Eulogy for a Cad

But part of Queen Elizabeth's personality is her forgiving nature and trusting soul. Plus, her willingness to admit when she's wrong, Yeah Right!

Jimmy and Bethany swore they'd never gone all the way, not that night and not ever. The Royal rebuttal was she'd heard there're very few virgins in high school, especially not a stud like Jimmy! Well, there had been one virgin..., Me! Girls and dates never came easy to me.

I guess even her dad tried to get her mom to back down. Tried to get her mom to realize there wasn't any actual evidence they'd had intercourse. He told her that was an unreasonable demand. But eventually he quit, and as usual bowed out. Then Jimmy was pushed out, but he said even from outside the house you still heard Queen Elizabeth screaming..., and the high drama continued.

I can imagine the Queen's anger was immense. To walk in and find the very thing she's been fighting against for years, happening right in her own home. Yeah, she'd be pissed!

It took almost 3 months before Jimmy got another date with Bethany. My friend was really torn up, and I tried to console him, didn't work. Bethany had dates with: Johnny Crawford, Jeremy Wilkes and worst of all Gary Coleman. Jimmy and Gary did..., NOT get along.

Somewhere in this shit storm of happenings, I had my last real talk with Bethany. It wasn't long, and it wasn't friendly. I didn't use the exact words, but basically, I asked Bethany why she didn't tell her mom to, Butt Out! All she said was, 'I can't it's my mom!' Over and over again, and cry. But I wasn't very sympathetic to her, and we were never close again; polite, yes, close no.

Maybe it was just high school drama, but I was worried about him. I found him wandering the riverbank late at night. We lived out on Tor Lane by a loop of the Guadalupe River. So, I tried to be with him a lot, just in case. That's probably why I wasn't very sympathetic with her.

Later, age and maturity gave me the realization Bethany had never been a very strong person, even something of a submissive. But, how could she have been anything else? Having a mother steeped in frustrated dreams and unreal expectations? Who was stubborn, controlling and manipulative? Add in a non-participating father and she never had a chance.

Jimmy went out with Mary Ellen Adams and Stephanie Mitchell before he dated Bethany again. Did they have to follow Queen Elizabeth's edict? I don't know..., I wouldn't have asked Bethany, it was none of my business. I didn't ask Jimmy because I didn't want to hurt my friend's pride, but again, it just wasn't my business.

In senior year two major things showed up. The first was what I think eventually killed Jimmy..., toys. Approaching his locker between classes one day I watched Jimmy and Marybeth Olson talking. Marybeth was touchy and seductive while Jimmy appeared disinterested. They said a few words as I got closer. Only to have Marybeth turn away and run past me crying. Jimmy still looked disinterested.

"What happened to Marybeth?"

"Ah, she wanted to go out this weekend. But this weekend's my date with Bethany."

"Doesn't it bother you when they cry like that?"

"Nah, they're just toys. Bethany's the only real one."

Queen Elizabeth had taught them that other people are toys to be used. Rules to be satisfied until Romeo and Juliet could be together again. Their emotions and relationship had meaning, but other people's emotions and feelings were just toys.

She also taught them how easy it was to find other partners. Plus gave them plenty of practice in acquiring them.

Hell, even my mom said Jimmy was a hunk. 6 foot four, 225#, muscles on muscles and not an ounce of fat anywhere. Jet black hair, perpetual 5 o'clock shadow and handsome features, but most importantly piercing blue eyes and big hands with long fingers. No, I'm not gay or bi, that was Mom's description, oh..., big feet. She always had to add that in too.

Ha..., Dad asked Mom if he had to be worried about Jimmy. With a sly smile and a twinkle in her eye Mom's comeback; 'Not if you keep up your homework.' Dad's grinning rebuttal; 'If you keep clean sheets on, I'll make sure the workbench springs are tuned up.' The gleam in dad's eye let me know he didn't think it would be work at all.

Yeah, Jimmy the Hunk had it easy picking up toys. His own brand-new pickup truck before anyone else even had a junker. Add in the amount of money he always had in his pockets made dating easy in high school. Even though Jimmy didn't have after-school activities or play any sports, he was still popular. He always worked with his dad after school instead, so yeah, he had money.

Bethany had no trouble getting dates either, partially because of the rumor. How it got out I don't know, but the rumor was she had to put out before she got another date with Jimmy.

