Esther

"Did you think I was lying?" Jake seemed to whisper in her ear. "He has no conviction, no passion, he is hiding something. He has something to hide in his past. He is going to hurt you a lot worse than I ever did. I was gentle with you, good to you when you did as you were told. He will never be gentle. He wants to hurt you. It's all he wants."

"No!" she said out loud.

Ben turned to her, his eyes wide. "Esther?"

"I... I don't feel well, this is all... so much."

"It's fine dearheart. It is getting late anyway and we should be taking our leave," he said standing and offering his hand. As soon as they stood, more shouts and cheers went up along with some course words. "Thank you all for coming," Ben said, smiling at the good natured jibes. "Please stay as long as you like and enjoy the festivities. If you need me in the next week... well, don't," he said with a red face and a chuckle that said he was embarrassed to make the joke, as light as it was.

More cheers and well wishes and shouts went up and Ben led her away from the rowdy party. The walk back to his little home was too short and very quiet compared to the loud party.

"Is the air helping, do you feel better?" he asked in concern. He paused at the door to the little house, hand on the latch.

"I am fine. Just a little light headed. I guess I should have eaten a bit more, I guess I forgot today."

"Oh. I have some bread, and some butter and honey? And I will make you some tea?"

"Just a bit of bread please, thank you Ben."

He opened the door then paused again. "I think... I am supposed to carry you across? Would that be all right?"

She smiled at him and held her arms up. His grin said he was hoping she would let him. He carried her into the small home and set her gently in the only chair. He hurriedly cut her a piece of bread and spread butter on it before handing it to her and watching her worriedly. She laughed softly. "I am fine, Ben. Please stop worrying so much. But... are you sure? About me?"

"Of course dearheart," he said, kneeling in front of her and looking up earnestly. "None of what happened to you was in your control. None of it. I adored you before I knew about it, and I adore you still. The only difference is now I want to help you heal. If you will let me?"

"I will try... I am still afraid of him in some ways. I fear everyone has something lurking beneath the surface, waiting for the chance to rear up. Even people I know would never hurt me."

"Time is the only thing that will help. I could offer words, but they will not help, only time and action. Do you feel a bit better now that you have some small something on your stomach?"

"Yes Ben, I am fine... " She blushed, knowing what was supposed to happen next. She wasn't sure she could do it. She was unclean and he was so pure and good. She was tainted, used, spoiled.

"Never fear me, dearheart," he whispered sadly. He stood and lifted her gently, carrying her to their small bedroom. He set her on the end and pulled back the covers, then hesitated, unsure. "May I confide in you, Esther?" he asked softly.

"Of course, husband," she said quickly, anything to put off what was about to happen.

"I have never... I have never been with a woman. When I kiss you, in a moment, it will be my first kiss."

Esther looked up at him, her cheeks burning with shame.

"I fear... I fear I may not be well versed in exactly..."

"Ben," she interrupted quickly, horrified. "Would you help me with my buttons please?" she asked, standing and turning, moving her hair. His hands shook as he undid her buttons, then lingered on her shoulders when he finished. "There is no right or wrong way husband," she whispered.

He turned her then, looking down at her. He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. It was awkward and unsure and very quick. He did it again, almost exactly the same way, then again. Esther felt a little unsure and a little embarrassed, but she slid her hands up his chest, across his neck to tangle into his hair. She pulled him into a kiss, lingering and full, pulling him closer to kiss him passionately. He learned quickly, pulling her up against him, practically crushing her against him. She pulled back slightly and looked down and he pressed his lips to her head as he tried to breathe. He let her go, nodding slightly, though she had no idea what he was nodding at. He turned and rolled the knob on the lamp, putting out the flame and she stood there in the dark a little confused.

