a missing person's report. She apparently never existed. There was no trace of her existence in his apartment or any records that he could find on the internet. Did she live with him? Were they married? He contemplated how to ask family and friends about her, but how does one go about that? "Did I have a wife or a girlfriend recently? I don't remember her name or what she looks like, but I think that we were extremely close." Given the circumstances, he hadn't shared his situation with anyone else.

Alex had come up with three theories about Emma and her disappearance. The first was that one of them had traveled to a parallel universe. Maybe he had traveled to a universe where she didn't exist. Or maybe she had traveled out of his universe. This multiverse theory was the most far-fetched of all of his theories, but he held onto it because it was the only one that offered hope that he could get her back. If one of them had traveled to a parallel universe, then maybe they could return, and everything would be normal again.

Alex's second theory was that Emma had only existed as part of his dreams. Accepting this theory meant coming to grips with the fact that she was never a real person. She was never coming back. Effectively, she was dead to him but had no grave. However, this theory might explain many things. Most dreams are lost from short-term memory within hours, so this could explain why he lost his memories of her each morning that it occurred. It would also explain why no evidence of her existence could ever be found. But DAMN, those dreams were vivid, and the connection with her seemed so real and meaningful.

Alex's third theory was that he was going insane. He'd seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind," and the possibility that Emma was a psychotic illusion seemed plausible, though extremely disturbing. So far, this theory had the fewest problems and was one that he couldn't rule out. Should he get some counseling? The last thing that he wanted right now was to talk to a psychologist or a psychiatrist. He couldn't face the possibility of being committed, and the whole idea of speaking to a psychologist just seemed really irritating—intimidating, even. Maybe this whole thing could be fixed with some pills, but he wasn't entirely sure that he'd want to lose her completely if he had a choice.

Alex reviewed his drawings of Emma and made a few finishing touches. His memories of her were already fading. He saw some rough patches that could use some touch-up work, but he didn't want to corrupt any of his memories if he didn't clearly remember those features.

The drawings had begun a ghoulish transformation for Alex. They had started out as images of someone he had known intimately. As he finished up the drawings, she was quickly becoming someone that he didn't know. It was like staring at the Mona Lisa. He was very familiar with the drawing, but not with the person.

Alex had made three pencil drawings and had removed them from his drawing table and stacked them on an easel for display. The first was of Emma's head. She had natural blonde hair that hung below her shoulders and was slightly wavy. The blonde color wasn't obvious with the pencil drawing, but he had noted this detail from his voice recording. She wore no earrings or any other type of jewelry, and her nose and mouth were very average in size as shape. Overall, she had an oval face that gradually tapered toward her chin, with somewhat prominent cheekbones. Her expression was one that Alex decided was slightly mischievous and determined. Alex sighed as he stared at her face again. She now looked like a complete stranger.

The second drawing was a full-body portrait of Emma. He'd decided to draw it as a nude, mostly because that was how he remembered her. She was slender and fit, and her muscles provided a fair amount of definition for a woman. Her breasts were about average in size.

The third drawing was a nude drawing of the front of her hips with her legs spread open. Alex was reluctant to begin a drawing from this perspective but decided to continue because his memories of this part of her were so vivid. He had drawn several nude portraits in the past, but they were all with official model releases and permission. This almost seemed like a violation and potentially disrespectful. This was definitely an odd situation, and he knew that he only had one chance to capture those memories before they would be gone. Besides, he wasn't even sure if she was a real person. "I can't believe that I'm drawing her pussy," he thought to himself more than once, as he was drawing.

The third drawing was interesting and distinctive in its own ways, much like the drawing of her face. Emma's pubic hair seemed to be a mostly natural bush, but the hair wasn't excessively long. The hair was still pretty blonde but was slightly darker than the hair on her head. It was shaped almost into an old-school triangular bikini trim but showed no signs of stubble near the boundaries, and there was no hair beside her labia. Alex drew her inner labia and clitoris in a somewhat aroused and swollen state largely because that was the way he remembered those features best. Her inner lips poked outward like flower petals and were a distinctive feature of her body, at least when she was aroused. Alex also included two freckles which were symmetrically located on either side of her vulva just outside of the bikini line, where her thighs met her hips. Alex would easily recognize that pussy if he saw it again.