Bethany was Jimmy's girl.

That and the rumor let boys know they didn't have to court or woo Bethany. She was Jimmy's girl, and she just needed to count up a date, possibly put out, before she could be with Jimmy again. The rumor guaranteed she'd spend at least part of her dates at the submarine races and back seat octopus wrestling, or maybe she didn't even wrestle. I didn't ask, it just wasn't my business.

Queen Elizabeth also taught them how easy discarding toys could be, the next one would be there when you needed it. The high school drama of relationships, going steady and breakups were things Jimmy and Bethany didn't have to deal with. At least the emotions didn't affect 'them.'

But they also lost any of the learning, responsibility or sexual maturity that comes from experiencing those relationships and their consequences.

That's what I think finally did Jimmy in. Fate just took a long time getting around to it.

Toys..., They're just toys to Jimmy, and that's what did him in, Bethany too.

Folks always argue about which is stronger, Nature or Nurture, and which influences a growing child more. Well, Jimmy was fucked both ways! Queen Elizabeth sure added a lot of destructive nurturing at the time in life a young boy and girl are particularly vulnerable and are forming patterns in their sexuality. But she wasn't the only one.

Jimmy's dad was, 'A rounder, a bounder, and a cad'. A bronc riding-dance hall cowboy with two-stepping shit kickers on the bottom and a Stetson on top, with a big silver belt buckle in the middle. He polished that silver buckle on many a dance-hall dolly. Later they polished his..., well yeah. Church steps ya know.

The only problem is he didn't quit polishing his belt buckle with dance hall dollies after he married Jimmy's mom. She wasn't a dance hall dolly, but that's where they first met.

When he was seven-years-old the second most important female in Jimmy's life showed up. He got a baby sister, and he responded to that baby as if he'd given birth to her himself. If the Three Musketeers had plans sometimes Jimmy bowed out to be with and hold baby sister. He named her Rose.

Not quite a year later Jimmy folks got divorced. Not much was said about it and it was a quiet divorce. Mom and baby sister left, Jimmy and his dad stayed.

"I guess she wasn't Pa's git." Was Jimmy's only comment and he never talked about it again. He never saw them again either..., but I did today. First time I saw Carolyn and Rose in thirty-seven years. Yeah, Jimmy was forty-four when he..., yeah..., (Sigh)..., Yeah...

Queen Elizabeth's last stroke killed the Romeo and Juliet love affair. Midway through senior year of high school I got let in on the 'Big Secret.' Cliché of clichés, the young lovers would elope. Right after the graduation ceremony they were going to run away and get married before anyone could stop them. Plans were in place, rooms reserved, blood tests taken, and a certificate was ready..., and a ring bought.

Bethany had never been very strong..., maybe..., I'm not sure. But somehow Queen Elizabeth found out. She didn't come out fighting or screaming. She came up with a plan, a counter-offer to marriage.

College at Rice University, and legacy into the same sorority Queen Elizabeth had belonged to. AND... And a brand-new, fire engine red Mercedes roadster convertible, all for Bethany. Plus, she could stay engaged to Jimmy and spend summers however they wanted to, even live together. Only if they didn't get married or pregnant until after college graduation.

Bethany took the offer.

I thought the 'permission' for summers was beyond cruel. I knew the same thing Queen Elizabeth did. It would take a very strong woman to wait for four years when there would be a great many attractive men, rich men and certainly more acceptable men at Rice University.

This summer would give Jimmy a taste of what he wanted before fall jerked it away.

I tried to warn Jimmy of what I thought would happen. He didn't agree, but he also didn't disagree. Jimmy's dad had a dance hall dolly/FWB/part-time girlfriend in Austin. He moved in with her for the summer and left the Seguin house for Jimmy and Bethany.

Right next door to her mom, and I couldn't figure out if that was a good thing or bad. I giggled imagining Queen Elizabeth in bed thinking of what Bethany and Jimmy were doing at night, right next door. But Queen Elizabeth still had her hooks in Bethany during the day while Jimmy worked.

Jimmy had always worked, at least after he turned thirteen. How do I know that? Because most of the time I worked right alongside him. Theirs was a busy roofing business, and after school found us working site cleanup and staging for the next day, sometimes until late at night.

