Everything Changes

With our project submitted, Abby encouraged me to dig out some of my other songs. In between the technical lessons, we found time to go over and pick out a couple of songs to work on.

"Lets talk over lunch," she suggested.

"Sorry, I can't. I already committed to have lunch with Lilly."

"Oh, right," she muttered. "Maybe later then?"

"Yeah, I have a guitar lesson at three. Maybe after that?"

"Nah, can't do it. I have cello right up until four."

"Are you working tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah, sorry. We can do it tomorrow. I like that third song you showed me. Have fun at lunch." Okay, I'm not great with people. I did sense a feeling of maybe dejection?

Lilly was full of life as we sat together on the grass, the big old Pohutakawa shading us from the sun.

We talked about classes, and writing. She was working on a short story that she wanted to enter into a competition. I rambled on about the new songs. It was fun, especially as our tummies were full from the creamy pasta salad she brought.

The weeks sort of drifted by. My busking improved. I was beginning to get a feel for the crowd and what songs got them going. It was a definite skill, reading their reactions and focusing on which ones were going to throw some coin into my case.

At school, one of our lecturers gave me some hints when I queried him on reading the audience. I was surprised when he told the class he used to busk when he was a student, struggling to pay his way.

That generated a lot of questions and some real discussion. He actually created a week long course on reading the audience and how to use the information. It was pretty cool when he brought in his violin and busked for us. I learned a fair bit from watching him. Abby was stunned that I was able to get him to open up.

Abby decided to come with me one weekend. We plotted out our map, and Saturday lunchtime, we started. It took no time at all to gather a small crowd of enthralled onlookers. Abby really got into it; a young woman at the front of the collected audience was focused on her. She stood swaying, her eyes fixed on Abby. I smiled as I wondered if she felt like prey. The woman was so obviously a huntress. If she was any more obvious she would be licking her lips in anticipation.

Abby played up to her thirsty eyes. She swayed sensuously as her hand worked the bow back and forth across the mellow strings. The woman, too, moved, her hips moving in a slow gyrating swirl.

It was very erotic, the woman enjoying Abby's show.

It felt a little like one of those wildlife programs featuring the mating habits of the lesbian musicians of greater Auckland.

The case soon filled, and our hour slot had expired. We were busy packing up when the woman appeared over Abby's shoulder. "Could I buy one of the little jump drives, please?"

Abby stood to face her. "They're ten bucks."

"Choice, I'll take two please."

Abby glanced in my direction, but I just replied, "You can do it."

"Fuck you," she mouthed with pursed lips.

I heard the woman ask, "Could you sign it please?"

It was like watching reality TV; the woman knew exactly what she wanted. "Who should I make it out to?" Abby asked.

She replied, "Your number would be a good start."

Abby sniggered. "You want my number?"

"Yes, please."

"Why didn't you just ask?"

"This seemed like more fun, like, clever." She reached out her hand. "I'm Jane."

Abby nodded casually, responding, "Me Tarzan."

I had been watching, but started to feel uncomfortable as it got more personal. I focused on loading the gear into Abby's car. I waited for her to finish her flirting, sitting in the car.

When she slid in behind the wheel, she gave me an angry glare. "Why the fuck did you do that?"

Shocked by her sudden change, I replied, "I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Why didn't you sign the bloody thing, Why did you make me do it?"

"I thought you were into her. I saw the way you were looking at each other."

"For your information, just because I'm a lesbian it doesn't mean I'm a slut."

"I never said that."

"It's what you implied. I was flirting hoping she would buy an album or throw some money in. I wasn't looking to hook up."

Her anger surprised me. "I'm sorry, Abby, I'm not into what happens in the gay world. You're the only gay person I know."

"Yeah, well, we're the same as hetros. I don't jump into bed with anybody. Especially domme bitches like her."

"I'm sorry, Abby. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, as well. I know you're not really aware."

We moved onto our next site, which was down by the viaduct. It was awesome, the small crowd really got into it. I noticed a middle aged guy, quite good looking. He was glancing around the crowd as if he was assessing them. He listened intently, threw some notes into the case and nodded before moving away.

Abby and I were in the middle of packing up when he returned. "Evening, girls," he said loudly. "I'm Jim. I own Salamanos bar and grill. Would you be interested in a couple of night's work?"

