All Comments on 'Entrapment - Moving On'

What BS. What was the point of this, simply to waste my time. You succeeded, that was a waste of time. It was also an education. I learned not to bother reading anything more from you.

Im going to give a detail explanation as to why I gave your story a one for it sudden ending. first off

"Probably not"

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The only content on page 2.

This would have been a good story if the was an actual ending.

I think this is a sequel of the story I read a few weeks ago about the wife and her friend betting something about what the wife's husband will do...

If this is a sequel, then the husband is in trouble, because he had sex with Vicky.

Please FTDS...

And the point of this story is????

Err, what?? Can someone please explain what this piece of art was about?

No clue why happened? I do hope the writer knows what wa a happening?

It’s not a crouch, it’s a crotch. Look up both words.

....?

Where's the beef? Was there supposed to be a story amongst that jumble of mindless words? You should quit while you're ahead, I for one will not waste time looking at anymore of your worthless stories.

Some typos and things like that, pick out a good proof reader. Not a bad story, its pretty creative but it really needs to be more of a story, this entire thing could have happened in 2 hours, not taken a day. I see talent in you, you are pretty descriptive and make scenes almost seeable. don't give up.

Good writing….but disliked it because it was totally incomplete. Lots of teases and not a single one explained. If a first set up chapter…fine. But as a finished product? Insulting.

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2 **

Are these guys pirates? They kept saying Arrrr.

A waste of time.

Forgot to include any reasoning at all as to how this is any sort of ‘entrapment’… or was it just an April Fools joke that fell flat?

Whatever this was trying to be, unless it was a troll piece, it failed miserably.

Since I can't give a zero it gets a one.

Was this generated by one of those software algorithms that spits out random words in a vague, almost viable sentence structure? Because if not, it makes even less sense than whatever the hell I just read thinking an actual, literate human was trying to write something.

Fantastic outline for the real story!! First time ive read a story with Air Tags!! They ate Steak!! Her name was Vicky!! ..... And in the future try to limit the use of exclamation points to one a page!!

I found it interesting up till the rather abrupt ending. I was still looking forward to understanding the dynamics. The driver mentioned drifting from his wife and her previous joke or more sinister effort to "catch" him. Add in the woman on the run, his concern about electronic surveillance yet he never mentioned her texting every time he left the room. A woman with kids on the run yet missing the kids, seems like a lie. The beat-up chase vehicle, to what end? You left us hanging!

for bogus goods. You remind me of a slick salesperson who talks for hours but doesn't reach any sort of point or conclusion. We know this guy got some decent pussy, and maybe a venereal disease, and maybe a paternity suit. She has his photo, his prints, probably his DNA sample, most likely a video of them entering the room, whatever else her and her accomplice might need. But to what point? Exactly. And what was with his wife and her supposed deceit and manipulation? Nothing.

So it was an interesting illustration of two people deceiving each other and probably themselves. For what purpose? Obviously it doesn't matter. And neither does this story. Thanks for the effort.

Well written story about nothing - 3*

Either this was submitted and it got screwed up, or this is one of the most pathetic stories I have seen on here. I assume this is a wheels within wheels story, with his wife and the woman playing a game, but all it comes off as is an irritating bore. It reminds me of a movie where two idiots are trying to top one another on how clever they are and all you would like to do is strangle them.

This is like Grandma's All Jug Band on Hee Haw. They don't really end a song, just just stop and one of them say, "We're through playin' now!" Did you just run out of story and figured you'd turn in what you had for partial credit?

Was there a story here?

Might have been good, but in the end it fell really flat.

?,?,?.strange.

Nothing here to complain about, but nothing to get excited about either. It could have been a good story, but it just stopped.

Still wondering what the point of this was with absolutely no ending, therefore it only gets a 1*.

Needs part 2 - what happens next as he does a follow up...

Not particularly interesting.

Was this supposed to be a story?

Wherr is the ending?

Hm, I hope there comes a chapter 3 with a real (good) ending.

Ends too abruptly, nice start though.

What was that all about?.

I thought he'd just been found guilty of two murders?

2*s for the cheater. just get a divorce

She is a thieving hooker that got BUSTED by a pro. He got a free piece of good ass and she got nothing but his dick.

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He demonstrated that all her snatched info is worthless but he countered her to show how he got the drop on her. Due to his occupation he, in affect, did a reverse espionage on her ID & data theft that may have led to her attempting to blackmailing him.

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> Take that bitch!

/

4.5*, Hooyah, Salutes....

That's it ?

I AM curious about the continuation...final remarks when I finish the whole story...