Escaping Her Past

"Yeah, you did. I mean, I have cared for mechanics and young men and older men for the last few years. I mean, how would you like it if I told you a young woman was on the ward after being thrown from her horse and suffering a brain bleed before you started work?"

"I'm sorry, it's been a rough weekend not that I should use that as an excuse. I just, I want to be able to work with you, and, shit. I'm just sorry and I feel like a bit of a prick really. The coffee could not have come at a better time though, honestly, thanks for that. I'm almost a consultant, I'm almost there, and yet, I still worry that I don't know everything."

"None of us knows everything! Are you planning on sticking around when you do become a consultant?"

"I'd like to. Dr Charters told me when I interviewed there would be a position for me, but I worry that working so close to you might make things harder for, like, the two of us."

I told Greg this probably wasn't a conversation the two of us should be having in work hours anyway and suggested he head off for a nap for a bit.

"Everything ok?" Carly asked when I returned to the floor.

"Yeah, everything's ok." I reassured her with a smile, however I was not sure if I was convinced it was.

At the end of the shift Chris and I walked out together and I apologised for requesting where to work on the ward.

"Darl, don't be silly! I didn't need to change anything. I was always going to put you in Dr Hottie's vicinity! The sooner you two can work things out the better!"

~*~*~*~

"How's your week been, Chloe?" I was again seeing Jill on Thursday morning.

I told her of my discussion with Greg on Friday evening, hugging and then holding hands as we sat in our own chairs. I told her about Cassie and Greg being on call and his interference.

"Have you had time to have a talk since?"

"Not really. I've worked lates since Sunday and another one this afternoon and then a three-day weekend. He was exhausted after his on-call weekend and I don't want to talk at work, especially with so many prying eyes."

Jill asked me to explain my last comment and I spoke of Chris and Carly obviously picking up on us chatting together and Chris being super encouraging.

"I told him I didn't need saving and the first thing he does is interfere in my work. I mean, I was even beginning to think there might be a spark there between us."

"Did Greg go to Chris and get Chris to assign you to a particular section?"

"Well, no."

"Did he tell treat the patient differently because of you?"

"I don't think so, I can't imagine him doing that, I mean he's always professional around patients and he is such an amazing doctor."

I could see where Jill was leading with her questions. I was willing to admit I had catastrophised the situation a little. Admitting that if a patient came in who had fallen from a horse over a weekend when Greg was not working, I would have told him too I felt horrible for my actions.

"So, it seems your feelings towards Greg are deepening, Chloe?" Jill was busily writing notes as she spoke with me.

"I like him. I mean, even if he wasn't so darn good looking, he has a laid-back charm about him, and he is so easy to talk to. I, um, well, I actually found myself fantasising about the two of us in bed the other night and managed to orgasm for the first time since I was raped."

"That's the first time you've ever used the word 'rape,' you've always referred to it as the 'incident' or 'event' or framed it around Mick. Do you think you're finally letting go?"

I took some time to reflect on Jill's observations. Perhaps I was letting go after all and perhaps I was ready to move on. Jill never talked about her private life but I saw she wore beautiful wedding and engagement rings. I had to remind myself that other people have normal romantic relationships and perhaps I should indeed give Greg a chance. We made an appointment for two weeks' time.

Cathy had arranged for my interview for senior nurse to happen before my shift. She had praised me on my application letter when we arranged the interview and all but hinted it would be a formality. After my session with Jill, I went home and prepared myself for work. I looked in my wardrobe and saw my scrub shirts hanging neatly in a row. I saw the skirts and tailored pants that were part of our uniform and I saw a dress that had RN embroidered on the collar. Part of my return to work program had seen me lobby to have a scrub option available to staff and since then I had always worn these pyjama-like clothes, using them to hide my body.

Removing the dress from the hanger, I stood in front of the mirror and held it against me. I grabbed some black tights from my drawer and rolled them up my legs and over the scar on my belly. The dress slid easily over my hips and I did up the buttons one by one. I never wore makeup to work usually, but I put some tinted lip gloss on my lips. When I smiled, I caught the first glimpse in a long time of a person I hardly recognised anymore. I was smart, I was capable, and I was going to get a promotion.

I stopped at the coffee shop across from the hospital and bought Greg his usual and a chai for myself. I was half an hour early for my interview.