Alex grabbed his phone and turned off the voice recorder app. There was nothing left to say since he could no longer remember anything about their encounter. He sighed as he sat motionless in the room. He was still naked, as he still had not gotten dressed. He glanced at his coffee cup, but it was cold, and the instant coffee wasn't very good even when it was hot. He felt glum but was pleased that he had been able to record a very detailed description of everything that he remembered of her from the day before. He then synced his phone to his computer and began running his transcription app which would turn his spoken words into text which he would review later.

As Alex's memories of Emma faded, they were replaced with intense emptiness and darkness. This happened with previous encounters, and Alex expected it to happen again. He dreaded what was coming. When he first woke up, it was like finding out that the love of his life had unexpectedly died. He felt waves of shock, intense loneliness, grief, and devastation. It was like a part of his soul had been ripped from him and a bloody hole was left behind. There was no physical body to mourn. It was like she had died in a violent plane crash or was lost at sea. He could get no sympathy from anyone; he grieved alone. Despite not even being able to remember her face, the feelings were just as bitterly intense if not worse. Normally, a person could hold onto a loved one's memory, but with Alex, even that had been taken away. It didn't completely make sense, but feelings don't always make sense in order to be painful. One thing was clear. Something deep inside of him was missing, and the pain was brutal.

There was also a darker side to Alex's response to his pain and emptiness. As the day went on, he felt increasing anger and resentment at the world for his situation, and along with that came a hunger for retaliation. At its worst, he would feel impulses of rage and would revel at the thought of cruelly lashing out at anyone. So far, he had been able to contain his rage to the extent that he hadn't actually acted it out. Even though he had contained it so far, this dark side shocked and troubled him. He could still feel it simmering inside as if his conscience had begun to decay. Alex knew that it was coming because it had happened before, and he did his best to actively keep it in check. Each time he experienced her disappearance, he felt as if he were becoming a less likable person. "Was this the third time that she disappeared? The fourth? Fifth?" he thought to himself. He had lost count. Alex lifted his arm to smash his easel against the wall but stopped himself. He felt powerless in this pit of hate.

Alex was apathetic about still being naked. In his haste, he had skipped getting dressed this morning, and it wasn't a priority unless he decided to leave his apartment. "Why bother unless I have to leave the house," he thought to himself. He was already feeling tired and run-down today, even though it was still morning. He made himself some proper coffee with freshly ground beans, which usually perked him up, and made some simple breakfast to enjoy with his coffee. His heart still wasn't into it, but he always tried to "Fake it 'till you make it" when he was feeling down. Acting happy usually did help to some extent, but this was especially challenging.

Today was a Friday and thought that he'd better check back with the office at work. He was a marketing director, and his team had just completed a large and successful project. He had planned to take today off, anyway, but had hoped to have spent his time doing something fun, rather than sulking at home. Monday was a holiday, and many employees were taking Friday off as well to extend their weekend. Fortunately, there wasn't anyone at work that required his assistance, because he might tell them to fuck off if they did. He then checked his own personal messages.

"Shit!" he exclaimed. He was reminded that he had scheduled a date tonight with someone through an online dating service. Tonight was certainly not a good night for a date, but it had been scheduled several days ago. He had created an account with a dating service about a year, ago but had been too busy at work to find time to follow through. He knew that he'd be free this weekend after his big marketing project, so he scheduled a date with a woman who had responded.

"I don't want to go on a date with some stupid cunt!" he said aloud to himself as he almost knocked his coffee over. He put his head in his hands and thought about how to get out of it. "Okay, I'll fake it until I make it," he thought as he accepted his fate. He decided to examine her profile, as he couldn't remember much about her. "She is pretty cute," he thought to himself, as he viewed her profile photo.

"Damn it! She's a psychologist. I'm doomed," he said aloud. "She'll diagnose me as a nutcase and run away. Or likely, she's a nutcase herself. Most psychologists get into the field to figure out their own neuroses."