His hands found her in the darkness and his hands moved to the shoulders of her dress, sliding it down, letting his fingers trail over her arms as he did. She knew he was shaking again and his breathing was ragged. She was inexplicably calm as she stood before him, letting him undress her and touch her, his fingers so gentle and timid. He trailed back up her arms to her neck and leaned in to kiss her again, this time kissing her as she had kissed him. It was quick though, as his hands slid down to her shoulders. He fumbled with her underclothes and she stepped back, undoing them for him and letting them drop before she moved closer and slid her hand up his chest. She unbuttoned his shirt after sliding his jacket off over his shoulders and spread it open, her hands gliding over his chest. His hand went to her bare waist and he jerked back as if burned. She took his hand and pulled it back, putting it on her hip. She moved her hands to his pants and unbuckled his belt as his breathing quickened. His other hand went to her other hip and he held her in tense hands, trembling.

She was still calm as she unfastened his pants and let them fall. She took his hands then and led him to the bed, climbing in. He climbed in after her, but he paused, his body stiff and unsure. She reached for him, sliding her fingers into his hair again and pulling him close for a kiss. When his bare chest pressed against her bare chest he made a noise that she could only describe as a whimper of ecstasy. She took his hand and guided his hand to her breast and he pulled his mouth back from their kiss, gasping. He did not pull away, his hand gently caressing and exploring, then he moved and wrapped his mouth around her nipple, licking and sucking.

"Yes," she whispered. "I like that!"

Her encouragement made him bolder, moving to her other breast and doing the same, sucking and biting gently and rolling her nipple between his lips. He moved higher to kiss her again, his hand sliding down to her hip to her thigh. He pulled her leg up to press against his waist. He made another noise of need as he pulled back.

"I... I am going to take you now dearheart. Please... this may hurt just a bit?"

Esther blinked. She knew that he knew she was not an innocent. He must know that it no longer hurt her to be taken?

"I will stop if you want me to," he said quickly, when she didn't answer.

"No, love, it's fine. I will be fine."

She wrapped her legs around him, encouraging him to move closer, to enter her. She felt him reach down to guide himself in, his fingers fumbling a moment, searching and she waited patiently. She felt him press himself against her opening and then slowly push into her.

The cry that came from her lips shocked her. It hurt!

"Should I stop?" he asked, frozen.

"No," she answered through clenched teeth. "No!"

He began pushing into her again and she squirmed and tried not to scream out. She wailed, a long moaning wail and tried to fight the urge to push him off of her.

"Dearheart?" he asked, his voice a panic.

"Ben! Ohhh... It does. It does hurt, but please. Don't stop."

"I don't want to hurt you!"

"Ben! Please. It won't always hurt, I just... have to get used to you. Just, please don't stop. Not tonight. Even if I cry, just don't stop, ok?"

He didn't respond, but he did push in again making her squeal in pain. He began a slow, steady rhythm, trying hard to be gentle and careful, but she was sobbing and biting on his quilt to keep from screaming. Finally, the pain eased from sharp to a dull ache. He held himself above her, not touching her, just slowly moving in and out. She managed to pull her fists out of the blankets she had wound them in and reached up to pull him into a kiss. There were tears on his face! "Ben," she whispered, kissing the tears away. She pulled him close and kissed him while he finally let himself touch her. His pace quickened, just a bit and she gasped and arched her back, trying to ease the angle of the pain and suddenly he groaned and she felt him throbbing inside of her. It was hot and there was so much, it seemed unending and he buried himself as deep inside of her as he could manage.

He finally stilled and pressed his head to hers, panting and still trembling. "I'm sorry dearheart, I am so sorry. I hoped it wouldn't be so bad."

"Don't ever be sorry husband," she whispered. She pushed him gently, rolling him so she could lay on his shoulder. He held her against him, kissing her head over and over. "I will get used to it and I know what might help. We have time to figure it out."

"Does it bother you that I am not as knowledgeable as other men about..."

"No. We will learn together."

Esther had a hard time falling asleep, though he seemed to have no issue as he wrapped his arms around her and fell right to sleep. She lay thinking about the fact that she was married now and how accepting and good Ben was and how she didn't deserve him. She finally slept, but her dreams were dark.

She woke before he did in the morning, the light coming in through the window shining on his brown curls. He looked like an angel. She reached up and ran her fingers through those curls and he smiled, his eyes still shut. He tightened his arms around her and grinned. "Good morning wife," he said happily.

"Good morning husband," she answered, also smiling, catching his good mood. He sat up, looking down at her, then his eyes darted down and he quickly yanked the blankets up to cover her chest.