Abby and I exchanged glances. "What exactly are we talking about?" Abby asked.

"I would like to introduce live music into the bar. I was thinking maybe Wednesday and Saturday nights. Would you be interested?"

"How much?" Abby asked.

"Would five hundred cut it?"

"Works for us," Abby responded. "Can you throw in some food and drinks as well?"

"Yes, I reckon we can do that. Just the two nights at this stage, but if it works out, then maybe we can make it a regular thing."

"Sweet, See you Wednesday."

After he was gone, Abby said. "We better learn a few more songs." She seemed blasé, whereas I was jumping out of my skin. "I can't believe it, a gig."

She laughed at my exuberance. "Settle down, it's just a gig."

"Yeah, but it is a paying gig, and we get food."

The weekend went quickly, and I couldn't wait to tell Lilly. "What? Oh my god. Oh shit. I have to get the girls together. We can't miss your first gig."

Abby and I focused on the songs. She even came around to her mum's place in the evening before work to rehearse a few. Claudia came in and watched as we went through some songs. She seemed impressed, her eyes following Abby everywhere.

Lilly was more interested in what I was going to wear. I hadn't really thought about clothes, but Lilly could be very determined, and dragged me off to shop for something suitable. She was on a different world. I wanted to go to the cheapest shops I could find. She wanted boutiques. In the end, we compromised. We stumbled across this recycled clothes store. It was filled with awesome labels: stuff I could never afford, but because it was second-hand, it was in my price range. I found some cool jeans and a nice sparkly top. Lilly was disgusted, but went along with it. She had more fun shopping for herself. We both went away happy.

Bloody hell, I was nervous. It took me ages to get ready. At the venue, Jim met us, introduced us to the bar staff and showed us where to set up. He didn't have a proper stage, and there was no sound system. Luckily, Abby had thought of that, and we borrowed a small PA from the Uni.

We were quickly set up. Sound checks were quick and easy. With only the two of us, it was simple.

As the crowd gathered, we kicked off. The first coupe of songs were shaky, mostly because of my nerves, but seeing the crowd get into the music fired me up. Having Abby by my side was a godsend. I'm not sure I could have done it without her. We worked so well together. Her voice flowed over mine like melted chocolate dripping over ice cream. She picked up on my every change.

Her cello filled all the gaps, especially when I played a little lead. She was amazing, and so bloody sexy. She swayed her body, moving sinuously. Everything about her oozed confidence.

I kept looking around for Lilly, but they were obviously late. Maybe not coming at all, which made me a little sad. Still, at least the crowd was reasonable, and they were into us.

About ten, I heard the shrieks and yelling. Looking towards the bar, I saw Lilly and the girls. They quickly got drinks and rushed onto the dance floor. "Go, Tui," they yelled as they danced provocatively.

"What the fuck?" I heard Abby snarl. She glanced at me with a very dark scowl. "What the fuck are they doing here?"

"Lilly's my friend," I shot back defensively.

When I looked down at Lilly, she was staring at Abby and it wasn't hard to see there was no love lost there. I tried to ignore it as we got into some of our bouncier covers. Lilly seemed to have put aside her feelings, because she danced wildly with the girls.

Having them on the dance floor did wonders for the crowd. It filled with young guys trying to get in amongst the girls. It certainly swelled the numbers dancing. That always encourages more dancers, and soon the dance floor was overflowing with hot sweaty bodies.

At the end of our first set. Lily rushed up, threw her arms around my neck and planted a hot wet luscious kiss on my lips.

It shocked the hell out of me, but all I could do was hold on. It was intense. As she slipped away, she was replaced by the other girls, who were all full of congratulations.

I turned to introduce Abby, but she was already on her way to the bar. "What's she doing here?" Lilly growled, pointing to Abby's back.

Confused at her dislike, I replied. "We're a team. We recorded the songs together. She's my friend. Do you know her?"

Lilly shrugged in an off-hand casual gesture. "I know who she is."

The girls quickly took over and overwhelmed the conversation. Abby returned with drinks for us both. She glanced snidely at Lilly, and said, "Hey, Lilly. Fancy meeting you here."

"I could say the same," Lilly answered. "You sound good together. Congratulations."

