Eloise - A Tale of Young Love

"Eloise, you are gorgeous, and I hope you realise I want you," Nat whispered between kisses.

We packed up our picnic and walked back to the flat hand in hand. I knew Lucas and Tilly were out for the afternoon and we would have the place to ourselves. Nat offered to make me a cup of tea as soon as we arrived.

"Nat, I'm scared if we don't do it now, I will chicken out. Can we just go to your room?"

The smile on Nat's face was enough to calm me. He slowly removed my shirt and kissed my neck, his hands feeling my breasts through my bra. Nat then undid the button on my jeans and lowered the zip kissing down my body from my neck to my stomach. He lowered my jeans as he knelt before me.

"Wow, Eloise," he mumbled, "You smell fantastic."

I was clad only in my underwear and decided I should perhaps inspect Nat's body too. I removed his shit. He was skinny, almost scrawny, but my fingers were drawn to his brown nipples. I kissed his neck as he had kissed mine and he moaned. I undid his jeans and pushed them down his legs and his cock poked through his boxer shorts. I had never seen an erect cock before. Eliot pushed his boxers down and told me I could touch. It felt warm and soft and I spent time examining it with my fingers.

He guided my hand to stroke him up and down, but after a short while told me to stop or he would cum on the spot. I unhooked my bra and Eliot gasped as he saw my breasts for the first time. It probably didn't help when he told me they were bigger than his last girlfriend, but he seemed to enjoy them. He then removed my knickers. His fingers felt between my legs. He was gentle and it elicited moans from me. We lay together on the bed and he fingered me to orgasm. Rolling on a condom he asked me if I was ready and I nodded. It was painful at first, but soon he was balls deep in me. I felt a fullness, and it was not an unpleasant feeling, but I figured if that was all there was to penetrative sex then I could take it or leave it, especially as Nat emptied himself into the condom after less than a minute.

We lay there and cuddled for a bit and Nat told me how amazing I was. I did not know if I felt amazing. The orgasm with his fingers was nice, but the art of him having his cock in me I was indifferent to. I told him that I was expected home for dinner so dressed myself and told him I'd call. Nat suggested I stay over on Friday night the following weekend and I told him I'd think about it.

I told Carole about Nat and she told me it was appropriate I was experimenting sexually as long as we took precautions. I told her that I could not ever imagine being married to Nat and did not see him as my happily ever after and she assured me that this was fine.

Tilly and Lucas convinced me to go to Nepal with the university tour that December and January. I recognised this would be another Christmas away from Mum and I was hesitant, but Mum was insistent. Eliot and Leonie and their children had been up to visit me a couple of times throughout the year. I spoke to Leonie about Nat but did not invite him to meet them when they visited but she told me she was happy for me.

Our sex sort of improved. Even with a condom Nat had trouble lasting once he was inside me and I realised that as soon as I came my body almost switched off as Nat stopped paying attention to me. Nat tried to teach me to suck his cock and he tried eating me out, but I did not really enjoy either experience. After a few months Nat told me he was transferring universities and moving interstate and I was not sad to see him go. I thanked him for being my first lover and told him he would always have a special place in my heart for introducing me to sex. I'm not sure if I believed what I told him, but it sounded good and it made him cry.

Nepal was everything Tilly and Lucas had told me and then some. We were busy observing in hospitals in various parts of the country and on weekends helped in community health camps providing immunisations and basic health checks for people, many of whom walked over 15km to get to us. I made sure I sent a postcard every day. I sent them to Mum and Jarrod, Zoe, Noah and Ethan, Eliot and Leonie and Sam and Alice and Jarrod's parents and siblings. I also sent cards to Olivia, Hunter and Leith. I thought about sending a card to Finn and wasn't going to until I found a card with pictures of woven rugs on them. Gabby had loved weaving and had a loom in their spare room. I sent it to Finn and told him that Gabby would have loved the textiles in Nepal, and I told him that I was thinking of him especially around Christmas as it meant so much more to all of us who knew Gabby. I also sent cards to Maeve and Jeff and Eliot's parents Jill and Allan. I tried to Skype family at home, but internet connections were not reliable, so we resorted to emails.