'Hey, I just grabbed you a coffee and am downstairs. Not sure if you're free or not. I can bring it to you if you would prefer. Oh and, I may have overreacted a little on Sunday...'

'I was about to jump in the lift and head down for lunch- will see you in a tic!'

"Whoa!" the look on Greg's face when he saw me was one of shock, "Wow! You rock that dress!"

"I thought I'd wear it for my interview and pretend to be professional and all that shit!"

"I think you'll be just fine. Cathy already loves you!"

"I overreacted. You came to me, you didn't go to anyone else and if I was working and you weren't and a head injury from a horse-riding accident came in of course I would let you know."

"I could have asked you if you wanted to know about these sorts of patients, but I didn't and thought I was saving you after you already told me not to do that."

"Can we perhaps just forget about it and move forward? I, um, have tomorrow off and thought I might make tortellini for dinner if you wanted to join me."

Greg's smile said his response before he vocalised it. Our hands were next to each other on the bench we were sitting at and I moved mine across so our little fingers were touching.

"I want to hug you right now, but perhaps we shouldn't on work grounds." Greg whispered to me.

"I can give you an IOU for tomorrow evening."

"As long as it means an extra one tomorrow that will be fine!"

We were both smiling. Greg thanked me for the coffee, and I went upstairs for my interview. It went well. Chris was the other member of the panel and at the end Cathy told me I was more than ready for this promotion.

"One thing, I, um probably want to mention to both of you," I stopped after my interview to talk with Cathy and Chris, "Um, well, Greg Braithwaite and I are, well, we're good friends, and, um, well..."

"Darl!" Chris drawled, "Isn't that old news now? I've been waiting for you two to get it together! About bloody time too! I do need to pop out, so I'll leave you and Cathy to have a chat."

"He always makes me smile," I said to Cathy after he had closed the door behind him, "He's such an asset to our team."

"As are you! Now, it's not unusual for doctors and nurses to form relationships but having you both on the same ward could prove challenging for you both. I know I don't need to remind you about the hospital code of conduct regarding fraternisation on hospital grounds..."

"Oh, good heavens, no!" I said in a shocked tone, "I mean, I know I can remain professional, but I thought I should let you know."

Cathy thanked me and told me how happy she was for me. At my dinner break I had two messages, one from Mum saying Nonna was making Lasagne on Saturday and wanted to know if I wanted to join them in visiting her and one from Greg reminding me how special I was. I texted Greg first:

'Nonna's making lasagne Saturday and wants me to visit, care to join me? Warning, Mum, Carlo and the boys will be there too...'

'If her lasagne is half as good as yours it will be amazing!'

'Sounds good Mum,' I replied, 'Oh, and I'm bringing Greg.'

Mum's reply made me blush and laugh all at the same time.

"Did you hear Dr Hottie's got a girlfriend?" Nicole was with me in the breakroom.

"I can't keep up with everyone's social life around here, but he's a nice man so good for him." I replied.

I longed to tell Nicole that I wasn't surprised he had started telling people, but at the same time it made me nervous. When Mick and I started going out I would spend my breaks talking about him with my colleagues. It felt different with Greg though. I wanted to savour some anonymity for a while.

"Have you seen the new pain doctor who comes to the ward in the mornings, he's a bit alright, I mean, he's not as hot as Dr Greg, but he'd still be a catch, Chloe!"

"I'm alright thanks. If I wanted a man, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to get one on my own!"

"Nice dress by the way, I don't think I've ever seen you out of scrubs!"

~*~*~*~

My run complete, the pasta dough and filling resting in the fridge, and the beginnings of a sauce chopped on the wooden board on my bench, I heard my phone ping.

'Seeing I didn't get out of here until well after 3 last Friday and had a shit of an on-call, Dr Charters has sent me home now!' I checked my watch and noted it was noon. 'Was thinking of grabbing some sushi. Want anything? I could swing by yours if you wanted?'

As I was typing my reply telling him that sounded pretty good, another message from Greg came through telling me he didn't want to push and if I didn't want to see him until later that would be fine too.

'I was typing my order for you! I'd love to see you and talk properly. Plus, I owe you a hug or two! Tuna and avocado or salmon or anything really- surprise me!'

Half an hour or so later Greg tooted his horn at the front gate. I let him in and as soon as he was out of his car, I threw my arms around him and brought him in for a hug.

"Mmm! Hello! A week is a long time without a hug, isn't it!"