Alex took a few more sips of his coffee and finished his breakfast. "Should I even be going out on a date now?" he asked himself. "It feels a little like cheating on Emma. Or maybe it's like going out on a date too soon after a breakup or the death of a spouse. Should I give it more time?" He thought some more. "On the other hand, I can't remember anything about her, and she may not even be a real person. This is weird." He drank the last few sips of coffee in his cup and then got a refill.

"Okay, in two out of three of my theories, Emma isn't real. She's something my brain cooked up either in a dream or through a psychotic episode." He sighed. "Fake it 'till I make it." His attitude was still pretty rotten, but he knew it and tried to compensate for it. "I'll go and try to enjoy getting out. It will probably be good for me."

"I almost forgot about my transcript!" he said out loud. Alex rushed to his computer began reading what the computer had transcribed from his voice recording. He had already forgotten most of what he had verbally spoken just recently, and reading the transcript gave him really creepy déjà vu. "Well, that explains why I remembered the physical details of her pussy so well," he said as he read through the explicit details of their intimate encounter. He examined his drawings again and then checked the fridge for Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse Dunkel that Emma had placed there according to the transcript. He could really use a beer right now, but none could be found. He also checked the living room to verify that Emma's clothes weren't lying on the floor where she had left them last night. He was desperate to find any tangible evidence of her existence. Having something physical that he could hold and touch would be comforting right now. Maybe something would eventually show up.

*

Chapter 4: Julia

Text from Alex: Just wanted to make sure everything is still go for meeting at 8 p.m. tonight at Café Calme.

Text from Julia: Yes, I'm looking forward to it!

"I'm looking forward to it," Alex thought to himself. "Not much to read into that." He had many mixed feelings about this tonight. Once again, he questioned the wisdom of meeting someone after what had recently happened. His mood had remained pretty foul today. In fact, his mood wasn't just foul, it was dark. Could he keep it under control? "Fake it 'til you make it." He would try.

Alex's apartment was conveniently located near several restaurants and bars, and Café Calme was one of many places within walking distance. It was a quiet place with soft jazz that seemed like a good place for conversation. The food was okay, but the drinks were good and not overpriced. The weather was pleasant, and the walk felt therapeutic.

Alex got to the café a few minutes early, so he got a table and ordered a drink before sending a text message to Julia.

Text from Alex: I got a table in the back section. I'll be looking for you.

Text from Julia: Thanks. I'm in a rideshare. Very close.

Alex waited until he eventually spotted someone who looked like Julia walking in his direction. He stood up and waved. "Julia?" he asked when she was in earshot.

"Alex?" she responded with a nervous smile.

"Yes," replied Alex. "It's so good to meet you!"

Their eyes met and Julia immediately burst out laughing. Alex's face fell.

"No!" sputtered Julia as she interrupted herself with more laughter. Alex's mood began to darken.

"I'm..." she started before restarting her laughter. "I'm so..." she tried before falling into laughter again.

"This isn't going so well," Alex said aloud, not caring whether she heard him or not.

A look of panic took hold of Julia's face and she struggled to contain herself. "I'm so sorry!" she managed to get out before resuming with some partially stifled laughter. Alex's face became stony.

"Oh, God!" she sputtered as she stopped her laughter and looked back at Alex with a terrified look. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," replied Alex coldly.

"I...uh...it's not you, it's me," said Julia. "Shit, that sounds awful, too. I can't believe I just said 'shit' in front of you."

Alex couldn't help by crack a smile at her last statement. Julia returned it.

"Why don't we sit down," suggested Alex.

"Yes, thank you," said Julia. She was breathing heavily as they sat down. "I apologize for my rudeness, Alex. I am so sorry."

"It's okay," said Alex. "Was there something particularly funny about me?"

"Well, no," she said. "I haven't gone out on a date in a really long time."

"Yes," Alex nodded.

"And I was just feeling intimidated by you before I got here," said Julia uneasily. "And stressed."

"Intimidated by me?" asked Alex.

"Yes. According to your profile, you seem very accomplished; you're a marketing director. I...I haven't been on a date in a while," said Julia in a rushed manner. "I saw you, and you just looked like a nice, normal guy. I saw it in your face. I felt so relieved. You looked friendly. All that tension released, and I couldn't stop laughing," she continued uneasily.