My final year at uni flew by. I was asked on a few dates by different guys but turned them down instead choosing to focus on my studies. My 21^st birthday coincided with mid-year exams and in the semester break, I went home and had a barbecue at Mum and Jarrod's. We invited Eliot and his family and of course Finn and his children. Tilly and Lucas also joined us along with Jarrod's extended family. Mum and Eliot were strained at first, but soon Leonie had worked her interpersonal magic with Mum, the two of them getting on so well, and we all felt at home. Sam and Ethan played together, and Alice toddled around.

I escaped into the kitchen at one stage to get a glass of water and Finn followed me in.

"Eloise," he smiled, and I could not help but smile back, "Thank-you so much for the card from Nepal, it really meant a lot that you were thinking of me. How's uni?"

I told him it was good, and I was so looking forward to moving home in six months and I hoped to start work at the local hospital.

"So, you are moving back here then, I had wondered." Finn commented. "I was wondering though, um, do you have anything planned for the Summer holidays?"

"My last exam is early November. I'm not going back to Nepal and I don't think I'll spend another Christmas with Eliot without spending one with you and my family up here!" I laughed.

"Good, good, I'm glad to hear." Finn looked nervous and played with the edge of his glass. "Um, I, well the children really, were wondering if you might perhaps be our Nanny over the break. I've used a couple of different services over the last couple of years and they haven't worked that well and I was wondering if you might consider the position. I can't pay much, but you would have a room and food and I still have a cleaner who comes in once a week so I wouldn't be expecting you to be our slave or anything."

I told Finn it sounded perfect and could see he was relieved that I had agreed. Mum and I had almost patched things up after the whole Eliot discovery, but we were still not 100 percent back to where we were, and I was glad Finn gave me a chance to come home and not have to live with them for months at a time. Seeing Mum and Eliot together celebrating my birthday was a huge step and I was glad they were all getting along. I also felt that I had moved out of home when I went to uni and was not ready to head back there.

When I got back to uni Tilly and Lucas were still talking about my party.

"OMG El," Tilly exclaimed, "Your dad is a hottie! I knew your Mum was beautiful, but I can see where you get your beauty from. And Finn seemed awfully interested in you-- I saw you chatting in the kitchen for a while there!"

"Stop it Silly Tilly," I laughed, "Finn asked me to be the nanny over Christmas. It's a hard time for his family and I'll be glad to be there for them. Plus, you must have seen how gorgeous his kids are!"

"They are only gorgeous as they take after their father! I mean if Lucas wasn't here, I would have been moving in like nobody's business!"

"Who's talking about me?" Lucas had heard his name.

"I was just telling El that Finn is incredibly handsome and if you weren't around, but you are, and you are just as gorgeous!"

We all laughed. Even though Tilly and Lucas were staying put to work for the nest year I knew I would have to come and visit them once I graduated and they too promised to come and see me.

Maeve and Jeff were harder to say goodbye to. They had become like another set of parents to me. They were both glad I had agreed to look after their grandchildren over the Summer and were coming to spend Christmas with us. Siobhan and her children and new partner, Alex were also planning on heading our way. It was all set to be a huge celebration. I had babysat for Siobhan's children regularly and knew I was going to miss them but promised to keep in touch.

It felt almost strange pulling the golf into the driveway it had been parked in for the first few years of existence. Hunter and Leith flew out the door to greet me followed by Finn. Olivia was at Mum's playing with Zoe.

"C'mon boys," Finn laughed, "You've got most of the Summer with Eloise and you don't want her to get tired of you after a day!"

"Don't listen to your father," I joked hugging them both tight, "I could never tire of you two!"

They helped me carry a few things into the house from my car and Finn showed me my room. It was the former spare room that Gabby had used as a craft room.

"I finally donated the loom to a local fibrecrafting group" Finn explained. "It's a new bed and I hope it will be comfortable. Um, perhaps though some ground rules. If you, um, have a boyfriend, it's probably best for the kids' sake if you don't let him stay in your room if that's ok."

"Oh Finnian!" I laughed, "I'm going to be too busy with the kids to think about a boyfriend these holidays and besides, there's still plenty of time for that."

That evening after the kids were in bed Finn and I sat in the lounge with a cup of tea.

"And how about you Finn, are you dating again yet?"

Finn almost spat out his tea.

"You know I promised Gabby that I wouldn't let you wallow for too long and it's almost 5 years. I'm here over Christmas if you want to set up some dates or anything."