Esther found herself giggling as he turned red. She sat up, letting the blanket fall, watching his face turn crimson as he sprang out of bed. She watched him snatch up his pants frantically, noticing how disproportionate his manhood was on his diminutive frame.

"Husband?" she asked, a little alarmed. "Are you all right?"

"Of course! I just... it's rude to look... and..."

"Husband? Could you stop trying to get those on and come back to bed for a bit?"

He looked at her, his eyes locking on to hers with a will. He looked shocked and also intrigued. He wanted to, he just wasn't sure if it was proper.

"Husband? We are man and wife now, right? We can look on each other, enjoy each other, enjoy each other as much as we please?" she asked, getting out of bed and walking to him with no clothes on.

He watched her body as she walked to him, swallowing hard. He stood, still holding his pants in front of him, but he could not hide his excitement.

"We should get to know each other a bit more? Explore each other? Learn about each other?" she asked, taking his hand and pulling the pants away to drop on the floor. She pulled him back to the bed.

Immediately, he took hold of her shoulder and eased her down to kiss her. She kissed him back, but then moved, pulling back and sitting up. She lay him down and lifted his hand, kissing his fingers gently. She kissed up his arm to his chest, to his neck and back down to his other arm, before moving back to his chest and down to his tummy. His breathing was getting faster.

"Dearheart," he whispered hoarsely, concern and panic rising in his voice as she moved lower. She stopped and turned him over, leaving trails of kisses along his shoulders and back. She ran her fingers over the back of his knees, watching him shiver and smile as she explored him. She turned him back over and looked at his face as she lowered her face to him. He opened his mouth to object, or speak out, but she kissed the rigid edge of his huge member gently before looking back up at him. He swallowed again, unsure what to say or do. She kissed him again, then again, moving lower along the ridge on the back side. He groaned, a noise of acceptance as his head dropped back. She wrapped her hand around him on the base, then her other just above it as she licked the back ridge back up to the top. He lifted his head to look at her again, his eyes half wild with whether he should allow this or not. She wrapped her lips around the top and took him as far into her mouth as she could, swirling her tongue around the tip and making him moan louder.

She lifted her head to look at him again. "Do you like that?"

"Yes," he panted.

"Tell me what you like, so I know. I want to know everything you like so I can make you happy."

She took him into her mouth again and pushed him back as far as she could manage before pulling back and doing it again. She started moving her hands in tandem with her mouth, working all of him at once. His fingers slid into her hair, making fists, but he was gentle as he guided her speed and rhythm. He moaned again when he came and she swallowed convulsively, unsure what else she should do. He went soft as he gently released her hair and he lay staring wide eyed at the ceiling.

"Did... did he teach you that?" he asked, his voice off.

"What? No! No... why would you ask that? He never... he never made me do that.." Now that she thought about it though, she wondered why he hadn't. The answer rose quickly to her mind. Because he liked to admire his work. He like to spend himself inside of her and look at what he had done to her when he finished.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Is that.. Is that something you women tell each other about?"

"No! No, Ben. I figured it out on my own, sort of." She had extrapolated from what Jake had done to her one day, but for the most part, she had just done what she thought Ben would like. She had wanted to please him. Now she felt awkward and a little upset.

He sat up and put his hand on her shoulder. "Don't be upset dearheart. I'm just so new to all of this. I feel so... inept."

"Which is why I wanted to explore and find our way with each other. If every other thought you have of me is going to be to wonder about him, then I am not sure I can do this. Do you want to know about him? He bent me over a desk and took me that way. He beat me and hurt me and shamed me. Most all he did though, over and over again, was to bend me over a desk or seat, or whatever he could and take me from behind. Is that what you want to know? Or do you want details on how he hurt me too?" She was crying now and he was flinching away, his face full of pain. She turned away from him and dove into the pillows, hiding her face and crying.

His gentle hand on her shoulder only made her cry harder. He lay against her, his hands on her shoulders and his head on her back, holding her from behind. She finally stopped crying and he turned enough to kiss her back gently.