I took the opportunity to introduce the girls, who Abby didn't know. The break was over quickly and we were back into it. We had a run to the end of mostly up-tempo covers. The dance floor filled quickly, and I noticed Lilly with her phone out videoing us.

With her encouraging me, I played up to her, posing and dancing as the girls shrieked louder. Abby was on fire, as well, Lilly might have some issues with her, but she shot plenty of footage of Abby, as well.

At the end of the night, the bar staff brought us some drinks and Jim came over. "That, ladies, was absolutely great. We haven't had a crowd like that in here on a Wednesday night for god knows how long." He handed over our pay, and said, "See you Saturday. I'm already thinking, if you're free for a couple of hours on Sunday, maybe we could do that as well?"

Abby smiled happily, and we had a quick hug before we started on the packing up. Even for such a small rig, it was a lot to carry. Thankfully, a couple of guys from the bar came to help. Only, I think, because Lilly and the girls were finishing their drinks and hanging around. They were just trying to impress.

Once we were packed up, Lilly came over for a hug. "We're going back to my place if you want to come over."

"Nah, maybe not tonight. I have an early morning lecture."

"Oh, come on, we want to celebrate your success. You were awesome."

The moment Lilly came over, Abby walked away, and there was clearly something going on between them. I pulled her back into our hug, replying. "No, not tonight, I'm a bit shattered, to tell the truth, and I have to get all this gear we borrowed back to the Uni."

She looked disappointed, but we shared a quick kiss, which was extended to include Angela and the other girls.

Abby and I drove back to her mums place, and the car was eerily silent until she turned the engine off outside her mums gate. "How do you know Lilly?" she asked, her voice uneven, controlled.

"She's in my creative writing class. I didn't get on with her at first, but recently she's been really nice. We have been out clubbing a few times. We have lunch together. What about you?"

She screwed up her face as she searched for the right words. I could feel the anguish.

"We dated for a while."

"What... You and Lilly? Bloody hell, I didn't know she was gay."

"Tui, she's Bi, she's not a lesbian. She swings both ways."

"Wow, I never knew."

"Do you like her, like are you sexually attracted to her?"

"Um... I... God, I don't know. I never thought about it." Even as the words fell out of my mouth, I knew that wasn't true, Lilly had created some feelings inside me that I was struggling to answer. Her kisses the night I puked, if that hadn't happened, was she going to take it further? When I thought about it in the days afterwards, I was disappointed.

I was at least curious.

Abby picked up on my disquiet. "Tui, I'm not trying to be nosy. Your life is your own. All I'm going to say is, be careful with Lilly; she is a free spirit. She could easily break your heart. She's a beautiful girl and she is very open, sexually. If sex is all you're after, then Lilly is the girl."

"Bloody hell, Abby. I haven't thought about any of this. I didn't even know she was gay."

"Lilly's not gay, she's a slut. She likes sex, I don't think she understands what love is. She will tell you she loves you, but then you'll find out she's sleeping with your friends."

Shocked at the vitriolic bite in her words, I asked. "Is that what happened to you?"

"In a way. I thought we were dating, turned out we were just fucking."

"Wow, I'm sorry. Did you love her?"

"I thought I was in love." She reached out letting her hand rest on my cheek. "Tui, we're friends and I like you. If Lilly is lighting your fire, then that's cool. All I am saying is be careful, okay."

I nodded, the feel of her hand on my skin felt so warm, I didn't want her to take it away. "Abby, I don't know what I want. All my life I have felt like the human race is a group, and I'm on the outside of that group looking in. I never really fitted in with anybody."

"Yeah, damn. I know that feeling. I had serious issues with my body, and who or what I was when I was younger. I dated some boys, and I knew I didn't fit in there. No fucking way. Then I met a girl, and she opened my eyes."

"Lilly?" I gasped.

"No, not Lilly. But my eyes were opened. I knew then I was gay. That's when my battle started. I didn't want to be gay. I wanted to have a family; I wanted children. I couldn't accept my sexuality. So I pushed back, got into a lot of trouble, experimented with drugs, got a little hooked up in that whole lifestyle."

"So what happened?"

"I was forced into counselling by the court. The therapist I saw was really good. She allowed me to accept who I really am."

"What about Lilly?"

"Lilly came along when I was trying to find romance. I was looking for somebody. Sex is easy to find, but I was looking for more. When I met Lilly, I couldn't believe she was interested in me. I never saw myself as pretty, not like her. You've seen her. She's fucking gorgeous. I fell in love just looking at her.