"You know you are beginning to sound like your mother!" Finn finally said still sipping his tea, "Gabby told her something similar, but I'm still not sure what I want."

"I can only imagine; I mean you and Gabby had something so special. I see it in Mum and Jarrod and your parents and even Eliot and Leonie and Tilly and Lucas. But as Carol the counsellor told me, not all relationships have to be about happily ever after and sometimes you need to just try something different."

"And is that what you've been doing El?"

"Well I was seeing a guy last year and it was nice, but I don't want nice; I think I'm looking for special."

I spent time with Mum over the following week and told her I was trying to push Finn into dating. Mum told me she had tried to line him up with lots of friends, but he just wasn't interested.

"He and Gabby had something so special and I get that he doesn't want to taint her memory with a fling, but unless he starts looking, he's never going to find what he's after." Mum explained and I heartily agreed.

Ruby and I caught up for a drink together on Friday evening with her colleagues. She wanted to introduce me to a man she worked with. Either Ruby saw something in this guy that I didn't, or she had no idea of my tastes in people, but pushy and brash was never going to be on my list.

"He thinks he's a Casanova, El," Ruby explained later when we were alone, "And hey, you two could have a bit of fun which never hurts."

"Thanks Ruby, but I'm busy with the kids and Finn doesn't like the idea of me entertaining guys in the house with the kids around which I'm fine with so I'll leave it for now."

"Mm..." Ruby drooled as she sipped her vodka, "Finn! Is he still as dreamy as ever? I mean, he is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome and that bum of his is crying out to be held."

I laughed, but Ruby was right. Finn was indeed attractive.

"You know I'm trying to get him dating again. I know he's a bit older than us but how about I see if the two of you can catch up for a drink one evening after work next week- it would be good for him and hey, you might melt him after all this time!"

Ruby was the epitome of sexy. Her dark hair cascaded down her back and she had curves in all the right places. She had often told me how much she loved sex and wanted to experience as much with as many different people as possible before settling down. In many ways I was jealous of her. I wanted to be like her and willing and able to pick guys up in bars and take them home and hook up with people, but I also recognised that this was not me.

"Wednesday evening," I approached Finn after dinner one night, "You are going to meet up with my Aunt Ruby for a drink after work and neither of us will take no for an answer."

"Um, thanks, but..." Finn started.

"No buts. She's not married or divorced, and she doesn't have kids. Sure, she's a bit younger than you, but she's lovely and incredibly sexy!"

"Fine. If it will shut you and your mother up then yes. I will meet Ruby for a drink."

"You won't regret it!" I smiled at Finn and he shook his head laughing.

"You know I'm just choosy, and I always have been. I don't think Ruby is my type, but for you because you are such an awesome nanny I will agree."

It was nice to see Finn smiling. I always enjoyed our evenings on the couch sipping tea. We talked about so much from work to my studies to my dreams and aspirations. We also reminisced about Gabby a lot.

Wednesday morning, I chastised Finn for wearing an old polo shirt and walked into his closet and pulled out a pale pink shirt with white spots on it.

"Put this on!" I instructed, "You're already wearing navy pants and it goes well with them."

Finn thanked me with a smile and laugh.

"Wow Daddy, you look nice!" Olivia declared over breakfast.

"Daddy is meeting up with a friend after work and it's nice to see him looking so handsome, isn't it?" I smiled at Olivia and noticed Finn turning beet red.

When the boys were outside playing after school, Olivia came and sat with me in the kitchen.

"Ellie," I could see Olivia was pensive about something and she hardly ever called me Ellie, "If Daddy gets married again will we still see you?"

"Oh Liv," I walked around the bench and gave her a huge cuddle, "I don't know if Daddy is going to marry anyone and having a drink with someone after work doesn't mean Daddy is going to marry them."

"Good." Olivia said as she broke my embrace and wandered off to her room.

Ruby sent me a photo of what she was wearing asking if it was too much. Her skirt was shorter than any I owned, and I probably would not have undone the extra button on her blouse, but there was no doubting she was gorgeous. It was only seeing this photo and thinking of the time she would be spending with Finn alone when I noticed I was slightly jealous.