"We should eat, dearheart," he said softly. "Your clothes are still in the bag your pa dropped off with your hope chest yesterday. I will grab it and we can walk up to the inn and have breakfast. Do you feel like walking out with me this morning?"

"Yes husband," she answered, sitting up. He stood and kissed her head, then grabbed her bag.

Walking into town felt odd. It was so quiet. She knew Mrs Lawson had stepping into the schoolteacher spot until a new one could be sent for, but she didn't realize how quiet the town was during the day. The inn had a few customers, but Esther didn't pay much attention as he led her to a seat in the corner by the windows. She had seen him in this same seat a few dozen times from the shop across the street.

"Mornin' Ben, your usual?"

"Yes Bev, thank you. Esther, what would you like?"

"Just some toast and tea please," she said to Beverly, politely.

She wasn't sure what to expect after breakfast. What did he normally do with his days? She was surprised when he led her back to the little house and straight back to the bedroom. Doubly shocked when he began undressing her carefully, watching her face warily for any objections. She only watched him curiously as he removed every stitch of her clothes. He moved her slightly, so she was standing in the light from the window, then looked at her, touching her, holding her arms out to pose for him as he watched her breasts as she moved. He kept glancing at her to make sure what he was doing was all right, but she kept looking at him with all the love she felt in her heart for him. He turned her, his hands gently cupping her bottom before sliding up to her waist. He placed his thumbs in her dimples just above her ass and held her tiny waist in his hands. She could see his face in the mirror and she could tell when he looked down at his hands and her ass, he really liked what he saw. He bit his lower lip and slid his hands higher, reaching around to caress her breasts from behind, squeezing and rolling his thumbs over her nipples. He leaned in close, his face pressed into her neck as he breathed her in.

He stood after a moment and moved back to look at her from further away, walking around her to see all of her. He moved close again and moved her to the bed, laying her down gently on her back. He explored her in almost the same way she had him, but with his fingertips and eyes. She was surprised when he nudged her legs apart, but she didn't object, smiling at him when he looked at her for permission. He spread her wide and moved close, touching her with his fingertips so softly that it tickled. He wasn't shy about using his fingers to part her to look at her from inches away. Her cheeks colored, but still she did not object. He lifted her legs to angle her better, then spread her even wider. She was actually starting to feel uncomfortable and exposed now, but still she did not object. She did have a brief image of when Jake had done almost exactly this to her. As if reading her thoughts, Ben lightly touched her puckering anus and she gasped.

"Is that sensitive?" he asked softly, curiously.

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes wide.

She coudn;t see him anymore, but she could feel his hot breath on her.

"Dearheart?"

"Yes husband?"

"I want permission to... do as I wish right now."

"What do you wish?" she asked, almost fearfully.

His tongue, hot and wet, shoved into her asshole and her eyes went wide as she forced herself to stillness. His mouth latched on almost roughly as he slid his tongue in further. He moved higher, doing the same to her cunt, latching on and forcing his tongue in as far as he could, his jaw working. She knew what he wanted, what he was trying to do. She curled her fingers into his hair and pulled him higher. She pulled his fingers up and showed him where to touch her, where her pleasure spot was. He didn't hesitate, latching onto it. She moaned and wrapped her legs around his head, whispering to him, guiding him. He slid a finger into her and she moaned again, knowing she was close. A second finger made her cum immediately, clenching around the fingers inside of her and her legs locking around his head.

She lay for a moment, smiling and euphoric, then pulled him higher. "Take me now," she whispered.

He didn't have to be told twice, sliding into her with relative ease. It still hurt, but not nearly so much. His immediate drawn out moan told her that he liked that much better as well. "Esther," he whispered, his voice full of an aching need. He went up to his knees and grabbed her waist, raising her higher. He slid into her, pulling her back against him as he did. He got into a rhythm where he was bouncing her off of him and he pulled her back only to ram her away again. It hurt, but Esther was more taken with this man above her who was like a thing gone wild and primal. He was no longer an unsure, sweet man, he was taking what he wanted in the most primal way. She liked it, in a way, but it also scared her. He slammed into her with a roar as he crashed back down on top of her, filling her. She held him close to her as he panted, still inside of her, pulsing every few seconds.