We'd be moving around materials, stacking supplies and checking to make sure the next day's crew had what they needed, often on several job sites. That's where Jimmy got muscles on muscles. Work muscles that didn't come from a gym, and later it was the reason he got his new pickup truck. On Saturdays being big and strong enough made him one of the crew on the rooftop, and got paid the same. For the first couple years I wasn't, but after fifteen Pa Barrett kept me roof-top most Saturdays too.

Barrett and Son Roofing ran three crews; Austin crew, Seguin crew, San Antonio crew. The summer he graduated Jimmy took over running the San Antonio crew. It was apparent to everyone his dad would never make it to retirement age working or even managing the business. Pa Barrett had been thirty-five when Jimmy was born, fifty-three when Jimmy graduated high school. They both knew he wouldn't be working at sixty. So possibly before Jimmy approached thirty everything would become his responsibility.

Pa Barrett had tried to rodeo for too long. Burned both ends of the candle too hard and too fast. 'Work, party, fuck 'em all and sleep light, Next!' I can still remember that drunken holler. The trouble was even at fifty-three he still tried to live that chant. Now at seventy-five there's just a shell and memories left, but no Jimmy. I don't see Pa Barrett lasting much longer...

Especially if he has to run the company as much as Jimmy has built it up. Five crews in Austin, plus a warehouse facility with a DIY lumber yard outlet in front. An equipment yard with its own heavy equipment shop that took on not only repairs for their own equipment but whatever other heavy equipment repairs they could drum up too.

The Seguin office stayed with one crew but became headquarters for the operations. There was a scheduler/dispatcher there, plus a three person sales/bidding staff, a purchasing agent, receptionist, bookkeeper/payroll and a personnel office. All in the lower floor of a six-story office building.

The San Antonio division expanded to three crews, a warehouse facility, equipment yard with a maintenance shop. In short, Jimmy took Barrett and Son roofing from a one-owner operation that paid its small crews in cash on Friday to a major company doing several million dollars business a year.

After his parents divorced, Jimmy and his dad were alone at the house across the street. His dad never remarried, not even close. They always took care of each other though, until his dad couldn't anymore. Then Jimmy took care of him. He said he'd never send his dad to one of those old folks' prisons, I knew he meant a nursing home.

He never did, but when 18 hour/6-day weeks made Jimmy realize his dad needed more. Jimmy hired a live-in health-care worker. A male nurse who wanted out of the hospital environment. He said he had two ways to go: get callous, or get out of nursing. He'd seen too much misery for too many years. Jimmy also hired a part-time housekeeper/cook, a nice, roly-poly Latino grandmother. Yes, she was an American citizen, even in his roofing business Jimmy didn't hire illegals.

My mother only got in between Jimmy and his dad once. That was within the first year after the divorce. Pa Barrett and she 'discussed' the number of women he was bringing home while his young son was there. After their discussion he didn't bring any more toys to the Seguin house, he took his playing elsewhere.

As a result, Jimmy spent more time at our house than his own, at least until he was old enough to take care of himself, and my mom decided when that was. Even in his later years, because of my mom's feelings, Jimmy never brought 'toys' to the Seguin house. Respect was strong, even though she never said anything about it to Jimmy.

Later in life showed that respect of women was one of Jimmy's indecipherable quirks. Any female in a dance hall or club, was a toy and not 'quite' sub-human, unless you were the significant other of one of our friends. Then you were 'real' and not a toy. If you dated one of our friends but were not 'significant', you were a toy but never touched. If you're one of an older generation of women and known as a good woman, you weren't a toy and treated with respect and courtesy, but never touched. But if you'd been seen in a dance hall pursuing men, you were a toy and open game.

If you were a toy to Jimmy, there were few ways out of that box. A girl that had been one of Jimmy's toys yet became 'significant' to someone Jimmy respected, you became 'real' thus untouchable. Also, the mental computer file holding your status and whatever fun and games you'd had with Jimmy, was permanently deleted from the hard drive of life.

I can only remember a few women who made the step from toy to real woman by themselves. Suzy Fisher became a fireman, she'd been a toy back in high school. A 'one and done' date in our senior year of high school. As a fireman Suzy first pulled the mother out of a burning car wreck. Diving into the back seat she passed out two children, and was running away while carrying a third..., when the car exploded. The other women who stepped beyond toy status didn't have to do anything so heroic, just something special that put them into the 'person' status.