"Yeah, well, you'll get plenty from Mum and Carlo and Nonna tomorrow!"

"You sure about me coming tomorrow?"

"Yeah, well if your girlfriend says it's ok..."

"My girlfriend?"

"Nicole was telling me on break last night that you were off the market and had found someone. She suggested I check out the new pain doctor who rounds in the mornings, noting he's not as hot as you!"

"Bloody hell word spreads quickly in that place! I was heating up lunch and Mindy was complaining Sofia had cancelled on their plans for Saturday night and she asked if I might like to go out with her instead. I told her I didn't think my girlfriend would like that!"

I hadn't realised it was a comment to deter Mindy. I felt a little deflated and walked in front of Greg into the unit.

"Of course, If anyone else had asked me out they would have received the same response, because, well, Chloe," Greg stepped in front of me, "I really, really like you and I can feel some sort of special connection between us and I'd like to call you my girlfriend, but I also understand if you aren't ready yet."

Pulling Greg in for another hug I told him that although things had moved relatively quickly, I did not object to being referred to as his girlfriend as long as I could mention to people that I had a boyfriend too.

"I, um, just think it's best that perhaps we don't spread it too much around work, that's all."

"No, as always you're right. I wanted to rub it into Mindy's face, but I also want you to know that I class myself as off the market so to speak!"

We sat and ate our sushi, laughing and giggling about things that had happened to us during the week. I told Greg about my session with Jill and how she didn't want to see me for a fortnight this time. We were sitting together on my couch and every so often would reach across and just brush against each other.

"You know you told me last weekend to tell you when I was ready for a hug..."

Greg smiled as he faced me. I think he was more shocked than me though when I threw my leg over his, reached for his cheeks with my hands and leant in for a kiss. Gentle and tender, sensual and affectionate. My arms soon wrapped around Greg's neck as he started exploring my mouth with his tongue. His whiskers tickled but I was too lost in the moment to notice too much about them.

"Let me know if I'm squashing you," I muttered between kisses. Greg's kisses back assured me I was not.

I could feel his arousal digging into me and wondered if he could feel my nipples poking into him.

"I'm going, to need, to stop, this soon, or else, I won't, be able, to stop," Greg muttered between kisses.

'What if, I don't, want you, to stop," I muttered back.

"I want you to be sure," Greg held my cheeks and gazed into my eyes. I was already unbuttoning his shirt. "I, um, also don't have any condoms with me."

"Sorted that- I picked them up after seeing Jill yesterday."

"You talked about this with Jill?"

"Not exactly, but she helped me see how much I really, really, like you and want to be with you and to me that involves us doing the mattress mambo! Can I show you upstairs?"

I led Greg by the hand up the steps, pausing every few to stop and kiss each other. Greg's chest was perfect. It was covered in tufts of dark hair and was firm and solid. My heart was pounding, but I tried to focus on being in the here and now and not in the past. My hands began to shake, and I could feel my breathing increase. We paused at the top of the steps.

"Chloe, what can you see?"

"I can see you, your face, your lovely beard and stunning blue eyes."

"What can you smell?"

"I can smell your beard oil, it smells different today, not coffee, woodier."

"What can you feel?"

"Your chest, the way the hair swirls around and I can run my fingers through it.

"What can you taste?"

"You, your lips. Oh Greg, I want this so much, I really do." I led him by the hand into my room.

"The linen's very pink!"

"It's meant to turn men off."

"It has the opposite effect on me!"

I lifted the light sweater I was wearing over my head giving Greg the first glimpse of my chest and bra covered breasts. Greg trailed kisses down my neck and then down the strap of my bra leading to the cup. Reaching behind myself I undid the clasp and shrugged the straps down my arms letting the bra fall to the floor.

"They're not big, I'm sorry."

"They're perfect."

My nipples were hard, and Greg alternated between rolling them between his finger and thumb and licking them with his tongue. I closed my eyes, rolling my head back as I savoured the pleasure. Greg appeared in no hurry and I did not want to rush him.

"May I?" Greg asked as his fingers touched the button on my jeans.

My smile and nod saw him gaze into my eyes as he undid the fastenings. He was on his knees by this stage and he kept looking at me as he slid the jeans down my legs. I had not been sure how he would react to the scar on my stomach, but he simply ignored it as if it did not exist. I stepped out of my jeans and pulled Greg to his feet. I reached for his belt and unfastened it followed by the fastenings on his chinos.