I thought back to my sessions with Carol and how Gabby did not necessarily intend for me to be the woman Finn chose to spend the rest of his life with and the fact that she could not meddle from the grave, but I had to admit that I wished I had probed further during our conversation. I knew the 21-year-old me would have probed much further than the 16-year-old me and I also recognised that the 16-year-old me possibly totally misread Gabby.

The kids and I were sitting eating dinner when Finn walked in. I did not know what time I expected him, but I felt that this was earlier than I would have thought. I could see evidence of Ruby's lipstick on his neck and a mark on his collar. Finn kissed his children and told them he was tired and would read them a story after he had a shower. I told him there was plenty of food and he looked at me with sad eyes and told me that he was fine.

Placing the last of the dishes in the dishwasher from the evening Finn walked silently through the kitchen to the laundry with his shirt in his hand. He was deliberately avoiding eye contact. I set the dishwasher to run and placed some pans away that I had handwashed and walked to the laundry door.

"Do you need a hand with anything?"

"Thank-you, Eloise, but I think you've done more than enough this evening. I'll soak the shirt and hope the fucking stuff comes out, but I can manage perfectly well on my own thank-you."

Sensing Finn's anger and not wanting him to see the tears in my eyes I retreated to my room. There was a message waiting from Ruby, "Fuck he is one screwed up guy. Wouldn't stop talking about his dead wife and then bolted when I tried to kiss him."

"Well I can see you did kiss him as evidenced from your lipstick on his neck and collar!"

"He turned away as I leant in. I thought by kissing him he might shut up about Saint Gabby, but no, he bolted. I don't know if he's ready to date El, plus I really don't think he's my type of guy."

I wanted to reply that this was only because she couldn't get him into bed, but I held back.

"I hope this shirt meets your approval, Eloise." Finn stated tersely as he came late to breakfast.

"I'll drive the kids to school because you're running late." I said meekly and left the room. I was glad the kids hadn't been present for our terse words and I tried to put on a brave face for them. Olivia gave me an extra hug as she left me walking the boys to their classroom. I knew she sensed something was up and I planned to have words with her after school.

Arriving home, I was surprised to see Finn's car was still in the garage. He had cleared away the breakfast dishes for me and the dishwasher was again running. I collected the kids' laundry and whilst I usually collected Finn's from his room, his door was closed so I left it. In the laundry I saw the shirt soaking from the night before. The stain was still evident. I sprayed some stain remover on it and put it in with my load hoping for the best. Hope was never a good stain remover and I was angry when the stain was still there when the load finished. I hung the rest of the laundry outside and set out googling how to remove lipstick.

Hairspray did not work. Vodka did not work, but then again it had said rubbing alcohol and I could only find vodka wishing I had some alcohol wipes from the hospital. Whatever I tried, I seemed to make the stain worse. This was obviously not a new shirt, but it was a quality label and I was determined to get than darned stain out. Dabbing vinegar on the stain I was becoming frustrated and did not realise how much pressure I was placing on the collar. It should have not surprised me, but the fabric started thinning on the crease of the collar and I could see fibres fraying along the fold.

Trying to wipe my tears as I walked from the laundry to the kitchen I did not notice Finn standing there with a cup of tea.

"Eloise, what's wrong?" Finn's voice seemed to be again filled with care.

"I'm sorry I meddled in your love life. It was wrong of me and I can understand why you are angry with me, but I'm pissed at myself because I've gone and ruined the shirt."

"Oh El," Finn pulled me in for a hug and was laughing, "I think we need a chat. I've called in sick today. I'll pour you a tea and meet you in the lounge."

Finn placed the tea in my hand and sat opposite me.

"I should have thought before setting you up with Ruby. I know she's a little different to Gabby."

"A little different!" Finn was laughing, "Yeah, you could say that I suppose! El, I've never done casual sex. Gabby and I were united from when we were 15. I mean, I have thought about sex over the last couple of years, but I don't see myself as someone who could find fulfilment from a casual encounter. It's just not me."

"Honestly Finn," I started, but he shushed me.

"I know Gabby spoke with you and your Mum and told you that I was not allowed to wallow, believe me, she told me too amongst other things, but I have to work things out in my own time and my own way. I have a Christmas Party for the clinic and I know one of the nurses, Helen, likes me so I might see what happens there, but yes, I am ready to move forward so you can count your end of the bargain complete."