One thing changed when a woman stepped out of toy status, that was the possibility of having a sexual or romantic relationship with Jimmy vanished. 'Good women' he treated with respect and courtesy, but never touched. Toys were sexual but in some strange way sub-human. Bethany was the only sexual, romantic woman possible.

Between the ages of eight and twelve I think Jimmy spent more time at my house than his own. I think that's the only reason Mom felt comfortable 'discussing things' with Pa Barrett. Plus, I think my mom became more important to Jimmy than his own mother did. I know he respected her more than his own, in fact more than any other woman.

Again, between the ages of eight and twelve, my mom helped Pa Barrett fulfill a promise to his ex-wife. Carolyn, Jimmy's mother, had been raised Catholic and very regular at attending Mass. She wanted Jimmy to still attend even after she'd gone. So, Sundays if Jimmy's dad forgot, Mom took Jimmy to Mass with us. Plus, Mom got Jimmy some counseling through the church to help him deal with his parent's divorce. Later in life those counseling sessions figured prominently in the Bethany/ Jimmy story.

The fall when Bethany and the little red convertible left, Jimmy was alone. Really alone, because I used all the money Pa Barrett had paid me over the years, and left for the University of Texas-Austin, and the Cockrell School of Engineering. I'd always excelled with math and computers. Plus, I'd much rather create something than tear it down, bridges and buildings seem like interesting things to build.

My dorm-mates decided they really liked Jimmy. Instead of partying in Seguin or San Antonio it was only 50 miles up to Austin, and his good buddy and fellow musketeer..., me. Plus, UT-A coeds loooved Jimmy.

There was a lot of Jimmy for coeds and dorm-mates to love. Brand-new pickup truck, nice clothes, high-paying job and no bills meant plenty of walking money. Oh, a tall dark and handsome hunk with piercing blue eyes, big hands and feet helped too.

An eighteen hour/day work week he needed to burn off in a weekend meant the party started when Jimmy got there. A generous fun-loving guy who's not above buying a few extra rounds, shots or pizza for broke college students. Who'll dance with 'all' the girls, so he attracts a lot of girls.

THAT, my dorm-mates really appreciated because there were always extras. I'll admit freshman year I got lucky there a time or two as well. So, it was fun and games until Jimmy found the girl he wanted..., for that night anyway. With a wink and a wave to me I knew I'd have to find a different way back to the dorm.

He'd pick me up for breakfast/brunch/lunch whichever was appropriate. We hang out or find something to do. Evening found us back to wherever the party was that night, and then a carbon copy of the night before, except in the morning I went off to classes and Jimmy had already gone back to work.

At the time, I thought that was a good period in life for Jimmy. He was more relaxed and seemed happier than he'd been in years. He'd left behind the stress and drama of Queen Elizabeth and Bethany, of dating and engagement. Plus, he'd just come off of a summer of what he wanted, playing house with Bethany.

But here's where I've got to start admitting to my own contributions to this shit-storm. I helped reinforce inappropriate behavior that wasn't morally right. The only justification I have was that I was so young, and college was a first time of adult freedom.

Jimmy was a stud and by association so was I.

For the first time in my life girls came easy and left just as easily. Jimmy and I were the center attraction for a large circle of friends and acquaintances, who fluctuated in an out with an even larger group of people, Country Music and dancing aficionados. Two step and line dancing, jitterbug and beer drinking, but no drugs.

At UT-A there were a lot of students who had never been in Texas before, even some international students. They all wanted to party and dance like Texas Cowboys and Cowgirls, and we were there to help them.

John Travolta in 'Urban Cowboy' was a popular movie during the 80s, but the culture was still going strong in parts of Texas in the early and mid-90s.

When I thought about Jimmy and Bethany's engagement it wasn't for long or very deep. Was Jimmy doing things an engaged man shouldn't do? Hell Yeah, but I'm sure Bethany was doing the same thing at Rice University, with her little red convertible. Plus, with them I felt it was just SOP, standard operating procedure.

I felt like a BMOC, (big man on campus) for the first time in my life. Jimmy was too, without even going to school there.

Was his treatment of UT-A coeds kosher? Well, that's more of a gray area. Yeah, he played fast and loose with a lot of young women's emotions, and with some their budding sexuality, but so were a lot of other guys freshman year. It wasn't a one-way street either, a lot of women played fast and loose too.