"We dated for a while, and every day I was deeper and deeper in love. Then when I found out she was having sex with some of my friends. Well, her friends that became mine. When I confronted her, she apologised and told me she wasn't looking for love, just wanted to be friends."

I hugged her, the tears were starting to well up in her eyes. Abby had always seemed so strong. I couldn't picture her crying. But here she was. I hugged her tighter. "I'm sorry, Abby."

"Yeah, me too. It hurt when I found out she was fucking guys, as well. I don't think she really knows what she wants. All I'm saying is be careful, don't let her break you as well."

I waved her away, and in bed that night, I started to imagine things. For the first time, little boxes started to fit into place. Was that why I felt uncomfortable around boys, why I was never actually attracted to them?

Thinking of the kiss Lilly and I shared, wow, I felt my body tremble, little shivers running up and down my body. There was a need, a yearning hunger. My fingers squeezed and massaged my boobies. My nipples felt so hard. Twisting and pulling them only intensified my need.

I let my hands caress me the way I had always dreamed of being fondled. The boys I had been with were always in a rush, focused on the end point. There had to be more to it, there had to be.

My fingers continued their exploration. With my eyes closed, I let my legs part and my hand slide between my trembling thighs. My panties were damp, my fingers sliding over the cotton. "Hhhhmmm." I moaned, my tongue slithering across my dry lips. With one hand massaging my stiff swollen nipples and my other sneaking under the top of my panties, I felt emotions I had never felt before.

I had never masturbated. None of my friends talked about it. I read about it, but had never felt the burning desire I felt at that moment. Right there, right then. I wanted release. There were all these emotions flooding my mind, and it was the need to release the tension that drove a probing finger between my swollen moist lips.

I jolted, the electrical shock sending tremors everywhere. "Oh god," I whispered quietly.

Pushing a little harder, my finger slid between the lips. I was moist, sticky juices easing my path. Was that supposed to happen? I didn't care, it felt so good. I pushed harder, and my finger disappeared into the creamy depths of my vagina. I swirled and let my discovery grow. As I slid my fingers in and out, those emotions grew quickly.

I felt the urgency, my hips pushing against the palm of my hand. I wanted fullness, so added another finger, and was embarrassed by the squelchy sloshy noise that emanated as my vagina tried to suck more inside.

I felt the convulsions grow, my hand moved faster, and as my palm passed over the top of my pussy, I felt a shock wave so huge it was like a tsunami of electrical shocks that kept going off.

I touched it again and there it was again, only this time it was more intense. I rubbed my juices all over it, and the tingling fire burned deeper into my core. I switched from plunging my fingers into my sloshy pit of joy to rubbing that little coiled nub of sensation.

I might be inexperienced, but it didn't take me long to figure out. This was a two-handed job. Like playing the guitar, one hand strumming, the other forming chords.

That was my attack, with my hips bouncing up and down frantically, irrepressibly. I toyed, rubbed, massaged, and twisted that delightful squiggly bit of flesh. My other hand ravaged my sloshy little pussy. I had never experienced orgasm. I heard about it, read about it, but here I was on my way to embracing it like a starving woman.

When it happened, it took me by surprise. I felt the need, and the tingling burning sensations drove me on harder and harder. I felt myself panting, gasping for breath. My hips thrust violently, wanting, no needing, whatever it was. Then, as it exploded from deep within, I was overwhelmed by the sheer power of it. My senses were in overload, my whole body trembled, shivering frantically.

Maybe I passed out; I'm not sure. It felt like I had been running up a steep hill, I had crested the summit and now I was walking slowly down the other side. The heat was unbearable. I had to throw of the blankets, but the moment they were gone, I needed them again.

"Oh my god," I breathed in a silly giggle. "Holy shit."

Letting my fingers caress the outer folds of my pussy. I realised how tender and swollen it was. My fingers, now, were on a gentle journey of discovery.

My clit, which I had discovered accidentally, was far too sensitive to touch, directly anyway. I found that caressing the flesh around it was nice, relaxing, but still sending out gentle encouraging sensations.

Sleep, damn when it did finally come, totally absorbed me into it's luxurious darkness.

I slept the sleep of the slated, totally at one with myself.