His pants fell to the floor, aided by the weight of his phone and wallet in his pockets. I could see his desire poking in front of him, trying to find a way to edge out of his briefs. We returned to our kisses and I loved the feeling of our chests against each other

"You're so beautiful, my love," Greg was cupping my bottom with his hands, drawing us closer together.

Reaching for the waistband on my undies, I started rolling them down my legs. I stepped out of them and turned to pull the doona down on my bed. Turning back, I slid my hands underneath Greg's briefs, cupping his firm bottom in my hands and leaning in for more kisses. The anxiety I felt at the top of the stairs was gone and I longed to climb into bed with him. I edged his briefs lower, bringing my hands to the front to get the elastic over his manhood. I bit my lip looking down as his cock came into view. It was as beautiful as the rest of him, thick with prominent veins and a curve at the tip.

"Just perfect." I stroked it and explored it with my fingers. The heat emanating from it was intense.

We climbed into bed together and resumed our kissing, this time lying on our sides. I felt calm but was far from relaxed.

"We can stop whenever you need to, my love."

"I don't want to stop. I want to feel you inside me."

I reached for the condoms I had stashed in my bedside drawer. Removing one from the box, I opened it with trembling fingers before rolling it down Greg's shaft.

"Is it ok if I lie back and let you guide the pace?" Greg asked with a kiss. It sounded perfect.

Straddling him again, this time unimpeded by clothing, I lowered myself onto his cock, my folds enveloping him smoothly and gently. The groan Greg gave as he entered me elicited a similar response from my mouth. Greg felt perfect in me, filling me in a way I had not experienced for so long. I leant forward and our mouths met yet again. My body was rocking back and forth, my vaginal walls stroking Greg and enjoying the experience.

As we kissed, I felt my arousal growing and an orgasm nearing. I maintained my rhythm and warned Greg I would not last long. A guttural sound emanated from my mouth as I felt the first twitches from my vagina. I cried out as the sensation overtook my body.

"That's it, my love, just like that, set yourself free... oh fuck, I'm cumming..." which saw Greg elicit his own moan as he pumped his seed inside the condom. "I couldn't last, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it was perfect." I smiled and lay on Greg's chest at his insistence, his arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace.

Feeling his cock soften, I slid to the side and Greg discarded the condom.

"How are you feeling?"

"Pretty fucking amazing! You were, well amazing. I felt so full. I honestly have no complaints."

"Me either! It was bloody fantastic! I, um, don't think I had this in mind when I was picking up the sushi, that's for sure! I mean, don't get me wrong, I have wanted to do this for ages, but, wow, I don't think I ever imagined it could be that good!"

Greg stroked my hairline as we gazed into each other's eyes, huge grins on our faces.

"I know I shouldn't compare, but Mick never made me feel that good!"

"I'm not him, but I guess from time to time I will still remind you of him."

"Maybe, but you are so different."

"You know I'm falling hard for you, don't you?"

"That's the lust talking!"

"That wasn't lust for me, it was another L word." Greg leant towards me to kiss me again and I realised that my heart was singing.

"You look tired, shall we nap?"

"Mmm... that sounds nice! Can I hold you?"

I rolled away and Greg spooned me. I felt safe and secure. Waking an hour or so later I felt Greg's cock pressing against my back. I removed myself from his grip and rolled back to face him. Stroking his cock with my hand I saw a smile creep across his face as he stirred.

"Not satisfied yet, woman?"

"Very, but I don't know if we should let this go to waste!"

"Do you like being eaten out?"

"It's been so long; I mean Mick refused..."

"Shh..." Greg laid me on my back and proceeded to kiss down my body.

"I haven't trimmed or shaved or anything."

"So? I'm not complaining here!" Greg continued to kiss down my stomach.

Eventually his tongue reached my pleasure pool. He kissed up the labia and then swirled his tongue over my clit ever so briefly before licking downwards and penetrating me with his tongue. Focussing on my clit, he inserted one then two fingers inside me and reached for my G-spot. My own hands went for my breasts and I rubbed them and tweaked my nipples, my head tossing from side to side. Greg was an expert. My hands flew down by my side as an orgasm swept over me, so intense and so strong that my mouth simply uttered a series of percussive noises as if I was trying to get a message out in Morse code. Greg slowed his attentions but did not stop until I had to drag his face away as the intensity was too much.